Author Topic: Caradon's Dream Journal  (Read 7453 times)

Online Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #225 on: February 29, 2020, 09:02:01 AM »
Friday/February/28/2020

Only slept a somewhere between four and five hours because of having to work early. No recall. Something did try coming back to me.

Recap For February 2020

It's not been a very good month. recall has been off and on. Goal for March is to try and start concentrating better and to get more focused on the awareness work again. See if I can start turning things around dreaming wise at least. And try to get better at staying aware while on the job. I've been working no it some, but it's very difficult to maintain while at the current job, there are a lot of distractions. Especially while interacting with people.  Need to work on staying aware, and not becoming too distracted while interacting with others. I've always felt that is important, and in fact back in the days when I was pretty good at it would trigger more lucidity. As in dreams, there is always something going on that the mind is focused on.

And hopefully at some point soon, when I see my lost friend in my dreams I can remember that I should do a reality check. And have a more aware dreaming interaction.

A had an INRALD moment with her a few days ago (without the lucidity) that I didn't post.  I was sitting in my kitchen watching something on Netflix. And unknowingly started to drift off. She suddenly cane running into the kitchen, and ran right towards me. It startled me quite a bit and jolted me out of it. Very similar to the time that happened and a random tiger walked into the kitchen and surprised me more than a little.

It would be better if I can cut back the caffeine to a much smaller does again. So that I can do the right kind of WBTB's that has always worked well for me, in combination with the awareness work.

I used to get up every time during the night that I woke up naturally. Walk around the house for ten to fifteen minutes trying t single mindedly question if I was dreaming or not. Walk around, looking at things, touching things. Questioning everything. Then lay back down trying to single mindedly hold the thought as I fall back to sleep. The first time I ever tried that, I ended up having three lucid dreams back to back in the same night. So I kept doing it. And it's always greatly helped with both recall and lucidity. As even if not getting lucid, it would wake my mind up enough for better recall.

But the way I've been doing it now days, I have been waking up, getting my caffeine and staying awake for two, three, four hours before going back to sleep. And not maintaining awareness well enough getting distracted by thoughts and messing around with the computer, music and Netflix whatever.

I need to take advantage of the fact that I work nights three nights out of the week and there are days I can sleep ten to twelve hours if I'm not distracted by getting up and wanting my caffeine buzz. The caffeine is also a distraction in that too often the first thing I want to think of when I wake up is if it's time yet to get up so I can get my little caffeine buzz on. Instead of being immediately focused on my dreams the way I should be. Somewhere along the line, I started being more interested in if it's time to wake up yet, instead of how much time I have left to sleep.

Online Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #226 on: March 01, 2020, 05:03:50 AM »
Saturday/February/29/2020
 
I slept from about 6:00pm until about 12:30am. I'm not sure if I'm going to sleep anymore or not before going in to work. I need to be there by 8:00am. I woke without recall for a few moments but then a vivid dream came back to me. I'm kind of forced out of my tent as my back is starting to bother me. I need to spend some time sitting in my office chair which is the only thing that has been able to make better. But I'll probably still be sleeping in the tent.

Awareness Level: I was trying hard to maintain awareness at work but felt like I was doing pretty well, at least for the first part of the day, but then I was getting distracted and forgetting. After being distracted  and forgetting I was  trying to go over events in my mind and questioning if there was anything dreamlike about anything that had been going on.

Dangerous Caves

I'm with my brother and another person, I'm not sure who the third person is. We are descending I winding staircase which I'm aware leads to a cave system deep beneath the earth. My brother is the one leading us down. There is some reason he wants to go into the caverns but I don't know exactly what the reason is.

I'm a little frightened, remembering, as always, the deadly man eating humanoid mutants that live deep beneath the earth. (It's a recurring dream theme involving caves that I always remember are there. but as of yet never remember to reality check to.)

Worried, I ask my brother about the danger of the cave dwellers. He reassures me that he knows what he is doing and where he is taking us. And that if the mutants begin to appear he knows routes through the caves to get around them, unnoticed. I'm not exactly convinced, but decided to just trust in him anyways.

We descend into a very large cavern where we find a group of many people that have set up a sort of underground base camp. These people are also preparing their explorations of the many caverns beneath the earth. And in this large cavern they have set up camp as if planning to spend long periods of time here, and periodically set off into different sections of the depths below. 

A man comes forward to speak with us. He seems to be the one in charge of this base camp. The man explains to us the true dangers of the depths below. And how we are not fully prepared for what is instore should we venture deeper. And that we need to be sure we are ready.

I remember then, looking  around the cavern, wondering how stable the caves are. And if there is also any danger of cave ins and falling rocks.

In reality, in my late teens, early twenties. My friends and I would venture into the cave systems beneath St Paul Minnesota. Which were illegal to explore because of not being safe. It was said, that the cave systems are so large and so deep the entire city could fit below the surface. And many stories of deaths from falling ceilings. And many of the caves were sealed off, from both random cave ins and purposely caved in by the city to keep people out. But this didn't stop many people from going into them to party and explore, as we were doing and often partied in there.  It was one of those deals where after spending so much time in them and nothing bad happens, you lose your fear of it.

It was a fascinating place, of sandy beach like floors, and sandstone cave walls. And there were places, were small tunnels in the walls leading upward had stairs carved into the sandstone to climb upward. And that would lead to small chambers where thrones were carved into the walls that we would sit in and drink and smoke pot. describing this now, sounds very unreal and dreamlike. But it's was a real place in the waking world, underneath ST Paul Minnesota. I think all of the entrances, at least I heard, are sealed off now.

« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:41:21 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #227 on: March 02, 2020, 08:55:35 PM »
Sunday/March/1/2020

Awareness was okay until I started getting tired and back was bothering me making it difficult to concentrate. And Sundays can be pretty rough days on the job.


Snowmobile

Vivid dream about riding a snowmobile through some really deep snow during a snowstorm. Visibility was bad but I knew I had to keep the moment up or risk sinking into the deep snow and get stuck. (Which actually happened to me once in reality.) I was kind of worried that there might be hidden fences buried in the snow that could be dangerous to hit. As I'm thinking that I see a post sticking up out of the snow, getting a closer look at it a see wide board attached to the post with words painted on it. The sign says something odd that I can't exactly remember. But I remember think that it was a pretty odd random sign posted there.

Werewolf

I'm a werewolf in a secret society of werewolves. I'm telling someone that I had figured out how to changer even though it's not a full moon. Usually the werewolves of the clan can only change with the full moon but somehow I had figured out how to change when ever I wanted. I go outside to show off how I can do it, but slightly worried that now I won't be able to. But I never did before waking.

Apocalypse

A difficult to describe dream about being in an apocalypse. I was mostly watching as if it were a movie even though I felt as if I was a part of it. Some people were trying to take refuge in some building that was actually several buildings within buildings and they had to cut through all the doors in order to get to the main buildings within. Within the buildings were tunnels which actually became a train yard and the tunnels were the inside of long trains. My perspective shifts and I'm watching from outside the trains and then the zombies begin to appear, wandering aimlessly around the train yard. I'm watching a kid with a rifle and incredible aim casually blowing off zombie heads.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:39:58 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #228 on: March 04, 2020, 02:16:55 PM »
Tuesday/March/4/2020

I slept really good. I got out my cozy fluffy down sleeping bag and dragged it into my living room tent and slept wrapped up in that thing. I had a lot of vivid recall but I slept in too late to record everything. I had some low level lucidity that I described in my lucid dream journal. I had some angry dreams about family BS. I dreamed bout both of the dogs. A lot of work stuff, and some dreams about playing video games. And a dream about hiking in some beautiful mountain scenery, and a mountain that had a scary high scary cliff. And getting caught in a downpouring rain storm and trying to find shelter from the rain.

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #229 on: March 05, 2020, 02:28:09 PM »
Wednesday/March/4/2020

Tornado

Very vivid after a WBTB. I'm riding my bike on a paved trail through the countryside. The trail is kind of forested. I have my headphones on and I'm listening to some random music that I'm not even sure I like. But something about the music makes me want to ride fast so I start riding really fast. But then I realize it's probably not a good idea riding so fast on these unfamiliar trails so I slow down.

That's when I notice how dark the sky is getting And I'm thinking stupid for not checking the weather, I don't have any kind of shelter. And it seems a storm is approaching quickly. Then not far off to my left I see the massive funnel cloud reaching towards the ground and I know I'm in trouble. Can I ride fast enough to get away from it? But it's moving in my direction. And to make it worse, I see that the massive funnel has broken up into several funnels and I can feel the wind picking up.

I'm trying to ride away as fast as I can but it's useless. I see this little building along the trail. It's like a little park building for bathrooms. I ride up to the side of the little building and drop the bike. I crouch down along side the wall trying to get any kind of shelter than I can from the winds that I can feel picking up. I just duck down next to the wall and hope for the best.

Then I realize that I'm on  a little narrow ledge and looking over the side I can see a rushing river. I feel like maybe this isn't the best place to be in a storm. I worry the little ledge I'm on could give way and I might end up being swept away in the rushing waters of the river below.

I look up and see some people just casually lounging around in the branches of the trees above. I wonder how long they have been watching me, or if they even noticed the tornado. They don't seem to be concerned, just laying back and relaxing in the branches.

Parkour And Telekinesis

I'm in the room of a house and I'm with someone, I'm not sure who it is supposed to be. I don't remember how the conversation comes up but I start explaining to the person there that sometimes when I'm alone in the house I will go crazy parkouring all over the house. And describing all the things I do, and how I can even sometimes get up enough momentum to literally run across the walls.

Then I mention that I can also use telekinesis on myself to make myself lighter and move easier. After explaining that I demonstrate by TKing an object off of a nearby shelf, and make the object fly into my hand. I ask the person saw that but they were not paying attention. So I do it again with something else. Then I start using TK on several objects at once making them levitate all over the room. And the rest of the dream I'm just having fun playing with telekinesis until I wake up.

Tornado Fragment

Just a fragment I'm in the passenger seat of a car and strapped in with a seatbelt. The car is parked and I'm the only one in it. Again I see a massive funnel cloud touching down not far away and moving in my direction. I'm struggling to get out of the car and run when I wake up.

« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:39:20 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #230 on: March 06, 2020, 01:20:14 PM »
Thursday/March/5/2020

I had trouble falling back to sleep after a WBTB and didn't recall much. I just remember I creepy fragment, I think it was supposed to be a VR game. It seemed like it could be something out of the VR horror shooter Rush of Blood. There was some demon ghost looking woman in a nurses outfit chopping up corpses with a meat cleaver. I didn't think she was real, thinking her a video game image. She started moving all sexy like, while doing her morbid deed with the corpses. And when I asked her if she was getting turned on by hacking up bodies I was very surprised and creeped out when she looked at me and responded telling me no that she wasn't. Very surprised that a ghostly video game character was responding and talking to me directly.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:38:57 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #231 on: March 10, 2020, 09:56:04 AM »
Monday/March/9/2020

Floating

I had an interesting dream where I was floating around. I wasn't moving of my on volition but by some unseen force that was controlling where I floated to and I was just going with it. It felt similar to when watching a movie or show and the camera is floating around the scene. At least that's how I felt in the dream. But some of the time I felt as if I was in a video game and was being moved to my next waypoint or next objective in the game.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:38:30 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #232 on: March 11, 2020, 02:26:09 PM »
Tuesday/March/10/2020

I had pretty good recall but I was enjoying my sleeping and dreaming too much to get up in time to write them down other than for some notes. I slept in to the last minute.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:37:34 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #233 on: March 12, 2020, 12:53:47 PM »
Wednesday/March/11/2020

Slept in late again. Just some notes.

-More motocross stuff. (Two nights in a row of that.)

-Weird stuff about a secret upper level room in a building.

-Some annoying family stuff.

-Some weird public bathroom stuff.

-Running around a grocery store just trying to buy three frozen pizzas. For some unknown reason being in a major hurry. You wouldn't believe how difficult it can be to select and purchase three frozen pizzas in a crowded grocery store in a dream while trying to do it as fast as you can. Definitely the kind of thing should have thought to RC to.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:36:23 AM by Caradon »

Online Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #234 on: March 19, 2020, 12:34:58 AM »
Gah, just realized the date on my watch has been off by a day so my dates are all off. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things! Lol just kidding. Dates are not that important anyways. There are no dates in dream space. I'm not sure what happened there. I'll try and go back and fix it. (Okay fixed I think. Looks like it's been off since the beginning of March.

Wednesday/March/18/2020

I went to sleep about 6:00pm and slept until almost 10:00pm. Kind of late nap I guess. I couldn't fall back to sleep so just got up. I went to sleep kind of happy that I don't have to be to work for a while, but woke up thinking shit this sucks. I have no idea how long I'll be off work. My area has declared a state of emergency and pretty much everything is shutting down. Banks are not allowing people inside, only drive up. Dentists are closed to regular check ups, only taking emergency issues.

I had some strange dreams about being on wilderness trails. I was skiing on dirt trails, some steep. Came across some steep cliffs that were kind of scary. I came across and odd scene where these guys were sliding down these bob sled style shoots carved into the ground. It seemed kind of dangerous and they were flying up into the air because of their momentum and speed. I was just watching this stuff for a while before waking up.

I'll post more if I get back to sleep. I'm not sure. I might be up all night. 
« Last Edit: March 19, 2020, 12:43:55 AM by Caradon »

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #235 on: March 21, 2020, 11:01:37 AM »
Friday/March/20/2020

Prison

I don't know what I supposedly did to get a prison sentence. My first recall of the dream is being in court and a judge sentencing me to prison time. (Possibly influenced by the movie I was watching before I went to sleep because there was a brief prison moment in the movie.)

The dream is very vivid. I'm led away by a female prison official. I'm carrying a handful of belongings as I've seen done in prison shows when people are led into prison for the first time.

The prison is connected directly to the court room I was in. So I'm led through a door and down a corridor that leads to the prison proper without ever leaving the building. I'm not terribly freaking out. Just a little nervous and frustrated that I have gotten myself into this situation.

The female prison official is talking to me the entire time and instructing me in the way of prison life and what will be expected of me during my time there. I'm led into a room that is a work area and there is a male prison official in charge of prison work explaining the work I'm going to be doing. I can see all of these stacks of carboard piled around  and for some reason the job is going to involve cutting the cardboard with a utility knife in specific ways for whatever purposes the cardboard will be used for. I explain to the prison official that I sometimes have carpal tunnel problems and the cutting of the cardboard might wear in my wrists. He agrees that could be an issue.

I'm lead into another area by the female prison official which is now the kitchen and eating areas. There are other inmates all around. They are smirking at me and sizing me up. It's obvious they are all seeing me as fresh meat to be fucked with. But I ignore all that, I'm not too concerned about them.

The female prison official is explaining to me the dining procedures and other activities. While she is doing so some random prisoner who obviously has a kitchen job preparing meals because of the white jumpsuit and big white fluffy hairnet on his head comes walking up. He is looking at me with a smirk on his face and saying something, obviously talking some kind of shit. But I'm trying to pay attention to what the female prison official is telling me. And I'm having a hard time listening to her, and understand what his is saying to me at the same time.

The female official hands me a piece of paper, and the piece of paper oddly has pictures of prison activity and the recreation area. I guess the paper is like a flyer of information and directions of my prison activities. The official points at the recreation area and explains that this is where I will be confronting and dealing with any prisoners that take up issues with me during the dining period.

And I briefly consider what kind of violent situations I might be getting into. But again for some reason I'm not overly concerned. I'm just like whatever...

Next I'm led to sleeping quarters which are actually kind of nice considering it's prison. It's not really a cell but a long narrow corridor with several levels of bunks all along the side walls of the corridor. The bunks actually look kind of nice with soft mattresses  and a nice little area to put belongings. The shitty part is just being in such close quarters with all these other people. And I'm thinking about how much I'm going to be, and already am, missing my cozy living room tent.

The prison official leaves me to select a bunk and get settled into my knew home. I'm in the process of doing that when I wake up thankful that I'm still actually in my cozy living room tent... And then the weird feeling of remembering I'm in the pandemic apocalypse too and that is not a dream. 




Online Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #236 on: March 22, 2020, 11:34:25 AM »
Saturday/March/21/2020

I went to sleep about midnight and slept about four hours without recall. Then I was up between four and five hours and was getting sleepy again so went back to sleep. The dream I had was extremely vivid but also extremely horrifying and disturbing. I'm not going to describe the details. I can tell the dream was both influenced by emotions surrounding the loss of my little friend and the events of being in this apocalyptic pandemic situation.


And thinking about it, maybe the previous nights prison dream was kind of symbolic of being in this pandemic lock down too. I don't know though. I've had prison dreams before because of fears of what it would be like locked up in one.


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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #237 on: March 23, 2020, 12:12:15 PM »
I think our dreams are mirroring what's happening out there in the world. My dream from last night had these undertones of just being stressful, uncomfortable, unnerving. While science is still uncertain as to why we dream, we at least know that it's often a chance for our brains to sort out the crap we're experiencing while we're awake.

When we dream, we often feel emotions stronger, as the part of our brain that typically controls logic is hibernating (hence why lucidity is so hard for most people - with logic being on shutdown, we are more ready to accept strange things like pink elephants).

I think for many people, if they're noticing an uptick in stressful dreams, it's just the SC trying to process.
What would you do if you were dreaming right now?

Online Caradon

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #238 on: March 24, 2020, 11:22:37 AM »
Yeah it's a good place to get that stuff out where it can't really hurt anyone. I'm actually feeling pretty relaxed for the moment at least. However, the quickly rising numbers of the infected in the area are a little scary. And seeing that even more people are still not taking things seriously and gathering in crowds to help extend the life of this experience. Is kind of scary too, makes one wonder how long it's going to last. 

Sunday/March/22/2020

I had a very brief moment of lucidity during a scary situation as I got caught on this high platform. Well It started as a driving dream where I came across construction. But then  I was on foot and the roads were torn up and I was high up on this piece of ripped apart road with nowhere to go but down. Like I'm high up in the air and there are many levels below me. I'm thinking about trying to jump down to the next level bit it's a bit high to jump.

I have this sudden funny video game thought. I wonder of I have some kind of slow falling spell in my inventory so that I can drop slowly to the next level. But that's when I realize I'm dreaming and can actually jump down no problem. But I wake as soon as I realize it.

Monday/March/23/2020

I've not slept a lot and don't remember much so far. (I don't think I'm done sleeping yet, we'll see.) I remember a false awakening fragment of waking up and taking notes on two dreams. I've been trying to remember what the dreams were that I took notes on during the false awakening but I've not been able to. 

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Re: Caradon's Dream Journal
« Reply #239 on: March 25, 2020, 07:26:53 PM »
Tuesday/March/24/2020

River

Canoeing down a beautiful river through a canyon surrounded by high cliff walls. I think there might be a damn up ahead and I'm a little worried about getting sucked into it. I come to place that isn't a damn exactly, but a waterfall. There isn't much danger even though the current is picking up. I'm able to steer the canoe to the river bank. I find a switchback style of concrete stair case the descends down the cliff near the waterfall. I make my way down the stairs and below is a wide area filled with strip mall type of shops. And lots of people going to and fro from the shops. The area has a very tourist trap type of atmosphere to it. As if people come here from all over to canoe the river and stop and this little shopping area near the falls to purchase memorabilia.

Haunting

Humorous dream. I'm in a house that is haunted by some active and annoying spirit that is trying to scare people. There are several people in the house with me. I see someone running out the door, and away from the house in fear.

I decide enough is enough because I'm not scared. I find and pick up a rubber spatula and begin shouting at the ghost. "Show yourself and come and get a spanking!" I taunt the ghost. And I smack the spatula against my palm. "I'm not at all afraid of you, so why don't you come here and get spanked. Or are you just going to hide invisible in the walls making noise and rattling stuff!" The humorously. "Or maybe you want come and spank me instead? I can switch!" Trying to amuse the people around me.

I'm half expecting to be grabbed by some invisible force and bent over and my pants yanked down, lol. But that doesn't happen. Instead I see this odd looking face appear in the TV screen which is actually turned off. And I hear a voice. "Remove mom" I get some ones attention and motion to the TV screen. I hear the voice again. "Remove mom." "Why?" I ask. Then a slow drawn out trying to be creepy sounding "Because I want to kill her..."

Well, fair enough, I think. Ghost just doesn't like mom for some reason and wants her out of here. I go into the other room and see mom busy doing something with a of people. "Mom." I say, trying to get her attention. She looks at me and says in a really mean crabby tone. "Be quiet can't you see I'm busy!" I'm thinking she is being pretty rude, no wonder the ghost doesn't like her lol. I tell her that we have to leave. She is mostly ignoring me. I tell her again that we have to leave right now. I start putting my jacket on to take mom out of there. I see her getting up and kind of satisfied thinking she is actually listening. But then I wake.

Lacy

I'm home, where I live in reality. Someone is here with me, I don't remember who. Just a random dream character, I think. I suddenly realize I've not seen my friend for a little while, I've been distracted and I'm wondering where she is. And I remember that she is really sick and could be dead at any time. I have that half aware feeling like a part of already knows that she had died, because I have those distressed feelings. But she isn't yet. I know she is around here somewhere. And the house is kind of dark and hard to see.

Playfully I go around looking and calling her name. "Where are you? I can't find you." I look in the bathroom, the light is on. I don't see her anywhere. I say playfully. "Nope not in here. where are you I can't find you."

I walk into the living area and look around, it's hard to see the lights are dim and her fur is dark. But I see her shape curled up in a ball on the over sized dog bed off to the side of the room. "There you are." I say playfully and I go over and touch her head. All the emotions come flooding back and I know she is sick and could be gone at any moment.

I pick her up wrapping her in my arms and she snuggles her head into my chest. Near to tears, I stroke her fur and keep repeating. " I don't want Lacy to die. I don't want lacy to die" I just keep carrying her around tightly in my arms. And even now still marveling at how real she felt holding her. The person that was with me in the house earlier appears and says to me that I might smother her if I'm not careful because of holding her so tight. But I don't want to let go.

I have a false awakening then, almost as if I had know I was dreaming and maybe I did a little bit. And in the false awakening she is no longer here and I fully remember she has already gone. I must have woke up for real shortly after that because I don't remember much else after that.