Author Topic: Caradon's Dream Journal  (Read 11213 times)

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #180 on: January 11, 2020, 07:00:32 AM »
Friday/January/10/2020

Still not feeling great but better than I was Thursday. Now feels like a regular cold shitty but manageable compared to whatever it was that knocked me out for a day and a half. Still crappy recall. I got about six hours of sleep last night which is better than usual for a Friday night for me. All I remember is a little bit of a conversation I was having with my step dad about the policies of a bank. Influenced of course by all the more than a little annoying stuff lately of him needing me to deposit some checks for him in his bank account because he is out of town. And his bank making the task difficult to accomplish.

I did finally recall a few short but vivid dreams towards the end of my sleeping binge through Wednesday night into Friday morning but was feeling too shitty to write.



« Last Edit: January 11, 2020, 07:09:34 AM by Caradon »

Offline Wędajihs

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #181 on: January 11, 2020, 12:29:53 PM »
I know a lot of people who are having issues with banks these days. I think something is happening behind the regal banking scenes that none of us common folk know about.

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #182 on: January 12, 2020, 08:40:02 AM »
I know a lot of people who are having issues with banks these days. I think something is happening behind the regal banking scenes that none of us common folk know about.

I told him he should switch to the bank I'm using that is just down the road from the one he is using. I've not had any problems with them at all. 

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #183 on: January 13, 2020, 01:16:31 PM »
Sunday/January/12/2020

No recall. Not doing so well right now. Still really sick my heads in a fog and I think my little friend might be starting to take a turn for the worse. She doesn't seem right and I'm more than a little worried.

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #184 on: January 14, 2020, 03:25:56 PM »
Monday/January/13/2020

Still no recall. Vaguely remember something about a work dream.

My little friend isn't doing too good. Was just all of a sudden, started Saturday night when I got home. I thought her breathing seemed off and wheezy. She seems to be breathing okay at the moment at least. But she is super lethargic and can't get her to eat anything. She ate some shredded up pieces of chicken yesterday but so far today I've not been able to get her to eat a bite of anything.

 
« Last Edit: January 14, 2020, 05:06:05 PM by Caradon »

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #185 on: January 15, 2020, 12:02:00 PM »
Tuesday/January/14/2020

 I had a little bit of recall. I remembered a dream that my little friend was suddenly miraculously okay. She was up and running around and playing. And there was  a little bit of stuff about my step dad driving around in a large monster truck. And I'm pretty sure there was something about a wilderness trail.     

I called off from work today. It seems apparent now that my little friend is in the process of dying and my heart is breaking. She can't hardly stand up without falling over. I can't bring myself to take her in to be put to sleep yet. She doesn't seem to be in any kind of pain or suffering. Just very weak. But is relaxed and sleeping peacefully. And she is still drinking water. I'm just going to spend the day and night with her wrapped in my arms and see what tomorrow brings. She is drinking water at least.


 

Offline Contratonics

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #186 on: January 15, 2020, 12:24:30 PM »
That sounds like just about the comfiest way for a dog to go, heart goes out to you and her.
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Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #187 on: January 15, 2020, 01:20:59 PM »
That sounds like just about the comfiest way for a dog to go, heart goes out to you and her.

Thank you, Contratonics.

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #188 on: January 16, 2020, 03:32:35 PM »
My baby died today. Just a little after 12:00pm January 16th 2020. She died at home in my arms. I made an appointment to bring her in but she didn't last long enough for the appointment. It's better she died here at home in my arms than at the awful vet place getting put to sleep, so I'm thankful for that. Now she is gone and I can only see her in my dreams. My bike riding buddy, I'm going to miss you so much, every single day. Despite how awful it was to see you go, you were the best thing that ever happened in my life.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2020, 03:42:40 PM by Caradon »

Offline Wędajihs

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #189 on: January 16, 2020, 08:48:24 PM »
Oh no. Caradon, I feel for you. I don't know what else to say except honor her memory with all the tears it takes and bitter sweet memories that arise. I hope you are both reunited in dreams soon.


Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #190 on: January 17, 2020, 12:17:15 PM »
Oh no. Caradon, I feel for you. I don't know what else to say except honor her memory with all the tears it takes and bitter sweet memories that arise. I hope you are both reunited in dreams soon.

Thank you. Waking up today has been very difficult.

Thursday/January/16/2020

After bringing my little friends body to the vet to be cremated and coming home the reality of the situation started to sink in. And I was starting to freak out. She was nowhere to be seen and I just desperately needed to see her. And in a disturbing way a part of me wished I had not brought her to the vet and left her there. But what else could I do.
I just wanted to be knocked out so I took a pretty large does of Melatonin at least compared to the 3mg that I normally ever take. I took 15mg and just lay down in my tent looking at some photos for a while before falling to sleep. Every time waking up and remembering she is gone and feeling the emptiness and just wanting to go back to sleep. So many times having horrible dreams of losing her, and then waking to relief and seeing her laying their comfortably next to me. But this time waking up to the horrible reality of it. I'm sorry... I might not even have gotten up except I'm expected to be at work today. I'm so glad I didn't go in Wednesday or Thursday and stayed with her as she kept getting worse.  There is supposed to be a winter storm here today too, possibly up to 9 inches of snow. I'm kind of worried about that if it's really bad trying to drive home tonight. Does not look like it's started yet.

I actually had a lot of recall last night. And even a little brief lucidity. I was in my tent nearly 15 hours.

It felt like the deeper part of my mind was trying to help me to feel better. And help me to get lucid. In my dreams yet, probably thankfully, I had not remembered she was gone yet. I had so many dreams of the most beautiful mountains. And for some reason there was so often this running theme of an extremely high cliff.

An RC Lucid Moment

I'm just feeling too lazy and shitty to put this in my lucid dream journal right now. And I don't think I'm going to count them even though I know I should.

There was one point where I was with someone on the edge of this incredibly high and scary cliff. I think about how scary the drop is and if I could even jump if I knew it was a dream. I knew that I could. I ask the person with me if they knew this was a dream do they think they could jump? And then I decide to do a reality check. I look at my watch and look away from it and look back. When looking back at it the numbers were all bizarre looking and scrambled. And I knew it actually was a dream. But the dream faded right away and I was alone in my tent for a little moment before drifting off again.

Weird Slap In The Face Dreamsign

I'm in a vehicle with someone traveling down a road. I'm having a discussion with the person about lucid dreaming. I don't remember the conversation exactly.
When out of nowhere a strange vehicle full of people wearing Spider-Man costumes driving crazily side swipes the vehicle we are driving nearly running us off the road. And the vehicle full of Spider-Men goes racing off. The vehicle they were in is like a large jeep that is a convertible and the are several rows of seats. And every seat has someone that looks like Spider-Man sitting in it.

To the person with me I say. "Did you just see that? That's like an obvious dreamsign thrown right in your face if I ever saw one!"  I don't remember if I actually did an RC right then though I was thinking about it. But I was lucid after that. We get out of the vehicle and I look around for a few moments taking in the scene and watching the people that are walking around. I remember thinking to try and feel the dream and try to get used to the feeling of it. But that is the last thing I remember about it

Plastic Toy World

I had a really weird dream that I was a little plastic toy and my friends in the dream were little plastic toys and the world was a plastic toy world. It was so weird. And maybe even weirder even in this dream there was the high cliff theme again. I was at the top of the high toy cliff and watching my little toy friends going about doing their thing. Far below the cliff is this little plastic toy sail boat on some very plastic looking water. And I actually decided to jump off the cliff into the toy water which was not like real water but not solid either because I splashed into it. And later I had a dream where I was telling someone about this odd plastic toy world dream I was having.

Rooftop Parkour

Very vivid and long dream about climbing up onto the roof of the house. The roof of the house was elaborate in design and I was practicing parkour moves on the roof and mapping out running courses across it.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2020, 12:27:26 PM by Caradon »

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #191 on: January 18, 2020, 05:45:23 PM »
Friday/January/17/2020

Kind of annoyed my new computer isn't accessing the forum at the moment. Says page not found. But my old computer and phone are finding it fine. I think maybe the free trial McAfee that came with the computer is blocking it for some reason. Will have to figure that out. But At least my old computer is still usable to record dreams with for now. Got out of work a little early. Going to try and get to sleep early.

I only slept a few hours because of having to work in the morning. Not sure how many, maybe four hours or so. I slept until the last possible minute this morning. And I had to go out in shovel try and get out. I managed to get to work and back okay through the storm Friday night and Saturday morning. It wasn't too terrible. 

-There was a four wheeling dream It could of ended up being one  of those that got me crazy air but. There were some jumps but I never got that kind of air off of them.

- I was at a house with a lot of people and I found ice cream in the refrigerator. It tasted really good and I couldn't stop eating it. I felt kind of bad it wasn't my ice-cream and I was intending to go to the store to get more to replace it.

-There was a dream I'm not sure what was going on but I was sitting up on this raised area and trying to imitate a Buddha statue. I think I was just being silly. 
« Last Edit: January 18, 2020, 05:50:48 PM by Caradon »

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #192 on: January 19, 2020, 09:07:29 AM »
Saturday/January/18/2020

A lot of recall and a couple very close calls for lucidity. It seems like every since my little  friend died my mind has been trying to get me lucid. And recall has gotten very vivid all of a sudden. I slept in too long and don't have time to record this morning. I just want to get to sleep as soon as I can when I get home from work. So probably going to skip recording.

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #193 on: January 20, 2020, 04:23:17 PM »
Sunday/January/19/2020

My first couple of days off without my friend. Trying to figure out how to function with her no longer here.  I'm just camping out in my tent. Will probably be spending a lot of time in here for at least the remainder of the winter. With my computer and Netflix. Watched some Netflix for the first time since she is gone. Just very relaxed and warm with my heating pad it's been very cold outside last few days and it's cozy and  warm in here inside of my tent. I solved the problem of being unable to access the forum from my new computer so I'm glad about that.

More very vivid recall and some lucidity that I recorded in my lucid dream journal.

Offline Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #194 on: January 21, 2020, 03:50:59 PM »
Monday/January/20/2020

I slept only about four and a half hours. I was going to go back to sleep for a while but never did. More intense recall. I'm fascinated by what has been going on with my dreaming mind since my friend has gone. Ever single day so far since she has been gone extremely vivid recall with either some lucidity or very close to it. I wonder if this will continue. Or maybe if it's caused because I've not been eating very much, I don't know. Whatever is happening I'm thankful for it, hopefully it will continue.

I slept in pitch darkness for the first time last night since my friend has gone. I always previously had some sort of light on so she could get to her water if she needed to without trouble in the dark.

Ocean River Falls: Best Dreamsign Missed

My first memory is of swimming in the ocean. I get caught in a current that begins to pull me deeper out to sea. At first I'm a little worried, but instead of freaking out and fighting it I just go with it. I swim with the current and don't worry about it too much.

But then suddenly a rift (I'm not sure how else to describe it.) opens up in the ocean nearby, and another. As if the ocean itself cracks open and a crevice/rift appears and spreads open wide. The waters of the ocean rushes over the edges of the rift and down into who knows where like a massive waterfall falling into the earth. There is nothing I can do as I get sucked along with the powerful current and over the edge of the newly formed falls.

It's not as scary as it sounds as I dive headfirst over the falls, what else is there to do? It's a very long drop and hit the waters of a rushing river far below. But now it's not as if I'm under ground or under the sea. I'm just being washed along a powerful river across the land. I swim with the current and soon come to another massive waterfall. I swim right over the falls again diving head first over an extremely far drop. Again I hit the waters of a rushing river below and continue along with the currents.

I come to more waterfalls, again and again. Each time I swim and dive off over the falls to the rushing waters below. It becomes so exhilarating that it's not scary and I'm so confident of my dives.

But eventually, one of my dives ends on land. I land on my feet somehow and I have such momentum from the rushing currents that I continue to run. Just up ahead I see a massive canyon cliff. It's appearance is similar to the grand canyon.

 My momentum is out of control and  my confidence so high. A part of my mind is telling me this is insane, but I don't care I don't want to stop. Another part of my mind remembers and knows I have the skills to handle the jump. But even so I'm not sure how I know because I'm even thinking of it as I run at full super speed towards the edge of the cliff. I have no idea how I'm going to survive.

I reach the edge of the cliff at speed and leap with everything I have. Whooooaaaaaa, I rocket into the sky ridiculously high over the canyon. Dizzying height I tumble through the sky. I'm incredibly exhilarated by the experience but wonder how I could ever survive the landing from this kind of height. I think maybe I can slow my fall but instead I pick up speed. Faster and faster I fall. The ground rushes at me and it's a hard impact. Expecting a lot of pain as I slam into the ground, but there isn't. I stand up, I'm fine. I wake up thinking whoa, again. So intense.