:: Maya's DJ ::

[miss_maya]

WELCOME!

To mark my 1 year anniversary since officially starting Lucid Dream training, i'm starting this new Dream Journal. 

The time has come to combine my old Journals Maya's Non-Lucid Journal and Maya's Lucid Journal, because the borders between lucid dreams and non-lucid dreams have gradually become too thin to conveniently divide dreams between two journals anymore. Actually I don't regret starting out with separate journals, since it forced me to think hard about the differences between lucid and non-lucid dreams. Thank You everyone on MM for making this such a wonderful forum to be on Looking forward to some great adventures!

This DJ will be color coded:
Black text   = Regular dreams
Purple text = Semi-lucid dreams (Dream control and Vivid dreams without a defined lucid awareness)
Blue text    = Lucid dreams (usually DILD, occasionally WILD)
Italic Black  = Comments
Lucidity level = A score out of 5 using Ed Kelog's lucidity scale (see spoiler).

Spoiler for  

Ed Kelog's lucid scale

1 - Sub-lucid. 
I realize that I dream, but continue to follow the dream "script"; no conscious choice.

2 - Semi-lucid.
I still follow the dream script (knowing that I dream), but I can make minor choices in keeping with dream reality.  (This is where I know I'm dreaming, but I still have a plot to follow, and that's keeping me from really thinking things through and making my own conscious decisions as to what I want to do.  I may transform into a dragon in order to kill puny fools blocking my path though, for example.)

3 - Lucid.
I have the choice of following the dream script or not, can make major choices based on awareness of my potentialities in the dream state e.g. might choose to try a dream experiment instead of continuing the dream scenario, etc.

4 - Fully Lucid. 
I'm fully aware that I dream and of the location and state of my physical body; also remember most knowledge from waking life, at least as it relates to goals that I had set for my lucid dreams.

5 - Super lucid. 
I'm aware of myself as an integrated whole, at least on level with how I would be during a waking focus.  Thinking, feeling, creating aspects of self are working as a unified whole.  Extraordinary (even for dream reality) abilities and experiences often manifest.

Note: The first two could go by either Sub-lucid, semi-lucid, or "false lucid", depending on who is talking.

[pj]

Oooh.  Shiny!

Happy anniversary!

[miss_maya]

HEALING

brief HI about seeing stars in the night sky very clearly, like someone with perfect vision.

I turn my head away from the computer screen, then see something i can't remember now, which causes me to be suspicious i might be dreaming. i turn my head back to the computer screen to check.. this time the background of the text window is black and the text is white. Yes its a dream. I feel the state of my body, suddenly i'm laying in bed, feeling a very pleasant green healing color inside my left inner ear which often feels sore IRL. It feels as though someone is sending healing energy there. I think "Thank you.." to whoever is sending this nice green healing. I'm aware that my body feels kind of nice too, slightly tingly and lack of any pain. Can i move and have a WILD? but how do i RC without moving? i don't want to lose this pleasant feeling.. Soon i begin to feel my physical body more and more. All the usual unpleasant physical discomforts are back now and i know i'm awake, i get up to go to the toilet.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity: 3/5
KITTY LETS FLY

Hanging around an empty room belonging to dad. Dad tells me i'm jealous of his house and tells me i get the small room to live in the back yard. Its very tiny and as i look at it from bbq area i wonder how to fit a table in there. As i do the little back yard 'house/room' i'm meant to live in keeps changing. I notice it's odd (dreamlike) and just at the same time my cat comes around and meows (i don't actually notice that he's white here). "Hello Kitty! wana go flying?" kitty says "meow" and darts around looking excited. "But first i have to RC" i pull my finger and it stretches. "Yes were dreaming! lets go flying kitty! ..as soon as i take care of this" i go do something just to my left, and then i have to take care of.. don't remember what. - i don't remember actually going flying with the cat

Lucidity: 2/5
KISS ME I'M DREAMING

I'm sitting on a table along side some anime character friends, they look Naruto-ish in their dress style and are taking a break from a mission. There is a chart on the wall which the boys play a game with. Depending what you land on the player has to do a dare/task. Its the cool looking guy's turn. I wish/dream control it so he gets the dare of having to kiss the nearest cute girl, which would be me (i double check there are no other girls around me right now). Dream gets fuzzy because i'm trying to control it, i brace for the event anyway hoping and wishing and visualizing.. - don't think it happened


DREAM COOKING

I get to stay/live in a sort of empty class/office room that isn't being used and belongs to a friend of mine. i move some small lockers out of the way to make a sleeping area for myself.

Something about learning to bake fish by drawing the outline and then there was a fish in baked pastry there!
Then i see a chubby girl making a cake out of thin air. I'm fascinated as i watch her draw a horizontal line in the air, then spin it with the texture and color in mind and it would create a layer of green icing just hovering there. Kind of looks like when you use a 3D program only in the air. Next she would draw the cake in the same way, concentrating on the outcome the whole time.

HICCUPS R BAD

I'm in the hospital room where babies are and watching the nurses do something (only i seem to only be an invisible observer). The whole time i hear one baby having hiccups. It keeps going and going, i wonder why the nurses don't do something. The hiccuping baby soon starts to wheeze after each hiccup, still nothing done, i feel helpless and worried. The baby makes these choking cries after each hiccup now and the nurses take notice saying "whaddo you suppose is going on there?". She goes to look at the wheezing/choking/hiccuping baby, but i think its too late. I'm so afraid of seeing the result (perhaps a deformed blue choking baby) i wake myself up. I see a very brief HI of a scary looking baby with overgrown eyebrow bone.

EVICTIONM

That living space i was living at before (in the other dream).. i return to see it.. gone! a blank lot of grass. Dream logic tells me that Andrew the owner of it had got upset at me and taken it away.. but what about my things? I walk up and see that he had been good enough to put them all back in my suitcase and dump it there. Ok.. I look on the road and see some more object there too. He must have been so angry he had thrown some of my stuff :(
but when i look at the toothpaste and random toothbrush on the road they aren't mine.

SILKY MAFIA JACKET

I'm at a public beach deck and some flirty young black guy's in expensive grey suits appear and bother the girls around there. Those girls are dark too but soon i'm somehow involved. I have no idea how but some commotion starts and i somehow fall onto one of the guy's suit jackets which was laying on the sand. It feels nice so i put it on. The guy wants to catch me, but at the same time some cops are approaching. The other people around are arguing. I still need a few seconds to stall so i flirt with the guy trying to catch me (he's really weak against this so it works). Apparently these guy's were part of some mafia and the cops catch them. phew no more commotion.

I enter some shopping area checking out a stand that says Free stuff! i fond a glossy black bead bracelet with ribbon and lace coming off it. I also pick up a roll of pretty ribbon. I'm about to walk off when i notice there is a tag on one of my goods and i look at the sign again. It say's the price they are.. Not free, bah, i put the stuff down and walk away I don't want it. I walk towards the exit and need to go to the toilet. I see public toilets and for a moment toss up whether i should attempt to go in this dream or wake up. I decide to wake up.

Lucidity: 2/5
SEX CHANGE YAY.. OR NAY..

I'm standing on the street and look into a tinted window at my reflection (a habit i have), and notice i'm a guy! I look like a guy from my high school with black hair. Gah, i'm so plain looking. I take a moment to style my hair the way i like with a comb. Since i have no gel, i tease it up to look as good as possible. It kind of resembles Justins hair (a fashionable friend of mine), but its not cut right, so this will have to do.
Right, lets see what its like to be a boy. i cross the street and ... (can't remember because i was lazy to write notes!)
Brian (someone i loved, but broke my heart) appears and i seem to be more confident speaking to him openly as a boy. We catch up and laugh about stuff. We go to this beach area and sit to have a drink. The topic becomes on girls and i begin to get interested and want badly to flirt with him.. but i'm a boy.. how can he find me attractive? i've always felt a bit boy-like (hmm only true in this dream). I'm dissappointed in myself and continue to listen to Brian talk while i don't really respond much.

I'm still really sad and walk out of a building (i think i'm myself again now). This all sux. At the same time i get this strange powerful feeling and the scenery is grey-looking. I crouch on the ground and jump into the air as high as i can. Wow! i leaped higher than i've ever flown in a dream! As soon as i reach maximum height i spread my arms out to the sides to hold me there in the air. Hovering i can see the sea in the horizon. I still have this ugly feeling though, and parts of the scene are missing or merged with this grey color. like a badly rendered 3D picture. (cant recall what next, know i did something, but not in my notes)

I'm standing among anime cosplayers, everyone is doing a dance. I'm trying to follow the moves. Although i've never heard this song before or seen this dance, i hum along and this gives me this mild lucid power to copy their moves in real time with the music.

Lucidity: 1/5
SCARY GLUTTON

Walking the dog and later. The dog is gone! i run around looking for her. No black dog to be seen, i ask people if they had seen her. Later she is found, and she has lost a front leg. She has bandages on her body and has recovered well. She can run around now. I feel bad as someone takes her for a walk.
I'm sitting on the floor near mum. Still sad because the dog is still lost. It looks like we are in a cinema room of some sort with dark curtains around. I get up and try to sit next to mum because i'm sad. She sits with her friends only they are teenage girls dressed in silky dark dresses like they are going clubbing. I can't quite fit next to mum because they are in the way. I try to get consoled by mum for being sad about the dog, but instead we end up arguing about something and i get upset. Typical..
I sit on the floor and draw a picture of an attractive anime-style male. The eyes are long and detailed, i'm very careful to draw the nose proportionately and well suited to his face. hmm, i think this iris is too small, maybe i'll make it bigger. I draw a few larger circles around it, this causes a cool effect i surprise even myself. I feel some of the girls watching over my shoulder, its irritating.
Suddenly i see dad with our 3 legged dog in bandages outside the window. I slam my picture on the ground upside down and run to where dad is. He said he found our dog. Someone had been very cruel, put her in a plastic box and sunk her to the bottom of a lake, she only had a little bit of air to breathe when he found her (also the air was some kind of special air ). i felt angry at the cruel people, shocked, yet very happy to have our dog back.
We walk back inside the house and i vividly notice creepy black drawings all over the walls. It gives me the shivers and i know its a very unusual almost lucid thing, but i ignore it and go outside to tend to the dog. She turns into a different breed, something fluffy.
I return inside and the creepy drawings are still there! Thats unusual even for a dream, i think in the back of my mind. most of them are of a bald guy (stick figure?) with some writing underneath. I stare at one of them which has its mouth slightly open. Written underneath is "I think i can talk" and i briefly see the mouth move. Oh freaky. I move away and through the door comes a scary fat bald guy with a scary energy. Appearance resembles "gluttony" from 'Full Metal Alchemist'. He wants to eat someone. NO! he's not eating my parents or my pets, no way! i get his attention telling him we will play a game. The first word is "Pizza" and i explain some very simple rules.. He becomes interested and this is where it gets very surreal. His face is in the floor (flat and huge), and his teeth in his wide open mouth are now a keyboard of letters, and the text will appear on his tongue. I type the word "pizza" on them and the teeth turn into blocks with letters on them. I somehow open his mouth wider and see a space in there, with bluish energy... I see/or put the words 'lucidity' or 'you are lucid' and 'you are dreaming' in there, while my tiny parents dance about continuing to distract him with the letter blocks. The word "pizza" appears on his tongue and its my turn to spell something. I rig the game and want to spell "pizza = wizz" as a way to put him off eating any of us, because when you finish spelling a word it becomes something he eats. My mini parents begin to prance around to carry the letters of "wizz" to the allocated spots. He suddenly doesn't like this game anymore. I look up from his face mat to where the real him is supposed to be standing behind me and he's vanished completely. Oh good.. oh wait! did he eat anyone? wait, everyone is here, but mum and dad are missing! Damn! Arh did you take my parents!
Wake.
hmm not good, maybe i've been reading Walms' journal too much..

  And yes, this is one nights worth of dreaming. (i was sick) Antibiotics make me very drowsy slept till 3pm.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity: 3/5
ENERGY

I've recently been fascinated by the energy work being done by Raven, MOSh and Walms' group. Got some very good advice from them on how to use it.
As i was falling asleep, i observed the energies inside my body.. i didn't notice much in terms of anything unstable until i looked to my heart area. I felt a sharper darker energy there, just your typical hurt from tough life circumstances. I thought i'd attempt to Stabilize it anyway. Concentrating on my whole body i imagined a perfectly calm lake with moon light shining off it. I focused on the serene feeling of such a scene rather than the visual. I felt my body energies relax and calm down more than before. I began to imagine other peaceful moments like when the sun shines rainbows through the crystal on my window on a hot day. My energies calmed more, in fact i clearly felt my need for the toilet fading away to nothing. oh this is handy. The painful energies in my heart area also calmed down. I continued to monitor my energies as i fell asleep making sure they are calm and 'stable'. This includes, thoughts and emotions that had to be kept in check, its all part of the package.
This continued into my dreams where i somewhat lucidly used peaceful energy on everyone i met.

I'm in a classroom with Gabrielle (primary school friend i don't see anymore), we are playing around drawing on the white board. As soon as she gets disagreeable (she's a common trouble DC) i use the peaceful energy on her and she becomes agreeable, we continue to play.

I'm walking down the street with Natasha (high school friend and trouble DC), she takes me to an interesting mound which looks like a mini grassy mountain with paths spiralling to the top. At the top is something magical. We go to inspect it, there are bugs living there. She gets frustrated and i use peaceful energy on her. she becomes friendly again..

I see a friend of mine, not sure who, but i'm surprised he has the ugly, pointy nose face of Antonio (an evil person IRL who stole something expensive from me), i'm appalled so i concentrate the calming energy onto his face. The person turns back into their normal self, no more Antonio.

I'm hanging out with Jasmine (friend in current life), we are usually a little awkward because we haven't known each other for long, so i use this calming energy on her, but more on the overall area around her to ease the awkwardness and cause a pleasant feeling. She smiles.



Lucidity: 3/5
vivid is just not the right word, it was almost realistic like 'astral realm' feeling.
HONEYCOMB CLOCKS

I'm in a small living room watching my 'uncle' (he seems like someone we know anyways) talk, and at the same time write on the fogged up bathroom mirror like its a white board. He's explaining something scientific to my dad (who sort of is, but isn't there). I wonder why they are writing on that mirror, i kind of want to join in, but i don't want to get involved in this boring conversation. Uncle gets up to go home, dad takes him to the door. I remain in the bathroom (turns out we were in there the whole time) and turn around to see that mum is cleaning. Huge blobs of clear silicon glue had somehow dropped on the bathroom cabinet. I tell her of this and meanwhile i grab some with my fingers and wonder what to do with it. I grab the round plastic standing mirror and put some silicon on the bottom (my idea is to give it more grip). Mum catches me and tells me off
She continues to clean as i go to the stairs. I can hear dad just locked the door to go out somewhere. I go downstairs and out the front door..there is a strange thick grey cloud resting on our front steps.. weird.. but i don't want to go near it either.
Instead i go to the left and hear a bird singing in the trees. Its an unusually loud song, so i look up and see an unusually big dark bird jumping from our roof to a pine tree and continue to sing. I notice another large bird, more brown in appearance, jump up a branch and mimic the male birds last tune only with the words "Honeyy, you know you're marrieed". I found this reprimand rather amusing, i had a feeling i was dreaming from all the odd stuff before, but i look down to pull my finger anyway.
Yep dreaming.
I look back to our front door and see a hippo-like creature simply waltz in through the closed front door. I laugh and look up again at the dark bird and his slightly possessive wife bird in the tree. The husband simply can't help singing more beautiful songs at the top of the tree, its just his animal nature. Fascinated i sort of fly up onto the roof and sit there watching these big beauties, i guess i'm hypnotized by the song. I didn't even notice the wife bird coming over to me. She is very polite and asks me if i would like to come over to their place for a drink. I say i would love to.
Her appearance now is more like a very pretty human of African descent, but only for this part where she wants to help me walk on the air towards the entrance to their tree house. Its not like i don't know how to fly, but she does it out of courtesy and i oblige. She gently holds my hand and we take a step to the edge of the roof, then she explains to imagine a bubble pressing up against my foot as we step onto the air. I do this successfully. The next step was the tree house. She invites me inside to sit at the small low table (you sit on the floor). There is a lovely wooden feeling inside this tree house. The furniture is simple, made of natural things. The table made of a slab of tree trunk roughly cut flat. The husband is to my left and the wife brings some boat-like cups made of hollowed branches. She puts it in my hand and pours some clear watery liquid in. I don't drink until everyone has poured. Acutally i'm fascinated by these boat cups, they have a division where the drink goes in, and some walnut pieces roll around in the other section. I can see that i have extra walnuts in my cup so after i drink i only have a few (to not appear as a greedy guest). The drink tastes like mildly sweetened water (probably with some nectar), a very fresh taste..
As we sit and chat i'm very careful not to look at the husband. Although he's a beautifully regal bird, sitting proudly at the table like a samurai. I'm afraid to look even mildly interested in him, since he's a natural flirt anyway and the wife would be unhappy. Instead i look at their furniture. There is a mirror just above and in front of where i sit. And then i look to the living area to the left of the husband. "Wow thats a fantastic chandelier!" The wife explains that it is made of honeycomb and that her husband made it. I look closer at it and notice hands of a clock coming down off it (you would have to lay on the floor to tell the time), "oh, its actually a clock isn't it!" I'm intrigued at the craftsmanship of this very complicated piece. Its reddish/orange, made of thousands of round flat cog circles (which look nothing like honeycomb) lined up perfectly in many flat layers, resembling one of those modern designer lamp shades.

I notice on another wall there was a very similar slightly smaller piece, it didn't look as grand, perhaps it was a prototype, but i complemented them for both.
Then we move to another room, i somehow feel socially awkward and cant seem to look them in the eyes, duno why.. Instead i look at some trinkets of jewelery that lay in a glass container on a pedestal. I find one and tell her "Oh my mother has a very similar one to this! only hers is larger and without the hearts attached.."
Soon its time to say goodbyes (which i don't really remember now) and i step outside and fly out of the tree house over my front yard.. I hear a black woman singing a happy song. I see the meadows on the hill below our house shimmer in the wind. I fly back up towards our house and i begin to sing along. Something about happy bright beautiful day. Indeed it is, i see multiple beautiful sun rays poking out from behind a cloud. I land on our driveway and take a few steps to where the back balcony starts. Just to make sure i'm still dreaming i pull my finger, it doesn't stretch but looks like it will rip, eew.
I want to climb up to it so i imagine climbing a solid invisible rope. It works, i'm climbing with my hands until i see a curtain hanging from the balcony. I grab it and climb the rest of the way up. Mum is cleaning something just where i'm climbing. I get up there and greet her. She replies, but i look twice because i thought i just saw.. she's been doing all this stuff with her eyes closed, huh??? She's too fast and has already gone inside. I follow and try to look at her face and indeed she's walking around cleaning with her eyes tightly shut. (kind of typical of my busy body mum)
"Mum! are you awake?" i turn her to face me and get her attention, She tries to open her eyes, but they roll back to the back of her head and shut again. "Mum, wake up!" She doesn't like this, so she kicks and punches free from my grip. ow, that hurt. She continues cleaning and fussing about the house "Mum, you can't go about (the dream world) with your eyes shut like this!"
mum replies "so what"
"Mum listen to me, when are you going to wake up?"
she retorts with "not today, i'm busy"
"Then when?"
She gets annoyed "maybe sometime this week, maybe never"
I think i keep questioning her until the conversation just gets even more hopeless. I give up and go to the front door again. i see the weird grey cloud sitting on the front steps, still there.. mm ok, i go back in and up the stairs to be alone. As i go up the stairs i feel strongly aroused for no reason at all, i think i want to just go to my room and get naked or something, but as i go upstairs i notice grandma is in my parents room. She tells me she can't get this electronic thing working. She wants to sing and she asks me if i have a microphone. I tell her i do, and go to my room to get it. I fumble around my stereo for a microphone, i'm having trouble picking it up due to my weird nervously horny situation. I'm about to explode into horny mode! I go to hand grandma the microphone as quickly as i can, stiffly opening the door just enough to fit the mic through. She thanks me and i close the door, phew.. If she had opened the door any more i feared i'd jump my gran taking out some sexual urges on her! Can't have that! So i return to my room. Baah! i want to fling my clothes off! use a vibrator! rub against objects! omg this is unbearable, sexual urges!!!
i wake.

[miss_maya]

Went to bed feeling depressed/unwell and suicidal. So i made it my intent to try suicide in a lucid dream.

A HARD GIRLS LIFE

Hanging at Seamew's (dream) place and his sister CC is at the computer in a long room decorated with CC's stuff (posters, toys etc). I go into the next room and there are people there. But a girl comes up urgently wanting my attention. She's my (dream) friend. Shows me some object (some fashion item) and wants to know what i think. I tell her its nice. She says that the guy who she just met bought it for her. In fact he payed for everything she's wearing. I can see she's dolled up quite richly, including a tacky leopard print top. I look at the guy and recognize him from a moment ago as one of the (hottest) guy's in the room (fashionable jap guy with browny/blonde hair), he looks soberly at me (as though thinking "you coulda' had me.." but maybe i'm just projecting) and walks off indicating for his new found girlfriend to follow him. My heart sinks, i really wanted him, why does she get him?
I walk back to the couch where i sit next to a girl i don't know. We chat and she shows me a new technique of gel nail art, where you make spikes and place blobs on the end, creating a 'crown' shape effect. I'm very impressed and somehow end up in a really strange embrace with her, where our legs are entwined as we half lay on the couch.
A guy sits to my right further along the couch, and as i turn my head i notice he and his guy friends also have shiny nail art on their nails and toe nails! I'm actually impressed, it kind of suits! However i get a brief flashback of the guy from before who had even better nail art to match his hair and clothes. I'm just heart broken about my number one preference going off with some other girl.
This guy on the couch asks to look at my nail art which i have on my toes.. I have painted (as i do in real life sometimes) bluish white roses on a midnight blue base, with pretty white whiskers coming out of each rose. I become embarrassed that my art is not as skillful as the professional art and say "i think i should have put some black in there somewhere.. it takes practice to get as good as yours" (referring to the one's these guy's have). He replies nothing to my comment and i can't even tell if his reaction is one of approval or not.. He is a very attractive slim Japanese guy with black hair who could be a close second preference in dating. He shows me long false nails: blue roses on a white background, with violet streaks painted over, they are super smooth and glossy like plastic. By this time i begin to like him more because we have something in common. He's nice too and offers me a look at a 'sample nail art' book he has. As he hands it over to me i'm already waking up..

Wake up annoyed that the dream finished there.. still feeling suicidal. I try again to make it my intent to try suicide in a lucid dream.

I'm hanging in the school yard and i think Natasha is there but this is vague, i only remember her presence.
I just went to the toilet in a toilet block and when i come out Steven (from high school) is there (but somehow i'm associating him with an attractive guy like the ones in the previous dream).. so i'm a bit moody and i ignore him. Instead i walk around the toilet block, which happens to be on a stone balcony on an ocean cliff.. I stand for a moment looking out at the ocean, feeling calm, even though the waves are quite large. Its time to go inside and Steven ushers me to the entrance.. It's a dome shaped stone hut. We go in through an almost impossibly small hole. (maybe i'm semi-lucid?) I go in feet first and my puffy (light blue) winter jacket puffs up as i squish in there, but then i'm inside. Its warm. I'm laying on the floor playing with a pen or something. There are other people around but i'm so into my sadness that, i just don't care what's going on. I notice Steven get up and come over. He sits down beside me, i'm still in my own world leaning my chin on the warm carpet floor. He apologizes for what had happened in the previous dream, about that guy going off with the girl. I tell him my woes "you know, i really wanted that guy.. its not fair.."
Steven continues to sit with me. I think he's even stroking my back or gives me a hug for a while. I begin to feel a little better.

Woke up and still no real lucid dream, but noticed the suicidal feeling is gone, and i don't feel like suiciding in my next dream (nor in waking life).


Dreamsigns: and possible solutions
- Seamew, CC, Natasha, havn't seen them in a long time - new people RC
- People in a room  - RC, and try to recall a mission.
- Hot guy/ Japanese person - RC and interact.. (even if i feel shy/ugly)
- Emotionally distraught/caught up - RC and see if the reason is real.
- Nails and Nail art - RC! funny how i somehow don't look at my hands at all during this!!
- Waking up - RUB HANDS!
- Toilet block... strange, i normally RC every time i go.
- THE OCEAN - location RC, and perform my mission to interact with it. However i think i wasn't in the mood..
- Puffy Jacket, i don't have such a fat winter jacket nor anything similar.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity: 2/5
BLOCK AND REPELL

HI: i vividly see myself! coming towards me in the living room. She is happy, slim, so bright and healthy looking! her jaw is so small and pretty, she is me at my very very best, i want to be like her, i reach out to her but she's intangible. I'm still in bed.

Just came back from toilet to a shopping center. Gabrielle (primary school friend and regular trouble DC) is following me around, its kind of irritating. I decide to fly up into the air and show her how peaceful flying around is (and that she should copy me since she's already so interested in me..) i fly about the food court and emit an aura of peace, projected at her also. She starts flying too and keeps following me. good. I fly nearer to the large glass doors where lots of daylight shines in. I fly around once more and finally allow her close to me. I sense she still hasn't got the idea, because as we meet in the air, the first thing she does is put her hands around my neck and wants to choke me. Bah i do the same to her and we are having a strangling competition. Well.. i'm sort of defending myself, but lose it..

Next thing i remember, i'm laying in bed attempting to masturbate, but it feels odd and something is off, i stop, look out of the covers and i'm still in the same shopping place as before only a fat woman is taking notes on me and demonstrating something to the public about me.. What a rude awakening! Angry i walk off and walk through the center to this back warehouse area, where stock is being held. On the way i stabilize while looking around me. I walk up to one silver trolley see that there are dogs obediently sitting on it, real dogs on each shelf. i stop to pat them and then walk off.
Some young people try to follow me, i find it annoying i just feel like being alone so i can think! I turn the corner and what a sight. A whole gymnasium size room filled with grunting, bulked up, dirty violent men fighting each other in no particular style except hostility.
ok, well all i want to do is get to a door on the end there, and the teens won't follow me in there. This situation shouldn't stop me from going where i want, its a dream after all, i can just become inconsistent (like i did in a dream before) if anything should hit me.. i make a dash for it and dodge 2 guy's wrestling, then Boom! Someone just hit me with a large medicine ball. Wow it was so heavy! i got slammed against the wall. Slam! again and again he hits me with medicine balls and laughs. I'm on the ground now blocking the very forceful hits with my knees in the air and my arms crossed over my face as he keeps hitting faster so that i have no chance to get up. I take one more hit while i gather my strength and BAM! i push the forceful medicine ball aimed right back in his face (i surprise even myself). He drops and the entire room freezes. They seem surprised that a little girl like me could use such strength and precision.. The entire room just stands there staring at me, baffled. An odd sight it is to see an entire gymnasium frozen still, but at least i feel safe now. As i excuse myself weaving between them towards the door i see that they are not violent, ugly, burly men, but actually just all of the kids from my high school. Standing frozen like 'sleep paralyzed' statues (is how i perceived them).. It felt nice to weave among them without them able to move. I spot Gerald (high school crush) on the way, i warmly smile at him as i pass, he smiles back.. I walk all the way to an opposite exit, but before i leave i turn back to look at them all. I sure want to write this dream down, so i pick up an old note book laying on the bench and proclaim it will be my new DJ. I rip a few old screwed up pages out and look up again. Gerald has somehow found a way to partially move while paralyzed. My attention perks up as i watch him move (transparent) energy around his body, allowing him to wiggle small limbs. I'm delighted. He tells me telepathically "just before when you smiled so peacefully, you looked like a Buddha" I thank him, and i'm so humbled as he sends the image he saw to me. I lean on the bench and happily watch him wiggle his energy and show me tricks he could do with it.
When this is done i decide to wake and write the lucid dream down.
but i don't actually wake up..
FA: I'm back at the shops where the bed and fat lady was. I decide i'll take a page from her note book so i can write my dream down. I feel the need to use the toilet so i go out of the glass doors into the court yard of a very clean modern buffet restaurant. This part gets so solidly vivid i don't even think i'm dreaming. I follow the signs to the female toilet doors, push and go in. The bathroom is very clean and modern; uniquely decorated with natural woods, straw and linen curtains divide each cubicle. i go find a nice private toilet at the back somewhere because i really gotta poop. I find one, i hate dream toilets, but it looks normal enough. I sit and poop and suddenly look up to see that the curtain to my left is pulled up. I can see a lady who came to do a poop too because she has very new mini laptop with her, plugged into the wall and all. "Whoah, the curtain is back, thats weird!" i say and she asks "oh did i frighten you?" , by now i'm trying to hint for her to go away "no, its just really freaky that the curtain is suddenly up like that.." by now i've noticed my toilet has filled up untill i feel the poop can't drop anymore.. i'm getting agitated. She wants to help me, i say "No! please just put down the curtain!" She sees i have a full toilet and tries to help me, i freak out and scream as i suddenly see poo on toilet paper. "Look what you've done!"
I wake for real realizing i had just attempted to write my dream down inside a dream...


Lucidity: 4/5
TIME DILATION yay!

I get picked up from somewhere in the suburbs by my dad. I notice that he is driving my car, and it feels strange, but so comfortable. Dad reaches a certain road and asks where to go next. I say straight. He asks if i'm sure, i think and say "yes. You are trying to go south aren't you?" Dad says yes and names the suburb he's aiming for. "Then go straight." i say to confirm my advice. ..
These streets and the directions are indeed correct IRL, but i can't recall what suburb dad mentioned..

I'm in a crowd of people at some party/gig. I spot my ideal guy. good looking, awesomely dressed (i think he's part of the band) and with black and red hair done up really well. I get excited and want to meet him, but before i do i look in my bag.. i feel kind of under dressed so i want to improvise to look better. I notice i don't have my make up with me or on my face so i dart into the toilets to put some make up on. I'm rushing to find a mirror but its dark, too dark to even tell where the toilets are (i hear one girl complaining about this).. this is odd.. I walk to the end of the L shaped bathrooms and then come back finding the mirror, but can't see anything. I turn around to see 2 girls running and squealing because of a floating mop chasing them. It is rather spooky but when the mop comes near me i slam it against the wall and it drops and becomes a regular mop again. The girls are gone and i'm a tad more lucid. Some surreal door opens up and lets light into the bathroom. I ignore whatever happens because i'm just glad i can see into the mirror now and do my make up. I try to do it as quickly as possible before that guy might leave the party. There have been enough delays already..
I'm pleasantly surprised to find a heap of different make up right there on the counter in front of me. Someone left it there? who cares i'm in a hurry. I smear foundation on, its an odd color, but then it blends to my face color. I put way too much so i have to spread it all over my face now (still in a hurry) a girl curiously watches me do this. Then its time for eye liner. I put some brown around my eyes.. grr, this is all taking too long! too slowly! since i need to concentrate on staying lucid at the same time! i need more time or the dream will mess up. Oh yeah! Time Dilation technique!
i waste no time and find a regular wall to put both my hands against. I press and ground myself feeling my weight under my feet. I begin to concentrate and count. 1...2...3... i begin to see small analog clocks in front of me with skewed numbers 4...5...6...7... i wonder if this is working.. i concentrate on those clocks as well as the dream.. 8...9...10! wow the dream feels so stable, i'm surprised i managed up to 10! i feel like i could keep counting, but i'll see if this works for now.
I go back to the mirror and spend (what feels like) another hour on my make up. People keep trying to distract me and another surreal door to daylight opens up behind me, people go in and out. I get frustrated and give up make up for now..
I go back out to the party feeling incomplete, people are still partying and i see some girl fans (of my guy) go down some stairs to where he might be. I follow them, but he's not there. I follow some other stairs back up and there are more people there partying. I feel insecure about my appearance but still put up a good face. I see a guy with stylish black hair in the crowd but he's not who i'm looking for. I'm desperate to do something dreamlike, i jump into the air to fly, but only manage to do some frog leaps about a meter above the ground. Firstly i'm extremely surprised i can't fly (my best dream talent) and secondly i look so stupid doing frog swimming in the air that the guy scoffs at me and i feel so embarrassed. I just want to duck into a toilet now..
I walk to where the toilets appear to be.. i see the M on one door so here must be the F... i almost walk in when i find that its another male toilet! Some biker guy comes out pushing me out of the way and laughing. I retreat and look for the female bathrooms. 2 biker guy's are following me now, they even follow me into the female toilets! Surprisingly there is a false female toilet door which is meant for guy's who want to try out what its like to be in a girls toilet (i don't know whether i just know this or whether it was written on the door). They follow me in and push me so hard that i fly into a toilet door. OW it really hurt. They are so violent, they shove me into the cubicle and plot amongst themselves what they should do next. I use the few seconds i have to lucidly jump over 2-5 more cubicles and into safety. I shout a warning to other girls in the bathrooms "Dangerous men are in the toilets!" and the girls in there simply giggle and laugh at this. I shout again the same thing... these girls just aren't taking this seriously.
I come out of the toilet cubicle to see why and realize i'm in the real female toilets (magically hidden from the men somehow). I walk towards a mirror and complain "oh i can't see myself in the mirror" which re-activates my lucidity. I experience what its like to look right at where i should be in the mirror and not be there. I walk closer and closer, to about a foot away and finally i can see myself. My skin is so smooth from that make up before, i touch my skin. But no wonder those men bullied me, i look like a boy! i quickly unclip my hair and put my fringe/bangs down over my face. Thats much better, look much more feminine now, my skin looks good but i still lack mascara. "Does anyone have any mascara i can borrow?" i ask, not actually expecting anyone to have some. No answer.. So i gather up the courage again to go out into the party. I mean i look much nicer now.. I go out into some tiled party room with lots of Asian party people and some balloons on the wall. I notice, wow, i feel sooo tired.. but i must keep going... tired? why? must be the time dilation catching up to me, i feel can definitely keep the dream going for much longer, but its making me feel so so tired inside a dream!.. i walk a bit further.. i must find my guy, my perfect guy, he must be here if i keep looking.. not in this room maybe the next, but as i go towards it i feel so sleepy i just stop and look up at the wall. There is a red and black shiny leather belt-like costume thing hanging there among other costume pieces. It reminds me of him so much (something he would wear) that i just stand there and get emotional.. yearning for him via this red'n'black object, but no energy to go further. I wonder, maybe i can just lay down for a minute and then get back to my mission, i fall on the floor and realize i had just fainted in front of everyone. They just stare for a moment curious.. they see my eyes are not blinking, then they try to help. As one of them tries CPR I feel i'm falling asleep.. no i don't want to.. but my eyes are closing. Last thing i see is one doctor-looking Asian guy pushing my chest to revive me. It only makes me sleepier and i finally 'Die'..
i wake up feeling super duper relaxed i just dont feel like getting up, too good.. when i get up i get a headache. It stayed with me all day, but actually i think it was due to me not wearing a hat in the freezing cold winter wind yesterday.


Note: THANK YOU WALMS, RAVEN KNIGHT AND MOSh FOR DESCRIBING HOW YOUR (and Allure's) TIME DILATION TECHNIQUES WORK IN YOUR JOURNALS    

[Man of Shred]

you combined the technigues... how cool. That sucks you kept getting sleepy at the end... how long did the dream seem to you?

[miss_maya]

you combined the technigues... how cool. That sucks you kept getting sleepy at the end... how long did the dream seem to you?

hehe yeh, the clocks just appeared on their own, but i didn't focus on them much.
I was asleep between 7am and 8am. However the dream felt like 2 hours or more. That extra hour right after dilation, i remember it in something like fast forward now..

COOL WATER

Early dreams were flighty non-lucids involving a lot of flying, roaming about from place to place, stuff happening here and there with very little overall stress.. There was one segment i really liked:

I come and sit on a mattress-like platform, but when i sit down on it everything becomes dark.. i can still feel everything, i touch the mattress/platform and i suspect that beyond it might be water. i reach down and feel that there is cool water there. I swish my hand around in the water and then start paddling the mattress/raft along the water with my hand in the peaceful darkness. Felt nice.
 

Lucidity: 4/5
DRIVE ME LUCID

I'm laying (on my side) in bed with my eyes closed. I sense someone is standing in front of me. Its strange because they just stand there quietly.. i can sort of make out their aura outline though my eyelids. Thats odd. I open my eyes, i'm so sleepy, but i see a woman in a dark orange top just standing there watching me intently like a ghost. I think she is a ghost.. oh but i'm so sleepy "sorry lady" i think "i'm too tired right now.." my eyes slowly close and i dose off.

I'm riding in the back seat of a car. Trevor's mother is driving with his dad in the passenger seat and as she turns the car, it swerves too far and she has to compensate to get back into the lanes. She tells us some silly excuse and i think this is odd enough to RC. I put up my hands and pull my finger. OH MY its so solid and hurts when i pull it. I keep on trying till it hurts. I feel my hands and i can feel everything just like in real life from the skin to the bones, gosh these are my real hands! Every finger is there. I look up again, this time a person is sitting in the drivers lap. Oh weird. I'm definitely dreaming, i mean just a moment ago i was having that 'Ghost lady' dream! Well, the first thing i really want to do since this is so vivid is to get out of the car and take a deep breath of lucid fresh air, but how do i stop the car? (Truly doubting any lucid powers would work) ..If i ask them to stop, they will come up with typical DC answers and probably end up frustrating me into non-lucidity. Guess i'll wait till they park somewhere.. then i'll get out and proceed with my lucid dream (i also instinctively know it would be painful/silly to jump out of a moving car just like RL).
Sigh.. i look out the window, everything looks real including the space between the car and the buildings. I look out the front window; Real, proportional, absolutely stable! I can feel, smell, touch everything just like reality. I put both my hands on the car seat in front of me. OMG it feels so solid i can feel every thread and fluff. I sit back and touch the seat belt. I can't even stretch it or manipulate it. This is the most real/vivid/solid dream i've had in my life! but when will they pull over?? I must stay lucid until then. Finally they pull into the car park of a Fishing shop. As the car turns into the drive way i look for the door lock (it's an old car i've never been in so i need to work out how it works) i pull the latch to unlock. I also feel down to un-click the seat belt so i can jump out as soon as the car stops. They turn into a car spot, and i open the door (its a white car), when suddenly they decide to roll up further since the spot in front is free (and its easier to get out later). I say "WHoah hey guy's i have the door open!" they kick up a fuss about it and i become heavily involved in this discussion while getting out of the car.. i totally forget to take a deep breath of lucid fresh air...



Just occurred to me i could have time dilated.. but there are many things i could have done! oh well learned lesson for next time.. (hope there is a next time)

Notes: Hi everyone! i was at a small apartment party last night and we smoked sheesha and weed (a once every few years occurrence for me). When i got back i had a long non-lucid sleep. Woke up at 2pm and confirmed that weed is probably not good for lucidity after all (not that i thought it might be). Then i fell asleep again, had the super vivid lucid and woke up around 4pm. My guess is that by this time it was a REM rebound. Despite the vividness of this dream being #1 top vivid in my life now, i still do not recommend smoking weed in relation to lucid training. I firmly believe that full lucidity can totally be achieved by natural means, and that smoking weed regularly will give you bad health, and mental problems in the long run.

[pj]

Wow. . . so much going on for you this past week!

If you're going to try suicide, a lucid dream is the perfect place for it.

[miss_maya]

Wow. . . so much going on for you this past week!

maybe its the berries! hehe.
http://mortalmist.com/forum/lucid-aids/berries-at-wbtb/?topicseen
and probably the doubled efforts on RC's.
http://mortalmist.com/forum/awake-journals-%28members-only-access%29/maya%27s-reality-checks/msg86251/#msg86251

If you're going to try suicide, a lucid dream is the perfect place for it.

Haven't felt the urge again since then. There may have been something canceling out my meds that night, or maybe i forgot them.
The dream seemed to heal me somehow.

[miss_maya]

Date: 9th July 2010 (the day after TIME DILATION dream)
Lucidity: 3/5

I HATE TOILETS 4 EVAR!!!

I'm with Brian, he's showing me some kind of candles that play music. I begin to feel nauseous and looking at them makes me feel worse. I've got "throw up" in my notes but don't remember this part now. I'm sad and i want him to stay, but he has to go..

I'm on a street at night with Trey and i remember that i've got dream missions. Time dilation and the monthly challenges. I decide to borrow the shop/office right in front of me to perform my missions (needing a wall to time dilate and perhaps i'll find food). "C'mon Trey" i say, and walk into the office ignoring any DC's and check the small fridge there. As i open the fridge door, i suddenly really need to pee. Annoyed that i have to come back to my task later, i go to the back toilet. Its clean and i sit. while i pee i put my hand on the black wall tiles beside me and begin to count for time dilation. However i keep slipping and keep having to start over.. The dream slips away..
I'm sitting on the side of a road, quite pissed off (because of the failure just now to complete my missions..). There is a break in the traffic where the cars stop coming. I throw a square rock onto the empty road, it bounces 3 times.


Dreamsigns: and possible solutions
- Brian - i rarely see him or even hang out, so should RC
- Sad feeling/Pissed off - need to remember to RC anything which effects me emotionally.
- Need to pee - Either ignore it and keep doing dream task, Or try to overcome it somehow. Maybe call a guide for help? anyone have any ideas???
Time Dilation: I forgot that Time Dilation can be done by touching the ground. I'll try to remember this next time because the ground is much easier to find than a wall. lol.

[DrTechnical]

I'm always amazed when people decide to give into the need to pee during a lucid. This notion frightens me. I would hate to wake up in the middle of it and send the wrong message to my myself.

Yeah, I would try to ignore this distractionary problem going forward.

[miss_maya]

I'm always amazed when people decide to give into the need to pee during a lucid. This notion frightens me. I would hate to wake up in the middle of it and send the wrong message to my myself.

Yeah, I would try to ignore this distractionary problem going forward.

Depends what level lucid, this one wasn't high, so wasn't connected to my body at all. When its more vivid, its usually easier to wake myself up.. However then i lose a lucid. 

So i had a long ponder about this issue and decided i will try to complete at least one simple mission before i give in to this need next time.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity: 3/5
WORLD CLASSES

I'm walking around a large furniture store not really paying much attention to stuff until i notice an interesting designer table and a vase. It has pretty objects embedded inside the clear plastic, i stare with fascination. Then i walk with Trey. He tells me he's not interested in me anymore (bored of me) and i become upset.. maybe i walk off, distract myself or something, can't remember but it doesn't feel like he went away anywhere.

I 'arrive' (suddenly become aware) at an out door event full of Chinese people. They walk in large groups from here to there, i look at their outfits, some kind of traditional festival costumes.

Most children and some grown ups wear pig noses and big pink pig ears, like something out of folk lore. i try to walk towards them but somehow the groups are evasive, so i stop RC and transform my clothes to look more like theirs (not even sure how i did this) and then pull at the tops of my ears so that they stretch into pointy pig ears! now i fit in with whatever they seem to be celebrating.

i follow the random groups and walk around behind them. Soon we are going into buildings with escalators. i follow them up and down, not much is going on.. just walking.
Soon they begin to look more like regular students i keep going up and down escalators.. i become bored, but suddenly, as though the lunch bell had just rung, everyone goes into their classes. I sort of follow them, seem to be able to see inside more than one class at one time.. The class i happen to actually walk into has a sign on the wall saying "Russia" other classes have signs saying the name of their country as well. I realize whats going on and wonder where my class could be. I begin to go in and out of classes searching for a sign saying "Poland" but can't seem to find it. Sometimes going through walls makes things muddle a bit, but i keep looking. I see a separate class room that is in the shape of a small resort. It has a sign saying "Resort life" and i sense there are people in there who apparently don't belong to any country, but belong in this life style. I wonder what it's like, but i need to keep looking for the Polish class room. I walk into a "Polynesian" class which is decorated in bright warm colors with lots of photos on the walls.
Walking in and out of classes just isn't getting anywhere.
I decide to jump onto a table and 'scan' for the place i'm looking for. My mind sees many moving walls and it's hard to concentrate somehow. I become frustrated and start pulling my finger saying "c'mon, this is a dream isn't it??". I hear a voice telling me "You need to be higher up to scan properly" and without questioning (because i totally agree) i jump through the roof onto a higher platform. I can't see anything except white walls but it's ok since visuals might interfere with my concentration on scanning.
I focus on finding "Polish" class and even before i get any result i open my eyes and see a navy blue sign right next to me saying "Poland" (it also says the name of my high school, but i ignore). Oh i'm here! i look around and there are Polish students in this class, a majority of the girls have blond hair.. I sit down at a table, i'm new in this class and hope to be friends with these girls. At lunch time i somehow end up sitting with them. We all sit together inside an emptied out blue car, with a flat carpet floor. Its like their hang out, we get to know each other. I can see other kids out side the car walking around. One boy comes up to the car to speak to one of the girls about something then goes on his way. This suddenly gives me an urge to find out if i can control any of these dream people. My intention is to see if i can attract any interesting people to the car. I concentrate on this intention. It feels like i've switched my aura on 'attract/magnet mode' because some of the DC's outside seem to curve their walking path towards the car. Then one gets pulled in. A boy walks up to the car to speak to us. I continue 'pulling' and suddenly he accidentally drops giant colorful heart-shaped M'n'M's on us. The girls are pleasantly surprised and the boy says we can have them. They look yummy, i take one too. It tastes just like a giant M'n'M. We all sit around eating them. Don't know where the boy went. One girl now seems to be eating a regular block of chocolate. Then it turns into that 'soft melty chocolate', like the ones my grandmother used to always have in her fridge in Poland. I ask her for one and bite into the soft creamy chocolate mmmm such tasty nostalgia..
Soon the girls want to go for a walk. i follow them to some shops, but i'm not really interested in what they like. I separate, walking into an 'accessories' store. I see belts hanging on racks. I walk up to a mirror and look at myself. I wish i had a more feminine build. My Hospitality teacher Sam (a rather pretty lady) is there and i tell her "I want to have a figure like yours.." and i take her by the shoulder pulling her next to me so i can compare our body shapes. I know i shouldn't be comparing.. She takes me aside saying "i used to be just like you before i got a labolomy done.. no not a 'lobotomy'.. a labolomy, its a cosmetic procedure.." supposedly it's some surgery which slims out your bone structure.. i begin to daydream about various cosmetic procedures i've always wanted till i wake up.

I'm curious to know who that helping 'voice' could have been. It felt like apart of me, but could have also been a separate mind. I might telepathically ask next time for them to appear. Maybe i can have a Dream Guide too!