Weird . . .

[mediabat]

I'm in a dark future without light.  What's left of humanity is at war with the forces of darkness that are taking over:  mutated spiders, wolves, and demons.  I have been contaminated and changed into a demon.  At first I fight with humanity.  The group that I'm with needs to keep constantly moving.  There is a new currency:  the essence of youth that is extracted from children, whereby, the rich can be young and live forever.  This is of no consequence to me now since I will anyway.  Almost nothing can kill me.  I eventual give in to my dark nature, and prow the misty forests, killing humans brutally and in number as the predator that I am.  This was during very light sleep, with dream reentry.  I knew I was sleeping and stayed with it on purpose. 

Wow, this might make a good novel.

I'll try and just push the zombies away since there might be a cure and I don't want to kill anyone if I don't have to.

Aww.. you're nice even to zombies.

[Alex Lou]

My class is getting super stressed over our licensure exam, and anxiety is contagious.  The stress I get about such things is usually very manageable, but last night I found myself most distressed as I went to go to sleep.  I noted that I really was upset, that it felt unpleasant, and decided to do some meditation techniques to calm myself down . . .

Today my brother calls and tells me that he dreamed that I took my final exam, and that I did so well that I didn't have to take the last part of it.  The exam that I'm taking is only 75 questions if you do well, but can be up to 265 if you're not doing so well . . . Apparently my brother didn't even know that I had an exam yet to take, or that it will be shorter if I do well.

I don't really think that it means anything.  But it makes me feel better just the same.

Wow, this might make a good novel.

I get a lot of those.  One of my favorite types of dreams!  . . . but the streak seems to be over.   

[Sunshine]

(content removed by user request)

[Alex Lou]

That dreamy feeling revisited:
I was falling asleep a while back, and I started thinking about the difference between how I feel in dreams and how I feel in reality.  In dreams I feel like I am more real.  I feel more connected to myself, it is everything around me that isn't real.  While awake, I am focused on the world around me.  I lose myself in daily activities, I don't see myself all day long.  I feel like I am less real than the things and places around me.

[Burned up]

That dreamy feeling revisited:
I was falling asleep a while back, and I started thinking about the difference between how I feel in dreams and how I feel in reality.  In dreams I feel like I am more real.  I feel more connected to myself, it is everything around me that isn't real.  While awake, I am focused on the world around me.  I lose myself in daily activities, I don't see myself all day long.  I feel like I am less real than the things and places around me.

Nice to see you again.
Yes, there are too many distractions in waking life to feel connected.  It think.  Wouldn't it be nice to have that connected feeling during daytime too?

[pj]

Hello, Alex!

Yep - I can often relate.

[Alex Lou]

Lots of swimming in an emerald system of rivers flowing through white ruins.  Trying to figure out what to do for the plot; saving a baby from the water, transforming from my mermaid form to walk on the cool marble.  I come across Hercules who is also swimming.  He can jump really high out of the water with his god-strength.  I'm telling him that I enjoy swimming more than anything in lucid dreams, better even than flying.

Influences:
Thinking about the Guadalupe River system in San Jose
Coming across PJ's lucid induction mp3 on my phone
Deleting the fact that I love swimming from a bio on another forum
Wondering if I should label my new centaur costume as being from Greek mythology
Coming across an interesting mermaid costume tutorial online

[Alex Lou]

Dream re-entry about 5 times.  It was bad as far as how much I slept in as a result, but I love playing make-believe with my subconscious.  I was in some alternate history in which industrialization has just been rediscovered.  I'm some vampire-like thing, grateful that at this particular point in time, my kind have a niche in society and I don't have to murder humans in the dark.  Instead my victims are willing and usually survive.  I have some partner who is accountable for me.  He's a bandit; we're thieves together.  He lies to his wife about what I am.  I see the world differently than they do.  I see every detail in a simple movement.  I feel still and at once more in tune with the world and yet removed from it.  I'm ancient, my age is a weight upon me.  I become injured, but refuse to seek treatment.  My partner cuts off my head to insure that I will, and I leave my body in spirit from and walk beside it to a hospital.

[Alex Lou]

I saw some discussion around about studying in lucid dreams (too lazy to find thread) which is something that has been helpful for me in the past and I've been meaning to do more of.  But when I'm sleeping, I don't wanna study.  So maybe if I make a big deal about how I'm gonna do it here, then I actually will. 

I'm thinking that I can create some practice quizzes for myself.  I will study the subject, take the quizzes before going to bed, either dream or not dream about the subject, and take the quizzes the following day.  I will compare my results from the previous night to the following day to see how much I retained or improved.  This way I'll have a pseudo-control and non-control.  It's not real science because the sample size is too small, I'm biased, I may forget that I dreamed about it, etc . . .

Tonight's subject:  dermatology

Very important, Self:  wake up after you dream about dermatology!

[Alex Lou]

I did study in my sleep, same subject, but not the specific bits I picked out last night for the quiz.

Pretest:  29/29
Post-test (after dreams): 28/29

______________________________
And then I tried to get up and had a series of FAs.  Probably because that's what we were talking about in chat last night.

 I wake up and see that it's 5pm.  How did I sleep so long!?  I've missed my whole day and am really upset.  But I feel really groggy.  I think that I must feel this way because I slept so much.  I lay down and as I feel the pull of sleep realize that I'm already asleep, that this is has been an FA.  

I wake again, look at the clock, it's still morning, whew . . .  

Drift of to sleep, wake up.  Am I really awake?  I plug my nose and try to breathe and I can't . . . but I don't trust it.  I try to drive my index finger of my right hand through the the palm of my left and it won't go.  But there's just something not right.  My surroundings don't seem as richly detailed as they should be, and there's just a feeling of stagnation and despair.  Must be a dream, has to be.

I wake up and look at the time.  I don't trust it.  I look at another clock and it's different.  I start freaking out:  what time is it!?  Then I remember that I get freaked out like that about the time in FAs . . . best not to repeat the same mistakes.  I have things to do before my day starts, best to really wake up.  I really concentrate.

I come up against the wall of SP.  My awareness of my dream body struggling to fit inside of my awareness of my real, paralyzed body; wispy white dream hands moving inside of my flesh ones.  I struggle to move, my hands, neck, shoulders twitching.  It's an unbearable sensation, it almost hurts.  I back off, gather my intent for a sec, then throw myself into trying to move again.  I wake up and sit up a few minutes before my alarm was set to go off.

This sequence left me feeling weird later in the day.  As if I'd been living some alternate reality that was just as valid as this one.  As if my life were split between these two realities.

[Alex Lou]

Tonight's pretest:  20/22

[Alex Lou]

Post-test: 21/22
Don't remember studying the subject in dreams. 

Although I did review CPR, yikes!  This is one of the reasons that I like non-lucid dreams:  they make me experience intense emotions ans practice for the real world in a way that I just can't do in lucids.  Of course, usually those emotions will also tip me off to the fact that it's a dream, such as was the case here.  Probably why I don't mind bad emotional dreams, they usually don't get out of hand to the point of being true nightmares.  I love it how all my first-responder stuff is so precise and accurate in dreams.

[Alex Lou]

I am gonna continue with the study on studying.  I just seem to be taking break for the weekend.  If I do WBTB tonight, I'll do it then.  Otherwise, tomorrow.

[Alex Lou]

Pretest:  22/25

[pj]

Watching. . . just want you to know.