Mortal Mist

 This is a repeat dream. There are sometimes variations, but most of the details are always exactly the same.

 I am living in a very tall house; it's almost like a tower. I spend most of the time in the upper floors. The lower floors are more chaotic; there is a feeling of madness about them. They do not seem to be three dimensional, and there are indescribable sounds coming from them. It seems to get worse farther down; in any case I've never been beyond two or three of these floors.

 One thing in common with all of these repeat dreams involves my senses (although this sometimes happens in new dreams.) For one thing, I seem to have synesthesia. (I do not while I'm awake.) The sounds that I hear in the lower rooms are not really sounds. They occur when and only when I am looking at an `object.' Because they are not ordinary three-dimensional, physical objects, they are extremely confusing to look at for any length of time, and I perceive them as (not much less confusing) sounds. If I close my eyes, or look away, the sounds stop. The middle-higher floors have less confusing objects, but they still seem to kind of weave in and out of their forms. The sight of them produces strange, but rather soothing sounds. In the middle floors, some of the `monster' objects protrude through the floor, so I can still see them, but they sound quieter.

 Some of the objects are like this: Imagine taking a room, with it's objects, turning it inside out, and wrapping it around a sphere. Pull some of the parts out, push other parts in, twisting them so that they kind of form a vortex into themselves. Then imagine that this whole thing is alive--it has a definite personality, and is attempting to communicate. It changes colors to speak, and becomes angry when it is ignored.

 Other objects look more normal. For example an old wooden chair, but one of the arms will dissolve, float off, become a sound, slam into the wall, reform back at it's original location as the wrong object, for example a metal beam, then slowly turn into an arm again.

 Also, I seem to have senses that have no physical counterpart, and these also get involved in the synesthesia. This is pretty much impossible to explain, because there is nothing to compare it to. All of the physical senses are responses to phenomenon that are electrical in nature; there is some other `fundamental force' here. I believe it is this force which keeps the objects with more `chaotic energy' on the lower floors, or perhaps they are more chaotic because of it. I think chaos is not the right word here either, because there is a strange feeling of order.

 In any case, I have not spent much time on these lower floors, because the lower I go, the more I lose the distinction between my self and the `place.' It is not fear, but there is less `I' that is conscious, to even look at anything.

 The upper floors are very pleasant and relaxing. I often sleep in a bed in the attic, which is basically like a normal attic, but with nice big windows and fine furnishings. There I have dreams within dreams, when I awake, I wake up there. These dreams I can not remember.

 This house is always exactly the same, but what I do on the lower floors varies. But I always go to the attic and I always sleep there. Sometimes I read, or just sit and think. I do not remember what books or what thoughts.

 This, however, always happens. Outside of the attic's window, on the ground is a road. Across from the road is a meadow, beyond which is a forest. Walking along the road are dinosaurs and strange, very colorful birds. About once a minute, a vehicle (not a modern car, more `futuristic,' but it moves like and about the speed of a car. There are passengers of some sort inside.) comes down the road, and the birds jump out of the way into the meadow. The dinosaurs are slow to respond, and usually, one of them gets hit. This causes no damage to the vehicle. The dinosaur will appear to be fine, but then a bulldozer will come, pick up the dinosaur (still standing), and dump it into the meadow, where it flops over dead. The other dinosaurs do not seem to react to all of this. The sizes of the bulldozer and the dinosaurs are normal, but the dinosaur seems to get smaller when it is being picked up. The dinosaurs are about 80% brontosaurus, the rest smaller and varied types. Some of the birds will eat the dinosaur corpse. No matter how many dinosaurs die, they do not seem to diminish in number. There is probably 50-100 of them, with 2-3 birds to each one.

 I feel very bad for the dinosaurs. I have tried jumping out of the window to help, but none of the animals (or the vehicles) seem to notice that I am there at all. If I yell from the window, some of them will look up, but little else.

 Thanks for the reply, Serith. That's a great idea, checking for a secret door. The problem is I can't have proper lucid dreams yet. All of the events unfold, and I feel I am consciously making decisions, but I can't really change the `plot' of the dream, or I don't realize it's a dream to begin with. When I am able, I will definitely try your suggestion. By the way, I looked at your dream journal and all I can say is WOW. The idea of drawing your dreams, and the drawings themselves, are very, very cool.

 I feel like I'm gonna go crazy if I keep thinking about this. I had at least two repeat dreams last night, but I can't remember them. I know they were repeats, because I wake up and think `Oh, that again,' and it's all crystal-clear in my mind, for about 3 seconds. then I completely forget everything. The `feeling' of it lingers on, nagging me all day, like a song that you've forgotten how it goes. After the second time, I was determined not to let it happen again, but then I had a new dream, of which I recall fairly little also.

 My grandmother's brother keeps dying. And coming back to life. He's quite senile, and he doesn't realize he's dead. He has moments of clarity and speaks profound wisdom, of which I remember nothing. This goes on for a long time. His eyes seem to be glowing red.

I vaguely recall trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle, the pieces of which are random, non jigsaw-piece-like objects, like branches, pliers, and coffee-make parts.

 I have a seemingly endless sequence of false awakenings, all very mundane. Each time I wake up in a different mood. I really woke up with the damned `repeat dreams stuck in my head.'

Probably it's easier to just remember, "next time I'm in that building, I'll look for a secret way above the attic" then to actually become lucid.  If it does become more and more orderly as you go up just like it becomes more chaotic as you go down, then it'd probably also make you more aware as you go up just like you become less aware as you go down.   I suspect that effect would actually cause lucidity.

 That's very insightful, and it's certainly something I will try. My objectiveness is definitely proportional to the height of the floors, and it makes sense that the floors just a little higher would have the effect of causing lucidity, since it seems so close to it already in the attic. I actually feel extremely `aware' on the lower floors, but I am not able to make sense of the situation; I can not distinguish between myself and the surroundings, my perception seems kind of backwards.

... I really wish more people would draw their dreams...

 I actually tried to draw this attic with the gimp last night. I gave up in about 10 minutes. I used to draw reasonably well on paper, but I can't even draw a circle with a mouse. I don't have a tablet. Maybe one day I'll try scanning something...

It does always seem that way, that you can never remember the profound wisdom that DCs sometimes seem to speak, or you remember it as nonsense.  Does anyone remember hearing any accounts of anyone actually learning something amazing from a DC?

 Maybe it's some kind of `subconscious wisdom' that can't quite be put into words. On the other hand, maybe it is complete nonsense. Strange what a revelation it seems like at the time, though.

 I have discovered that if I have a really nice meditation before going to sleep, I have very little dreams for several hours afterwards. There is definitely a pattern here. I did have a dream early this morning, however, which may or may not be directly inspired by a dream I read in Toast's DJ, about the Asian girl who invented a wonderful new mathematics:

 I had discovered an amazing new law of physics which simplified physical calculations enormously. It was some kind of conservation law of a new abstract quantity similar to energy. I spent the majority of the dream testing my theory in various situations, from mundane objects such as falling trees, to sub-nuclear interactions within living brains (makes a lot of sense,) to the origin of the big bang. I discovered that everything is fundamentally impossible, and realizing that this would also include my theory, became disenchanted and walked through a mirror into another universe, never to return.

 I woke up, fell back asleep, and had this same dream again. (I guess that means I'm back in the original universe. ) I've never had it before.

... Wow.

Recurring dreams seem to happen a lot for you... I wonder why that could be, since I absolutely never have a dream that I've had before.

Thanks . I wonder why too, that's why I'm here. I remember having some of them at least 15 years ago, probably several time per year. Most of them are quite enjoyable, so maybe I just want to `see it again,' like an old movie? But I can't seem to ever dream about what I want to, to find out more about it. That's why I want to be lucid in them.

 This is not exactly a repeat, but the location is. There are some repeating dreams in my dad's store, and some in my mom's store. Neither of them have really ever owned any kind of store. I'm in my mom's store. Strangely, she is never there, but it is her store. It is like a supermarket, but all of the food is for animals, and the aisles are extremely close together. I'm driving through the aisle on some kind of cart, holding a broken vacuum cleaner handle and looking for something to fix it with. Some bird seed falls onto the handle, thereby rendering it irreparable, and I throw it up into the air. The handle shorts out the lights, and I then realize that I really needed some pet food, and I shouldn't have wasted time with the vacuum cleaner. I can't see anything, so I go into the basement to check the fuses. (I know how to find the basement because I've been here before.)

 Suddenly I'm outside and running up into the air. (I have had very few dreams in which I'm flying by my own power. I always need some kind of machine. But if I run very fast I start running up into the air, and I can stay up for 20-30 s.) I land on the roof of the store, and confused, I jump down into the parking lot to try again. But when I turn around there is a different store there, the mall. I've had some very strange dreams about the mall, and for some reason I was afraid to go in. I woke up.

 I haven't dreamed about the mall for a while, and the details are sketchy to me right now. Since I've started this journal, I've been thinking a lot about these repeat dreams and locations. They are all kind of like old memories in the back of my mind, and it feels like they are all sort of active, or becoming active, like some part of my brain is thinking about them all of the time. It's a very hard thing to describe. Since I would like to have these dreams whilst lucid, I am going to add here some thought, key-words, etc. as I remember them, even if it's been a while since I've had a particular dream. I don't expect this will make much sense to anyone.

 (mall, really, really long room, north exit=south exit, disturbing)
 (farm road, damn tall grass, path, flying on ground, friendly people, king)
 (rolling down hill, junk, palace, statue heads, airplane)
 (bombed basement, evil, shiny, shower, rust, lovecraft-like)
 (island under bermuda triangle, tests, display cases, secrets, team)
 (subterranean, beautiful girl, mirror, hand)
 (highway to grandma's, repeat, neighborhood)
 (death, space, music)
 (dad store, hardware, serial killer, long pipes)
 (house, water, cabin, connected)
 (here)

 I am over my friend George's house. We are smoking weed and drinking beers. (Strangely, I was friends with George when I was 10-12 years old, and certainly neither I nor George ever did so (then.)) George's kid brother shows up with some of his friends; they would like some of our `stuff.' There is something disturbing about these kids. At first, they seem like normal kids, but there is something about them that makes them seem much older. They also seem quite pushy and sarcastic, and too `wise' for their age.
 For some reason George leaves, and the kids start to make themselves right at home. They each grab a few beers and take a large portion of the weed. I protest, but they get very angry and suddenly seem very powerful. They seem to be talking and laughing about some plan to destroy something. Disgusted, I grab as much stuff as I can and begin to leave.
 I remember that there is a stray cat that I have been feeding, and lately I've been worried that something will happen to him, so I decide to go find him and bring him to the vet to get checked, with the intention of bringing him in. As I am leaving, one of the kids lets out a very evil laugh, and says ``Looking for something?'' When I turn around, then kids look somehow different. They appear now more as midgets or something, they are still small, but there faces are more adult like. There is something very disturbing about the structure of their faces, but I didn't think much of it at the time. They make it known that they have the cat, and I sense that they mean to kill it. They seem to have already finished their beers and weed, and want mine. They tell me to relax, and that we will discuss the terms for freeing the cat.
 Reluctantly, I agree and give them my stuff. However, they insist that I join them, so I sit down and open a beer. They are passing a joint around, and they have food that they keep pushing through the walls to something. I think they are feeding the cat, but they will not tell me. They start putting some black stuff into my beer, right in front of me, and insist that I drink it. At this point they are very scary. They seem to each know the others thoughts.
 We are on some kind of coaster going through a tunnel, at the end of which is a movie screen. It is showing `Lost;' Locke and Kate are on the screen. I remark that I like Lost,  but one of the kids scoffs and says Lost sucks. Some other show comes on and that kid says ``This is how it is.'' I can't remember it...
 I offer a bet of $20 that if I find the cat by myself, they agree not to harm me or him and drive us home. Otherwise, they return the cat and take the $20, and I walk home. For some reason they accept this, and I leave the room.
 The rest of the house seems rather hastily constructed. I get the feeling that it is like a clubhouse, built to look like a normal house. I begin to search the rooms. In about every other room, I find a cat that is similar looking to mine. I decide the cat is not in the house, and begin walking down a short dirt road. The road has a few similar looking cats also, but they seem to be in poorer condition as I walk.
 At the end of the road is something like a boardwalk. It is similar to the the ones on the Jersey shore, but somewhat more of an old carnival-like atmosphere. There are a lot of freaks walking around. There is a big, old, decrepit looking house there. I feel the cat may be in there, so I go in.
 The inside of this house is a repeat, but not the following events. None of the walls are vertical. It is dark except for dim, different colored lights coming from each of the rooms. Everything is thin and fragile. Everything seems covered in a greasy film, like the kitchen in a fast-food restaurant. There are drains on the floor along the walls, like you usually see in the street. I have described how I have synesthesia in a previous dream. Here, however, this effect seems built into the house. It is not me that percieves in this way, it is like a `haunted house ride,' or something, where the house is built to give this effect. For example, touching the walls will make them appear to crumble and dissolve, and an unbearably bright light will emanate from them, but the light produces a sound, which tilts the house, and some slime then pours from the drains. Quietness is perceived as demons, or something, and this is very dangerous. For this reason, it is advised to hum constantly here. The humming produces heat, and a sound which always seems to come from very far ahead of you. There are bits of shiny metal here and there, from which comes drafts. There is graffiti on some walls and doors, which are physically painful but produce odd music.
 The following is not a repeat. There are in some halls, or in front of some doors, horribly diseased and starving looking cats. There is a sad, unhealthy looking black prostitute that walks past. A very nervous looking Chinese guy runs past humming as loud as he can. In one room I see two people who look perfectly happy. One is standing, the other is reclined on a wooden chair with feet on a table. I know that I know them, but could not remember how (even in the dream.) I see, in the corner by one of the drains, what appears to be a rectangular piece of an old, rotten honeycomb. When I take a closer look, I see next to it something which made me feel suddenly frozen solid. There was another cat-creature, but instead of the lower half of it's body and legs, it had tentacles and some stuff that looks like certain plants from the ocean floor. It was moving sideways on these like a millipede or something.
 Suddenly I am outside in a parking lot with my cat, and my car is there. I realize that I am quite intoxicated, but I decide I really need to go home anyway. I'm putting all of these random things in the car. I put the cat in and as I am about to start the ignition, several cops show up. They insist I take a breathalizer. (I have never really had a dwi, or anything.) Drunk off my ass though I obviously am, the test gives a negative result. The cops get angry, thinking I am somehow blocking the test. They call for backup, in the meantime one cop takes out silver metal cylinder which I know is 3 ft long and 6 in in diameter, but he drops it and it rolls to me. I take the cylinder and place it gently at the cops feet, to show him I do not mean to attack him with it. But he gets very angry anyway, and is about to put me in the cop car when the backup arrives. one of them has a cardboard box from which he produces what looks like headphones. He approaches me to put them on, explaining that this test will not fail.
 Suddenly this white powder starts to fall everywhere, making a strange searing sound. The cops start to panic and run away. I run up a hill. Everything is being covered by the powder; everything is becoming painfully shiny and white. On top of the hill I can see people running back and forth. Suddenly the white is stained by splotches of red everywhere. There are ungodly screams and terror. Everyone's head is exploding! Everyone is dead!
 Before me appears this thing that looks like one of those timers from a game show. It says, ``% of oxygen you have left'' and below the timer is clicking down from 100. I'm running as fast as I can towards this road. When the timer reaches 37%, the kids show up again. This time they don't look human at all. They have very small eyes and fish-like faces. There faces seem as if they are made of some white cloth. The bottom of their faces are shaped like triangular beards, with pointed corners, but the shape is part of the face. They give me a tube that has unlimited oxygen in it. Everyone else that I can see is dead, except the cat, which one of them has. They say that not everyone is dead, but mostly. Then one of the says ``You know you're dreaming, right? You should remember it.''
 I woke up. I immediately felt disappointed that I did not find out who they really were. But then I realized just how much of this I remembered, and that I was told it was a dream. I've never had such good recall of a non-repeating dream, and it seems I'm getting closer to being lucid. The strange thing is that I wrote down keywords and stuff this morning, almost 18 hrs ago, and I can still `see' everything now as if I had just woken up. This DJ stuff must be working.

 Just a series of very short dreams last night. I can recall four of them, in fair detail.
 I am walking through the woods. There are little woodland creatures all about engaged in some kind of plan. They are all talking to each other, and small groups of them seem to be arguing with other groups. None of them seem to notice me. It is alternating night and day very rapidly. They all run into trees, bushes, etc. at night and continue their activities at daybreak. When the night of the full moon comes, they go wild and they all start running around in a large circle. I here a large, collective maniacal scream from them and they all disappear.
 I am playing tennis against an unknown opponent. I am using various small animals (birds, chipmunks, squirrels, etc.) instead of a ball. But they do not seem to mind this; they seem to think it's fun or something. (I neither play tennis nor torment small animals...) My mother and her mother come by and yell at me for doing this, but I say ``They don't mind it.''; they say ``Oh. OK.'' and leave.
 I am launching small animals out of these little water rocket kits. In particular, it looks like a small missile base (I had this toy as a kid.) Again, the animals seem to want me to do this, and they travel in a hyperbolic trajectory, curve upward, seemingly unaffected by gravity or air resistance. They seem to leave the atmosphere.

 I am going around and around this path through the woods. This particular path has occurred many times in my dreams, but there are always a few new or different locations along the way.
 (There used to be a small woods near my first home. When I was around 10, my family moved and there was a much larger woods even closer. The woods in the dreams seems to be a combination of the two. I used to walk a lot through them and daydream, amongst other things. In many dreams I travel to different locations via these woods. There doesn't seem to be any particular distinguishing feature of the woods, aside from a very mysterious boulder, but they have a strong sense of familiarity about them; they are like a known location between unknowns. I know little about the boulder. I never seem to go too close to it; this is something I would like to try if I am lucid here. I am not afraid of the boulder, but there seems to be a repelling force surrounding it.)
 This time there is a short path leading to a broken down farm house that seems to be constructed entirely of aluminum. There are various farm-like things; tractor, rake, hoe, fences, pens, etc., all seemingly make of aluminum also. It sounds like someone is dragging aluminum cans around, dropping aluminum sheets, shaking them to produce thunder like sounds, etc. But there is no one here, except for two very fat cats, laying at the edge of the property. (Why am I always dreaming about cats?  ) I pick them up, one over each shoulder, and knock on the door with my foot. An old woman answers and says something like ``Oh my, what nice Vizslas! Let me have them!'' (A Vizsla is a type of dog.) I even realize this in the dream, but I give them to the woman, shrug, and walk away.
 Continuing on the path, I run into a very nice old couple. They appear to be lost. I suddenly realize that I am on some type of vehicle that is hovering a few feet above the ground, so I offer them a ride. They don't know where they're supposed to be, but they seem so nice that I offer to keep driving them around until we find it. After going around the same path a few times, they say ``Oh, here it is,'' exactly where we started. They walk off into the woods somewhere.
 I'm on foot again, and I come to a pleasant, crystal-clear stream. I decide to relax here, and when I sit on the ground a large number of dogs appear. There is a small rocky hill going up from the stream, and more dogs are coming from over it. The are jumping in and out of the stream, swimming, playing, etc. They are all friendly. One of my dogs (not a Vizsla) comes down the hill, comes up to me for a pat on the head, and jumps into the stream. Then he dives under the water, and it seems like he is down there too long. I am getting concerned, so I jump in after him, but the clear water seems very cloudy below the surface. I find him after not too long a time; he is swimming around like a fish. He seems able to breath underwater, and I realize I can too. After goofing around for awhile, he gets `serious' and appears to be looking for something along the bottom. I follow him for awhile. There are some kind of treasures or artifacts on the bottom, I have a strong sense there is something very ancient and powerful about them, but it seems like he is looking for something in particular. Suddenly we are both floating on the surface. We get back on the path.
 Much of the `time' in this dream was spent just going around and around the path, to no seeming purpose, until one of the above would happen.

Hmm, breathing underwater is one thing I've never done in a dream, consciously. There's so much I want to do in my next lucid :/

Sometimes I can do it, sometimes not. Sometimes I don't realize I'm supposed to. There seems to be no logic to it.

Huh, that's interesting. Normally dreams (at least my ones), don't often have an inactive moment in them. Something's always happening. That could be just because I only remember the bits where things happen

There is something happening, i.e., going around in a circle. I've had dreams where nothing external is happening for awhile, but there is something psychological going on, or I'm waiting for something, etc. Sometimes I dream that I'm trying to fall asleep! Sometimes this is boring, but it can be quite intense (suspense building up, the `It's too quiet' feeling, etc.)

 I am in the neighborhood where my grandmother used to live, and I'm walking around with a large crowd of black people. Everyone in this dream is black. We're just walking up and down the few blocks that I remember. Nothing is really going on, but everyone (myself included) seem to be a little older each time around. (When it starts I am maybe 7-9 yrs old.) No one seems to mention that I am not black, but I don't know if I am in the dream. (Though I've never felt as though I was anything other than myself in a dream.) It seems to be important that we don't stop walking. Also, some of the people seem to be dressed from different time periods, and some talk in a language I've never heard before. I am fascinated by this language, and someone says that I will learn it. A group of people that appear to be Hispanic arrive, at which point the dream ends.

 There was a short dream with more silliness involving cats.  It seems there is catnip growing in the yard there are a lot of buzzed cats all over the place.

 I woke up a few times this morning, and there were dreams between, but I remember none of them. Every time I tried to recall them I would just remember the two above.

 I think I'm in the gym of my old middle-school. Everyone appears to have been severely burned, to the point that parts of them are turning to ash. There is ash all over the floor. Everyone seems to have something like their astral bodies rising halfway out of them; these emit a peculiar, throbbing light. There is a constant grating sound, like someone dragging a large piece of metal on concrete. Everyone is smiling, laughing, playing some game. There is this kind of `negative' object (about 2 feet in diameter and seemingly spherical, but everywhere concave) being used as a ball. It seems to be pulling the astral bodies slowly into it, but everyone is oblivious to this. There is some type of `inversion?' going on in the object, there are many shapes, reflections, a kind of swallowing in on itself. The object is getting brighter, but the room is getting darker.
---
 I am in a university. The only course here is dedicated to studying ``Goedel, Escher, Bach.'' I am fascinated by the subject, but it soon becomes apparent that the university is a cult. They are somehow using the ideas towards a purpose that I can't identify, but I feel that I must stop them at all costs. The `leaders' are vampire-like. They are able to possess some of the students. I don't remember what happens...
---
 I am at the dentist. The dentist is a very fat woman I don't trust for some reason. She is to drill one of my teeth. I insist that it be done with no painkiller, anaesthesia, etc. She is insistent that I ``should be put under.'' It seems she tricks me, and I am losing consciousness. I wake up (really) during this.

 I had a very cool experience with image streaming. In my dreams I revisited many of the places and things I saw in the `stream.' Not too many `events' happened, at least not new ones. It was mainly in the town I lived in when I was a little kid, and anything that happened in the dream had actually happened. The detail was absolutely incredible both in the stream and in the dreams. I had no idea I had such a good memory...
---
 The following were not part of the stream, but are new dreams. I am holding my mother's severed hand in a shoebox. (I still seem to be a kid.) She is naturally upset about this and demands to have it back. I give it back to her and tell her that I'm sorry, I was just playing tag and her hand came off when I grabbed it.
 I am at my cousins house. My cousin throws a live bird at me, which makes me very mad, so I climb onto the roof. The roof is shingled, by the layer is blowing and flapping around as if it were canvas. It is very windy. I am almost being blown off but I have to fix something about the roof. There is a surreal feeling about this.
 My aunt is sitting on the curb holding her ankle, which seems to be injured. (This particular aunt kind of `divorced' from the family and I haven't seen her in a very long time.) She is blaming people in the family about her ankle, and seems hurt that I didn't help her. (Even though I'm still a little kid.) She wants me to go get a bandage or something for her. She keeps saying ``Get it for me..''
 Back in my cousins house. The house here is perhaps 3 stories high, but there is a room that starts on the second floor, extends through the third floor, and seems to go as high as I can see. There is a giant kneeling down here; he is as tall as the room. There's not enough room for him to stand up. There are various things stacked up (boxes, chairs, couches, etc.) that I can climb to reach his head. Everyone is scared of the giant, but no one has ever talked to him or knows who he is. I feel very brave and climb up with the intention of killing the giant, but when I see his face he seems to be old and sad and I feel sorry for him. He said something deeply meaningful (of course I have no idea what) and I climb back down. My cousins make fun of me for being too scared to kill him, and one of them throws a bird at me again.

 (image streams)
 This wasn't as good as the first night. I was having trouble concentrating; my mind was kind of racing but I was very tired. Tropical storm Hanna was/is around here; the storm itself was very mild but it brought some really humid air.
 It started with an insect again. (It must be the crickets and stuff outside.) I followed it again, this time climbing a tree. I moved from the tree and was floating above the yard. I saw the rain flowing down the road, almost like a river. I became very small and was following a little paper boat down the side of the road. The boat reminded me of one I made in the local library as a kid. I loved this library. I remembered a great deal about it, sitting on the carpeted floor, pulling out a particular book about making musical instruments. Then I was in a different library. I was thinking how cool it would be to have enough time to read all of the books here.
 Suddenly I'm driving through the woods at night in a truck with a friend from some years ago. We're smoking some weed, which I can smell and taste very clearly. I even start to feel it a little bit. There are these metal things hanging from the mirror and I can see the glass in the windshield very clearly, reflecting trees, lights, etc. There's some music on the radio but I'm having some trouble hearing it.
 We go to this girl's house who my friend knows and he leaves with her; I am waiting at the house. I'm in the kitchen. I can't remember the whole kitchen, but I remember: a chair with a green-white checkerboard pattern cushion on it, a round table with beige wood pattern laminate, cracked in the middle, a large glass ashtray that has about 60,000 cigarette butts in it, and a round, white clock with black hands and roman numerals. The clock is very loud, I can clearly hear every tick, the plastic front of the clock rattles slightly, and there is a winding, gear sound. There is an overpowering, ominous feeling about someone coming through the door. The door is kind of hard to see.
 Now I go back in time again, I'm maybe 13-14; me, my friend and his brother, and our moms our at this large indoor flea market. I can see the floor very clearly. There is music (Janis Joplin) coming through some speakers in the ceiling. I go into a book store. I am looking at some occult and horror books. There is a comic-book store across the aisle, and next to that there is some kind of material/clothing/furniture. I am fascinated and scared by this one book which seems to keep changing.
 We walk past a stand selling hot pretzels, pizza, hot dogs, and soda. I can smell/taste this so clearly that my mouth (really) starts watering. At this point I notice I can also hear the music much clearer, and everything around looks more `in focus.' This only lasted for ~5 s, then I'm back in the bookstore. Then I'm back at the table in the kitchen again, then the library.
 I say this wasn't as good as the first night because things weren't quite so clear or vivid. Sometimes I wasn't actually `seeing' anything, it was more like a strong impression where certain details stood out. I did notice that the more I paid attention to a particular detail, and especially where I tried to involve all 5 senses, the clearer things would become.
 Also, the first night I was very relaxed and just felt good before I tried it. Last night, although I was very tired, I was not relaxed, and I was sticking to the chair from the humidity, for example. I do feel like I've learned something though.

(dreams)

 I can barely remember anything except the end of the last dream. I have this strange feeling of having been on a train all night. I've been on trains maybe twice in my whole life.
 The last part was very interesting. (I'd just made a comment in someone's DJ about reading in dreams before this.) There is a large white document on the table. It looks like a photocopy, except for some dates which are handwritten in pencil. It's a two column table; on the left are some small typed words that are part of the copy; I can make no sense of those. In the right column are the dates. They seem to be ordered, with later dates further down the table. I can not read the top half of the page. About in the middle is ``11/06/06.'' Almost next to it is ``10/10/08'' or ``10/01/08.'' Further down are ``00/00/68'' and ``00/00/73,'' where I am not sure about the zeroes. There is something telling me that it is very good that I am able to read the dates. (I wasn't quite aware that I was dreaming, but I had a strong feeling that these were not `normal circumstances.') I am looking closely at the strokes, lines making up each numeral. There is very clearly `3' here, `6' there, etc. I am trying to make the determination that I am actually reading the dates, and not thinking that I'm reading.
 So, on one level, I believe now that it is actually possible for me to read something in a dream. On another level, I was thinking about this before I went to sleep. It's like I made a hypothesis and carried out the experiment in my dreams. I hope I'm getting closer to a LD. It sure feels like something is happening lately...

Sometimes when I first fall asleep I am aware of where I am in reality and experience dreams at the same time. 

This usually happens to me right after I wake up. It lasts a minute or two, but the dream gets `weaker' pretty fast. I have very good recall during this time, but if I try to, for example, write something down, the dream will disappear instantly, and I'll forget it in seconds. Sometimes I can fall back asleep and resume the dream.

I hope that you appreciate the opportunity to feel a range of emotions that you'd never have access to otherwise as a moral individual.  Pretty interesting to experience, huh?

I appreciate it. A day later, I think it's actually pretty funny; at the time, I was more surprised than anything, it seemingly came from nowhere. I'm not particularly mad at anyone or anything. (That I know of, I guess.)

 (image streams)

 I decided to try an experiment which I have given the unique name `sound streams.' The last couple days I've been thinking a lot about music and sounds, so I had some of that in my head. Seeing as how I seem to have a little trouble with sound in image streams, I thought it would be good practice for that, too.
 It is very hard to describe what happened, but I think it worked extremely well. I started concentrating on a few random sounds. Since it is hard to verbally describe sounds, I would kind of mentally answer each sound with a similar sound, like I was having a conversation with it. This would sometimes produce a `harmony' or give rise to new sounds. Soon there was music and even voices, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I'm thinking maybe I'll try to do this at the same time as image streaming, to give everything more of an atmosphere.

 (dreams)

 I can't remember too much, but I had an unusually sound filled dream too. I can't remember doing anything other than lying there on my back, as if I were paralyzed, staring upwards. There wasn't much visually going on either, but stuff was kind of swirling around, giving off these colored, shimmering highlights and producing strange patterns. Once in a while, two or three people would come and look at me for a few minutes. They were observing me, one of them would try to say something to me and then talk to the others, but I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. The main thing was that I felt like I was in this storm of sound. It was like every sound I'd ever heard was playing at the same time. There was a kind of whooshing in and out, and I got the feeling that the source of the sound was somehow rotating, though I couldn't tell what direction it was coming from. I was enjoying it and didn't seem too concerned with my situation or the people.

 My father and I are driving across state in a large truck to help my mother's elderly aunt and uncle. We pull over and stop at a truck stop/store/waiting room. There is a TV showing a movie there that we decide to watch. There is a frantic looking black woman there with her ~10 year old son. The son is very depressed and seems very distant. He looks as if he may be autistic or something. She calls him alternately Pulsely, Pulsar, and Pluck. She seems worried about him. I said something like `You have to be damn sure' to the son, which was apparently hysterical, as he immediately cheered up and started laughing. The mother seemed grateful, but was not happy with what he was eating. She said `Cracker jack is awful food.'

---

 My mother and I are walking through some sand/dirt trails, at something like the Six Flags Safari, but there are no animals here. There is a stand that rents vehicles; we get a ticket and a vehicle, and the attendant says `Hope it clings.'
 We are now driving on the trails, very fast, off-roading. Even though I seem to be around 12 years old, I'm smoking a cigarette which I throw out the window. Some park rangers see this and become enraged, they chase us around for awhile. Eventually I jump out of the car into a souvenir store.
 In the store I find once again the `book-like stack.' This time it is a stack containing a 4 volume video game, a couple bibles, and several obscure texts that consist entirely of symbols and bizarre diagrams. My mother will not buy it so I steal it.
 I am playing the video game. It's a primitive wizardry type maze, but it's a matter of life and death. If I make a wrong turn in the maze, I really die. If I make the right turn, the game changes some aspect of reality, but usually makes it somehow more complicated.

---

 While these dreams are not exactly fascinating, I found the stack again. The stack occurs in completely different dreams under completely different circumstances. It is always the same size, ~8' X 10' X 12.' It looks a lot like a stack of books. It contains things that I was interested in at the time I was the age in the dream. I have found the stack to contain, at one point or another, every book, album, movie,  etc. that meant anything to me. It always contains `volumes,' interspersed with these, that make no sense, but some of these seem fairly constant across dreams. The dreams always (I think) then involve me using an item from the stack. Items not especially book-like in shape or size are somehow condensed into it; a house or place will become a book which, when opened, contain a passage to the place, or they may contain person's mind or `soul' in a kind of reflection. It always seems like I have found something wonderful when I find it, ``At last I've found it!'', even though I don't recall ever looking for it.

 My mother's (very elderly) uncle is going on a journey. He is in a small room with many books on the walls, a bed in the middle, and a light hanging from a cord in the middle of the ceiling. The room looks like it is the 1930's, but it is a `capsule' or a part of a spacecraft, or submarine, or something. He appears very weak, but excited, looking forward to something. He is about ready to `go,' but he needs me to get some of his belongings from his sisters (my grandmothers) house.
 (In real life, in my grandparents house, there was this large fake fireplace, with a stained glass window above, and large cabinets built into the wall on either side. My grandfather kept all these electrical gadgets in them; home-made radios, motors, magnets, etc. . I was fascinated by the contents of these cabinets. I was not allowed in them by myself, but my grandparents would sometimes get things out for me. One time I saw some WWII stuff in there. My grandfather tried to tell me a story about it, but he was incoherent and only talked half in English.)
 I know his belongings are in this cabinet. I look around to make sure no one is watching, and crawl into one, closing the door behind me. I find a 6 volt dry cell and a small bulb with a wire looped around it, and make a flashlight. Suddenly a radio turns on and everything turns black and white. I hear shouting in Russian, German, etc., gunfire, explosions, horses and people screaming, crying in pain. There are very scary gasping, whipping sounds, like many taking their last breaths. I feel like I am losing my mind; but in this chaos I am determined to find my granduncles belongings.
 Somehow I am standing outside of the cabinet with a large zip-lock bag containing some cigars, old newspapers, and a phonograph with a hot 1930's chick on it. I go through the fireplace and arrive back at his `capsule.' He thanks me for the bag and everything seems to vibrate and fade away.

---

 I am in front of the house of a strange family I know that practices some kind of witchcraft. I am standing by the road trying to sell peacock feathers to raise money, to buy some ingredients that this family needs for `the visit.' A black/gypsy/Indian woman comes by and starts telling me about the magical properties of the feathers, and that she doesn't trust the family. However, she offers to help me and turns all the feathers into live peacocks. I'm standing there for awhile, holding one of them under my arm, the other ones are showing off their tails and honking at the cars. Suddenly a red beam of light erupts from the house and the peacocks manage to fly into the beam at a point about 40 feet high. They disappear but something seems to be pulled down into the house. I can see candles burning in the house. I save the one I am holding, but he gets away and hops at me with his claws, then runs off down the road.

 I am in a very large, eccentric house, or mansion. The floors are white marble. There are tall exotic plants everywhere. It feels like outdoors. There are two non-physical orbs, like the sun and moon, that move around the house, make the rooms appear as day or night. There are some smaller, or more `distant' orbs, like stars. These orbs seem to be only half in this world. In many places, instead of solid walls, there are large sheets of many different colors. The colors move around and blend into each other, forming strange spiraling patterns. There are tall golden poles holding the sheets up. There is a warm gentle breeze everywhere. There is something in the air that I can't define, it is extremely pleasant. I feel mildly intoxicated, a sense of oneness with the place.
 I am relaxing on a large pillow in a room with a miniature forest growing out of the floor. There are some magic looking mushrooms growing with the trees, and tiny little creatures making strange happy sounds. I fall asleep, and begin to dream about a different room in the house.
 In this room, I lose the sense of three dimensions again, and things get hard to describe. It is clearly the same house, the room has much in common with the other rooms. In the distance it is like a sunset, but with stars in the sky. Everything kind of move toward me and away from me, but in a different dimension. Similarly, I can move toward something without it getting physically closer. I feel an intimate awareness of objects and my surrounding, as if I know their true nature. I love everything.
 A very beautiful woman who looks a lot like `The Birth of Venus' comes into the room. She seems to be kind of `hippieish.' I am instantly in love. I try to move to her, but she is like the orbs, she is not completely `here.' She says this is her house. She says she knew my father, but since she is so young, I realize she is dead. But she says she isn't dead. She says she's never been born. (I think she actually quotes the song here.) Anyway, lucky me, she wants to watch a movie.
 We go to another, more normal room, and sit on a couch. She is like a ghost, and kind of goes through the couch a little. There is an old TV with dials on it in front of us, and it comes on by itself. There is some `fantasy movie' type music and a scene of soaring over mountains, ice, forests, etc. . Then it changes to another one of my dreams. The TV is showing my dream that begins with me rolling down a hill, one of my favorite dreams. (This is a recurring element, a TV showing other dreams.) We watch this for awhile and discuss the meaning of parts of the dream. She is amazingly intuitive and points out which part of the dream are particularly important. She seems to care very deeply that I understand what she is saying. Of course, I can't remember anything, except that she said ``Maybe it's for it.'' She says there is something in this house that I should find that will help her.
 Suddenly I feel like I'm hallucinating and black out. I wake up in another room of the house, the girl is gone. I'm on a very high bed that's almost touching the ceiling. There is a talking cat walking around the floor, and in front of me I see some kid hanging on the wall, muttering strange sounds. I realize the kid is plugged into the wall, and is really a robot. I tell the robot to speak clearly, and he says ``I'm a robot.''
 I climb down and there's a guitar, amplifier, and headphones on the floor. I'm feeling very inspired and decide that I can compose a really great song right now. However, I end up just taking the headphones on and off a million times. The last time I put them on I hear the girl say ``Maybe it's for it'' again.
 Some more random stuff happened that I can't remember.