Mortal Mist

I usually only document my lucids here.

It's worthy of note though, that last night I had the most intense non-lucid sex dream. I had taken 400 mg (I think that's the LD dose) of Mucuna Pruriens (sp?). I have never had luck helping my lucid dreaming w/ this substance. It's basically a source of L-Dopa, a precursor to Dopamine in the brain. It's supposed to have an effect on HGH release when sleeping as well. I was taking it for the latter effect since I'm trying to cut down the body fat a little. I figured I would just use it up.

Last night, on my 3rd REM cycle I had an awesome sex dream. Whether the MP played a role, not sure. I don't know if I can go into the details really. Suffice it to say that my wife and I were at on orgy with a lot of hot people. No one seemed to have any inhibitions what so ever. Use your imagination on that one.

I look forward to using up the rest of my MP.

[Near WILD 1]

8:45    150 mg 5-HTP
10:15   sleeping
3:45     Get up and start GE
4:45     Woke from NREM sleep, remove NT

I had a few interesting experiences, one I guess I'll call a LD though it was such a unique exprience I handled it rather poorly.

Near WILD 1

Am I trying to relax and I'm experiencing a variety of HI. Some swirly light stuff, some full blown 2-D images, etc ...  Suddenly I find myself in a 3-D scene driving along a country road. A colleague is in my car and we discuss how on the old HW platform we used to bit map flags into control words to save memory. I put a pencil in the cup holder which is empty (I usually keep my work badge in one of the cups). I never really catch this transition into my dreamspace nor do I try to control it in any sense. It becomes incoherent and I lose it.

WILD

I'm lying on the couch trying to relax. I get an occasional sense of sleep paralysis which is unusual for me. Then I hear a small radio next to me. I can clearly hear Moonbeams voice and it appears to be an audio version of a Mortal Mist interview. She starts discussing OOBE's and how it's impossible to see yourself in a LD/OOBE. I start thinking to myself that her voice sounds more clear and realistic then I could have possibly remembered it based on conscious memory. I realize I'm dreaming but I'm quite mesmerized by the quality of the voice  She goes on to say that she realizes DrTechnical would tend to disagree with that theory since he recently had that experience, but that she will be changing my avatar to fix that problem. The voice trails off and so does the dream as I feel a subtle transition back to my physical space.

Trying to WILD from a NLD.

I'm at work and I decide to curl up on the floor with a blanket and pillow and try to sleep/LD. Others are there but I disregard them as well as the inappropriatness of this action. I relax, close my eyes and start getting imagary. It becomes very coherent and I try to step into it - but I feel somewhat paralyzed. I relax but lose the image (so I'm still in a NLD with eyes closed). I then start to feel vibrations which lead the dream me to believe I'm transitioning into my dream space. The vibrations stop and I have actually transitioned from my dreamspace into my physical space (i.e. I woke up). NOTE - sometimes I feel vibrations when leaving a dream as well.

[Work/porn fragment]

It sucks to get old(er). I'm going to include my last lucid in it's entirety. Not because I'm showing off or trying to turn this into penthouse letters. But rather to express my frustration At 40 my libido and virility are just fine. But man does it take a while to get off sometimes. This problem is in my dreams as well, which makes sense I guess. You can stop reading if you find intense sex dreams offensive.


Work/porn fragment

I'm at work. A TV and DVD player is setup in someones cube. One of my female coworkers stops and takes a look. We'll call her X. One of my subordinates and I walk past. He doesn't care and goes about his business. I take some interest. X however is very interested, fast forwarding to get to the "good parts".


Lost WILD

I have extended vibrations. I relax, focus on my 3rd eye area and transition. I get up and feel like I'm definately dreaming since I feel quite light. I do a double check and look at the VCR which says 5:07. That time is reasonable which makes me second guess things. I wake.


Trying to find X in bed

Again, extended vibrations and a transition. I'm sure I'm dreaming and head upstairs. I try to see if I can find X naked in bed. I know this is inappropriate but since she made her way into my non-lucid earlier, perhaps my subconscious is telling me something. I make my way upstairs a little excited. I get to the bedroom and the light is on. My wife is in bed folding laundry. She seems uninterested in me. I remove my pants and underwear and hop in and straddle her but wake.


Why are Orgasms getting so difficult?

(click to show/hide)

This was more a traditional WILD. I started having intense HI. I realized my work cube was forming around me. I try to step into it, but the scene becomes unstable. The scene changes to my couch and I believe I'm still dreaming - so it was like a FA I guess you would say. I head upstairs to see if I can conjure X again. I head to the bedroom and only the nightlight is on. I look in bed and the person is turned to the other side, but it's cearly my wifes hair. I get undressed from the waist down and crawl under the sheets. She's completely naked. She's on her RHS and I reposition her a little. She stirs. I'm behind her and I start fingering her a little. She seems fine with it. Since it's a LD, I always go for a little something I don't get IRL. I move up a little and start fingering her ass. The sheets are now down so I have a clear view of everything. I tell her I'm going to fuck her in the ass. She gives me a look like that's fine. It's a little difficult to get started since she's obviously very tight back there. She looks at me and says "come on daddy, you've got to try a little harder". I penetrate her and she starts really getting into it. This goes on in this position for a while and the dream starts to fade. I rub my right hand together - fingers to palm to concentrate on that sensation for a while instead. This works like a charm. The dream is again stable.

She swings around and manages to get me on my back without us decoupling. She's now on top with me still in her butt. She starts playing with herself. She's going at it like mad. I'm holding unto her ass and squeezing to continue some tactile sensation at my hands to keep the dream stable. This goes on for another minute or two when I realize it's hot and feels good, but I'm not that close. I tell her I'm just going to jerk off on her tits. She lays down and I start wanking like there's no tomorrow. She opens her mouth like she wants me to aim there. Her open mouth gives me some ideas. Without my asking, she sits up a little and starts sucking me. The position is awkward however. I suggest we hop on the floor and she get on her knees.

We get on the floor and I ask her if she can try going really deep (not her greatest RL skill). I notice it's no longer my wife but some miscellaneous DC. She gets on her knees and starts working me like a porn queen. He technique couldn't be better. Another another minute or so of this ... and I fucking wake up 


Yeah I know, a lot of people are probably envious of this all out 10 minute non-stop sex romp. But this was not as satisfying as you might think.

I missed last night on 978 mg EGCG and 200 uG Hup-A. I guess there really is something to that theory about needing Nicotine w/ Hup-A.

One interesting PSI dream though. I had put out three card (squigly lines, cross and star). Randomized them and figured I would pick the left most one.

No lucids. However, on reflecting on my dreams in the morning, I tried to surmise if there were any dream elements which matched any of those shapes. I could only think of one case. In that dream, there was a tall thin tree which snaked up past the power lines and continued to run higher and higher in a squigly pattern.

When I woke, I pulled the left most card, and sure enough - it was the squigly lines card.

Hot non-lucid dream fragment of the month. Note to self: should watch LA Ink before bed more often:

(click to show/hide)

I'm with Kat Von D and she's between my legs, just starting to stroke and suck a little. I relax and close my eyes. She says "just one thing I want you to do" (I'm expecting her to say let me know when you're about to come so I can back off). But she offers "When you're about to come, I want you to look in my eyes, I really like that". 

[Chatting with the HR Lady]

Freudian wish fulfillment, PSI based experience, or none of the above?


Chatting with the HR Lady

I'm at a desk with a woman who reminds me of the HR director at ECS. I get on the subject of where they are in their process of making a decision, suggesting that it must be down to just a few candidates. She says to me in a tone that suggests I should  keep the following to myself ... "well, let's just say you should probably make plans on getting a job offer soon".

[HS Reunion]

N + Calea

Should have been a much better night. Dog was very sick - all post WBTB. She was absolutely fine earlier in the day and evening. Digestive system stuff which is highly unusual for her.

Pre-WBTB (non-lucid)

I am with K and A. Our dog S is very sick and we are at the vet to put her down. We coddle her and try to make her comfortable while she loses consciousness and drifts off.


Post-WBTB  (various trips outside with the dog, vomiting, etc ...)


HS Reunion (DILD)

I am at what appears to be a HS reunion. Most people are standing around waiting to find a seat. Finally people start finding tables. I am disappointed at the turn out - no one I wanted to see too badly. I wind up sitting w/ TF and his dad (?). The band starts to play. It turns out to be Black Sabbath with Ozzy and they start up with Paranoid. I have no shirt on and a pair of suspenders. They are too tight and forcing me to hunch over. Finally I realize I'm dreaming. The band finishes their first song. No one is eating or drinking yet and in fact nothing has been served. I stand up and yell "hey, it's time for everyone to have a drink!". There is a huge collective cheer. I start wondering if drinking in a lucid is the wrong thing to do. I wake.


Rustic Hotel (WILD)

I have a series of vibrations and transition. I move a few things from the wall which should not have been there in the first place. I kneel and put my hands on the wall. I struggle at first to make any progress. Finally I soften the wall and crawl in. I am presented with a scene at waist level. I crawl up and enter a completely new scene. A random one.

I find myself in a hotel. The doorways and overall feel are very rustic. Lots of green trim and earth tones. It feels about 100 years old, at least. I walk and turn the corner, spotting the lobby. There are several people there. I ask a few basic questions like "where are we" and "what is today's date". I get back answers that sound like and are structured like english, but the sentences are otherwise gibberish. I notice a customer who has a very low cut dressed with her boobs pushed way up. Out of the blue I just walk over and kiss her. She seems flattered. A few other women pick up on whats going on and I'm thinking .... hmmmm, orgy in the hotel lobby. I wake.


Grandma ... Up in Smoke (DEILD)

I lie still and induce more vibrations. I walk over to the wall and again have some challenges getting through. This time I get my usual void, rip it open and feel for my target. I walk up the stairs and enter our old house.

Grandma is sitting at the kitchen table. I get excited and tell her I have some questions. I look away briefly. My I set my sights on her once again, she is gone. Nothing but a big puff of smoke rising up and disapating. I walk toward the front of the house and our old blue LeSabre is out front. I set my sites on a wreckless car ride. I head outside but quickly lose the dream and wake.

[Driving from the Rear]

You're probably right MB. That wasn't rock bottom. Last night was. Bad dreams all night long. These should all be taken to be more metaphorical as opposed to literal, I think. We just have a lot of stuff coming to a head at work. I need to fly to MN Monday. By Wed, I am expecting that we conclude that we're screwed technically with the project. And soon we will come to learn that we're screwed cost wise. I inherited the problem, not my design or cost estimate that was F'd. But not good none the less as we desperately need some new revenue streams.


Pre-WBTB:

Driving from the Rear (DILD)

I am in the jeep sitting in the back seat. I have a steering wheel in front of me and I am actually steering the car from this position. But my legs are crossed with my left leg controlling the gas and breaking. It's very cumbersome. I try to uncross but I don't have enough space to do so. I realize I'm dreaming. I also realize I'm picking up speed down this rather steep hill which will soon turn right. The right passenger side visor is down and since I am being the usual driver side, it is obstructing my view, so it's going to be an issue maintaining control of the car and turning appropriately. Even though I know it's a dream, I am not sure what to do and just being reactionary. When I do make the turn the scene changes to more of a city scene and I stop at a traffic light behind some guy carrying a bicycle over his shoulder. I lose the dream and my lucidity.


Post WBTB with a supp combo that should have worked but didn't (guarana, EGCG, CES, LT).


Fragment 1:

I call dad to tell him we won't be traveling for Xmas due to the 2X price cost the airlines are trying to rape customers with. He is pissed and mentions something about how he will buy us tickets for Wednesday. I call back to define the dates we had already picked and to tell him not to bother.


Fragment 2:

I am watching a special news bulletin on TV. The reporter is starting to describe a plane crash disaster of some kind. Then he gets a phone call and begins to cry uncontrollably. Another person comes on and indicates that the first reported had misreported in some sense. The implication seems to be that it is much worse than originally reported.


Fragment 3:

I am in a factory when people start looking out the window. I walk over and notice a medium sized plan with a huge saucer dish on top of it. Like an Awack but larger and closer to the mid section of the plane. It is clearly losing control and about to crash. I begin to run away from the windowed area realizing that this is a likely point of impact. When it hits, the force of the explosion pushes me back but I seem to be OK.


Fragment 4:

I am outside with my wife. We see an airliner coming in very low. It flies over us and hits the ground in a huge explosion. The force and explosion are so extreme that it more or less disintegrates on impact.


Fragment 5:

I am on the 2nd floor of a building when an attractive brunette comes up the stairs. She has bright red lipstick on and says something like "well, it's the end of world so I made out with all the hot guys". Uh ... what about me? - I think to myself. So I lean over and start making out with her but get very little response back. I'm put off by this. I say something like "you know, I'll be honest, if it's really the end of the world, we should fuck." She seems mildly flattered by this but is obviously not interested.


Fragment 6:

I am again next to a factory building with white walls but this time I'm outside. A siren goes off. What is that - a tornado, a bomb siren? Someone points out a plane in the sky with long trails of dark smoke coming off its tail. We realize it's coming in straight for us. As it gets closer, I realize it's not a plane but a truck. It lands on the ground and faces me like it's going to run me over. It then turns and begins to head toward a bunch of other people. I wake.

[Unusual fragment]

G/C + LT


Unusual fragment: I am outside inspecting an old mint condition luxury car. It probably dates back to the 1950's or so and might be a Cadillac. I notice the small brass screws holding the letters in place that define the cars name on it's side. I walk around it, verifying that the gas tank is accessed under the license plate. The car is white with chrome bumpers


Making Amends with a Recent Visitor?

I am at a sports shop, more the kind you might find in the deep Midwest. So other than just traditional team and fitness related stuff, there are also lots of fishing and hunting gear and decorations. The illumination is dark, but the sense of the place is pleasant. I am at a counter with another man, being helped by an employee on the opposite side of the counter. The man next to me (who is about my age, perhaps a bit less) is buying me a gift. A small handgun that costs $140.00. But other than that, there seems to be an obvious sense of apology between us. In fact, the employee behind the counter takes out two sizable bottles of beer, opens them and places them on the counter top. I am hesitant to start drinking here as that could not possibly be within the context of the rules. The employee understands my concerns and suggests there is a lounge toward the back that we can enjoy our beverages at.


Finding FC at a Less Distracting Locale (DILD)

I am on the floor mucking w/ my laptop, trying to close a few windows and shut it off. I am having troubles doing this and simply decide to give up and go back on the couch to try to LD. Once repositioned and relaxed, I realize that the corner light has been left on. This is most certainly impossible and I know I am dreaming. I try to roll over but my motor skills are awful. It takes a while to just relax and get over this. When I do, I grab my target object that I intend to show FC and place it in my pocket. I head to the wall, decompose it and enter voidspace. I reach for the bannister and pull myself into my desired location.

Upon walking up the stairs, the scene is not managing to stabilize. I am working unusually hard to visualize where I need to be. I enter the first floor and get a brief solid view of the TV room, but again, that fades and I find myself visualizing too heavily. I walk around to the laundry room on route to the patio. By the time I enter it I reach down to my right pocket to verify that my object is still there. This tactile sensation instantly stabilizes the scene. I look outside and there is a figure sitting at the table. I can barely make out who it is but the person is obviously female and the hair color and length is correct. I exit and call out to her twice. She moves briefly as if anticipating my arrival, or perhaps as a subtle acknowledgement that I have the right person. She is still facing away from me having taken position on the far right chair that faces NNE. Having been with her before on the astral, as well as having had enough back and forth communication by now, I know her "ident" well enough. I'm excited that I have managed to bring her here again. Too excited. I wake.


Electrical Work

I am an observer in an operating room. The doctor is working on a human patient. However, this patient is represented by a human head, with a body that is a large, flat, green printed circuit board with various electrical elements on it. There is an outline drawn in white that articulates where the body perimeter and muscles would be. The doctor is electrically stimulating elements on the circuit board and noting which areas of the body are affected. Each time he does, he scribbles some shorthand notes right onto the board.

[Rock and Wood Pulpit]

A number of non lucid dreams prior to WBTB. The only one that stands out is an erotic one. I had gotten up for my WBTB session, used the bathroom, freshened up and left the bathroom to go downstairs. There were some sounds emanating from the bedroom. Distracted, I went in there asking her if she needed some help. She readily agreed (~1:00 am)

WBTB:  N+LT+Hup-A


Mostly very sleepless. At 5:00 am, made a last ditch effort to fall asleep using some hemi-sync. Actually did pretty readily and dreamed the following:


Rock and Wood Pulpit

I am climbing this odd structure. It's about 15 feet high. It consists of rocks that have been embedded into a hill of earth. They appear to be held together with mortar and the overall strength of the structure is much greater than is would appear. As I continue to climb from the right most side, I approach was is effectively a platform or pulpit of sorts. It is constructed with large railroad ties in a rectangular pattern and the ties are spiked together and ultimately spiked into the rocks. I have my daughters safety in mind for some reason, as I suspect she will be playing up here and I want to check the integrity of the platform. I pull on the ties and they are solid as can be. There does not seem to be any cause for concern, other than the route up to the platform itself. One needs to take some rather large steps to traverse the path and once up at the top here, I feel a bit dizzy - which is unusual for me. I wake (5:22 am).


Trying to Find FC on the Patio Again (WILD)

I am trying to sleep when I begin to feel some subtle vibrations. I submit to the feeling and just flow with it. I soon realize I have transitioned. I roll off the couch and get my composure. I reach down for my wand and place it in my pocket with an intention to at least have her tell me what color it is. I head over to the wall, place my hands and set my intention to enter our dreamspace. I reach for the usual object, the basement bannister and begin to traverse the stairs toward the first floor. When I exit, the sunlight from the LR area is very intense and it is reflecting strongly off the white ceramic tile floor of the hall. I turn and head to the kitchen.

I enter the kitchen and clearly see FC sitting at the round white patio table. She is obviously waiting patiently for me, though she is in a seat which is different than the one I expect (and the same seat as last time). I enter the laundry quite excited, but upon opening the door to the back yard have a bit of a twinge of doubt. When I exit, the chair is empty. I am hoping that she is just slouched a bit. When I walk the mere 15-20 feet get to the patio table, the scene has changed radically. The more contemporary metal table and chairs are gone, and they have been replaced with the red stained wood furniture from the early 80's. The ones that had the really fat cushions with bright yellow floral patterns on them. I grab one of the chairs and pull it a few feet over for some reason.

I'm not sure what to do at this point? So I try the obvious. I simply call for her by name several times. But no one appears. I look over to the sliding glass doors and think that perhaps I should re-enter the house. I figure this is best, but wake.

*****

That was a bit frustrating. But I think I am trying to hard and getting thrown off by the sequence. Seeing her, continuing along and then trying to get to spot her effectively a second time. I think it will make more sense to go straight to the sliders, fully expecting to meet her on the patio - that will have an instantaneous effect of spotting her, but allowing me to keep her in sight once I do.