::Maya's Lucid Journal::

[DrTechnical]

That was a really great lucid. I grew up living on the Long Island Sound, so I find myself there in my lucids from time to time. I really cherish it, since the ocean is no longer a part of my daily life. It sounds like your experience was very realistic.

You know, there's a fine line between stability, cognitive ability and LD fantasy. As far as stability is concerned, I would say avoid worrying about it. I think the hand rubbing and tactile sensations might help, but the killer is worrying that you will wake.

I also find that my high cognitive LDs are super real, and my more fantasical lucids have lower cognitive recovery. I've heard other people say this. I think it's always a balancing act between the two.

[miss_maya]

wow, there are names for those types of lucidity? Thanks DrTechnical! i've actually never heard those terms before, could you tell me more about them? particularly 'cognitive ability' and 'LD fantasy'..

Lucidity level: 2 (dream level lucid)
Dream sign: boredom.
Reality checks: Somehow knew from how i could just get up and leave..

BUBBLY GREEN BEVERAGES!

I'm with my parents, they are talking to some people about something uninteresting, i get bored and lucid as soon as i realize i can simply walk away. i walk down a street in the city, lots of grey buildings around, and there is still some dim daylight on an overcast evening (probably about 8pm). i walk past the entrance of a nightclub where there are just 3 people including the guard standing outside. I walk further and i feel the urge to fly, i see 3 other people hanging about further down the street. I find an interesting grey church-like building i feel like flying up onto. I fly up the side of it and up on the first platform is another nightclub. I seem to be at the back and fly round the side where there is a cafe-looking section. I can see lots of people inside through the windows. I fly to the front. The entrance seems to join onto a city-suburban street where people have parked their cars. I stand on the footpath and approach the door girl. She asks if i am on the guest list and busts out a huge long list pf peoples names. I say my real last name and even spell the first 3 letters for her. She looks on her list and i can see that i'm not on there. I tell her that's fine as i know i can get in without the need for such things anyway, no need for status in a dream.  i go around and fly in through the back door. i arrive on the middle floor where not much is going on, a lot of girls on this level. I visit downstairs and it seems to be asian night down there, i walk around and consider that there is a 3rd floor, but i don't go there because i have a feeling that its weird up there, i assume that the 3rd floor is not in my taste. Its a bit crowded on the bottom floor so i go back to the middle floor where all the girls are. i wander onto the balcony for a moment and then return inside and i sit on a rectangular soft couch. i notice i just sat among a group of girls attending someones party and at first they are a little awkward about my position, but the waitress suddenly arrives, happily offering these really bubbly aqua green drinks in funky round shot glasses. The drinks look so clear as though the drink is slightly glowing from the inside as the bubbles rise. The girls become so excited about the drinks they forget the awkwardness and i am offered one too. i am politely surprised and accept the drink. As we are about to drink (some of them already gulped theirs down), a pop cover band is about to play. The MC shouts "does anyone know what song we are about to play?!"
i drunkenly shout the first thing that comes to mind "Backstreet boys! LOL!" i'm mocking the MC, but the noise in the nightclub was too loud for the MC to hear. Me and the girls giggle our little tipsy heads off. To my sheer surprise the pop band begins to play just that, a backstreet boys song.. The girl next to me says "what? how did you know they were going to play that?" i shrug. I feel a bit drunk and want to lay down, but before i do, i remember that i still hadn't waxed my legs and underarms IRL which has appeared in this dream, but no one seems to have noticed it, nor can they see it in the dim lighting. There didn't seem to be any good looking guys at this club but i had fun anyway, i think i finally gave in and lay down.

How can i improve: i sure had fun! I still believe there must be a way to have gained more awareness of the details somehow. Perhaps the word i'm looking for is more.. presence.. in the dream. I still stubbornly believe it can be done.
 

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 3 (dream level lucid)
Dream sign: dream feeling.
Reality checks: Pull my fingers.

MISSION: GRANDMAS BIRTHDAY CARD

I seem to realize i am lucid from the start. I'm on a street outside opposite some shops. I decide to re-confirm "i'm dreaming, i'm dreaming", i do an RC briefly and say my mission out loud "My grandmothers birthday card". I will be looking for inspiration for grans birthday card in this dream. I cross the street and look around, its an overcast day, there are shops, and in the distance i see apartment blocks and construction buildings. I decide i will fly to those nice apartments over there, and i take a run up, but suddenly a girl is in my way. I cant for the life of me remember her name now but she was in my high school year level. I stop.. She mockingly walks behind me as i stand completely still, looking at the apartments i want to fly to. However i am so angry at her arrogance. She chose the wrong day to mess with me.. My anger reminds me that i can power up my aura like in the anime i saw last night.. Just like i practiced in bed before sleep.. I still myself and fire up my aura. I feel a bursting energy fill and emit from my body. I become powerful enough to do whatever i need to now. The girl is standing a few meters behind now still mocking me. I turn around stare angrily at her with my aura now changing to orangy-red, wondering what i should do to her. She is still wanting to fight, and just as she is about to move towards me i vanish and teleport to the back of her. This scene is very unclear, but i can see her back and her friend standing next to her. I weakly poke her in the back. I'm not sure what happens, but somehow after that the fighting atmosphere has completely dispersed. I suddenly have no connection to her anymore nor do they have to me..
i turn around and go down the street in the other direction this time. I notice i am carrying some bags, one of them is my large pink shopping bag. I turn the corner to an open concrete area with car park nearby and a local city park further down. I see the apartments again and get the urge to fly there. But before i do that, i need to put down the shopping bags. As this is a dream i know that i really should just drop them and go because its all really just worthless dream stuff, but at the same time i feel attached to whatever might be in those bags. I decide on a compromise and put the bags down on the ground. I cover them with a large black piece of material and promise i will come back to them (although i know they probably won't be there by then, it just comforts me to do so). My hands now free and i look into the distance for the target i wish to fly to. I scan and see a white building with cute sheep painted on it in black paint.
"hmm, thats cute, but i was hoping for something better to put on grandmas birthday card" i look around at something else and see nothing in particular. I look back to that white building and see that they are not sheep anymore, but rabbits (somehow not as cute). So i follow my urge and fly up towards that apartment building. As i fly the sky changes, a fog seems to cover my view completely into cloudy white, i cant see where i am going, but i'm still flying... somewhere, i don't know if i'm upside down or sideways or what.. I try to imagine a sunset sky where i can make out the colorful long clouds which will tell me which way is up or down, but it doesn't last, the scene changes completely.
I am standing in a room behind a green sofa. There are some people around talking about some trivial problems they are having and they leave the room soon after. The whole time i was trying to get myself together, i sense a very mild need to pee and my mind is muddled. I don't know what to do. i just automatically jump up and float above the couch. I still feel muddled and uncomfortable.
I am inside a multi-level car park, i run down the ramp to where the car is parked (i seem to own my mothers car). i feel that slight need to pee but at the same time i feel arousal. walking around wondering what to do, i decide that satisfying the arousal will override my need to pee. I look around wondering what to do, there is no one or nothing around only a very thick yellow railing along the ramp going up to the next level of the car park. I look around and see a very small smoking garden area with a bench at the other end of the car park. [..private data..] the sensation seemed to have increased my lucidity, but once i was finished i decided it was time to wake up.

How i can improve: Uh.. refrain from distracting personal urges? such as flying to apartment buildings when my mission is clearly and urgently to find or make grandma a birthday card! Since her birthday is today...
Places i could have looked are; In the shops, or in my carry bags.. right under my nose.

Comment: I went ahead and made grandma a birthday card with a sheep on it today, although it doesn't resemble the dream sheep AT ALL, she enjoyed it and says she wants to frame it
Heres the photo. Sheep was made from make-up wipes but don't tell grandma.. 

[miss_maya]

pre-note: I think i just had my first successful WILD since joining MM! Thanks MM! The experience wasn't as vivid and "wakeful" as i've experienced back during my SP days, but it sure was interesting.

Lucidity level: 3-6 (varied throughout)
Dream sign: entered via WILD.
Reality checks: none.


UNDERWATER WILD

i'm laying in bed in the morning and notice my body is tired, i keep lightly remembering to meditate while falling asleep in a comfortable position on my back. Arms, legs and head not necessarily straight.. i think i'm asleep now, and i see HI which then turn into vibrating clouds of color in front of my eyes while vibration kicks in. First time i ever felt this type, i'd usually get a much slower one before. i can now feel the vibrations relaxing my physical body further in order to loosen the grip between me and my body. my mind thinks "vibrations" in recognition of what is happening, but i remember that its better not to think to much and soon i should expect SP. Each bit of tension drops away, much like when you sit in a massage chair!

Even though i was expecting SP, instead i'm standing in a scene, my vision slowly becoming clearer. I'm outside in the shade of a large concrete building, built with angular walls much like those brand new universities built by experimental architects. There is a patch of grass and garden areas accross it. I begin to walk and notice... i have my hand down the front of my pants?? I rationalize it by saying i must have fallen asleep with my hand on my leg or something like that.. There are a few people in the near distance, but i walk around the corner without taking my hand out because i (dream logically) conclude that the odd sensation of having my hand there on the bare skin is keeping my dream awareness stable. I quickly walk around the corner to a park but soon walk right back to where i started because i simply cant face these people with my hand down my pants.. I stand at a pillar and decide its probably better to take my hand out and try to stay stable some other way. I hear music coming from the door next to me so i walk in. Inside is the university cafe/bar. The one bar tender there has a black stereo on the windowsill playing an upbeat melodic hardstyle trance mix. I stand there listening to it for a bit. When he approaches i ask him the name of the mix so perhaps i can download it myself, but he teasingly refuses to tell me. He's a pudgy blond guy with piercings, and the demeanor of one who you might think is gay but can't really be sure. I ask him again, if he could write it down for me. He agrees this time and goes to do so.
While i stand there at the side of the bar, i look down and see a ginger cat sitting a meter away. At first i think its my deceased cat, but i notice he has no stripes, just pure creamy ginger. I reach down to pat him and i cant remember what i said, but the cat begins to speak in a serious manner while keeping his head still. O.O He says his name (i cant recall now, it started with 'Sa' and it was a rather long name). It was an odd conversation where i ask him what his name was in his previous life. He said "kicho", which was the nickname of my deceased ginger cat Rudy. i repeat the name "kicho.. so its you after all".. he remained serious yet relaxed throughout our interaction. i dont know what happened next but i'm sitting on one of the bar stools feeling sleepy. I seriously consider laying down on a few of the stools when Charles approaches me. A guy i used to like many years ago. He puts a bed sheet over me and tucks me in as i lay there on the stools at the bar (or what even felt like on top of the bar). I automatically begin to try and WILD, but i can't because i can hear Charles go and speak to his father who says to him,
"Are you sure just having one girlfriend is ok?" implying he should have more than one.. He comes into the bar again with a smaller asian girl, who he tries to get to sit next to me. It doesn't quite work, she has a resistance to it. I think to myself.. "so this is why he suddenly completely lost interest in me, he had another girl.."
I'm now sitting at a soft seating area around a table and looking at an odd damaged silver mannequin sitting in an open storage cupboard, the silver paint is peeling off to reveal a blue color. Meanwhile Charles is trying still to convince the girl to sit next to me, which she uncomfortably does. My attention is completely engaged in admiring how the mannequins face profile has a very beautiful shape. As i continue to stare at it, the silvery mask begins to drop off to reveal a beautiful asian males face. He looks in my direction with an expression of curious loneliness, still half the face is behind a silver mask. The brown irises of his eyes (now fully human and alive) are unusually large making his face even more rare. By this time Charles wants us to go somewhere and is pulling my arm. lol, i have completely lost interest in stupid Charles and want to keep looking at the mannequin boy coming to life, but i can't stop being pulled away, and as i'm leaving, the mannequin boy turns his head in my direction (now with black hair and fully human face), he looks sad that i'm leaving.. i feel something too.

I'm walking down a street and arrive at a courtyard park area surrounded by buildings and shops. It sort of becomes a playground with lots of kids around and as i find a bench to sit on, Beata appears and sits next to me. I think we talk about something that doesn't interest me and i get up to leave. She doesn't want me to go and with some invisible force she pulls me back into the middle of the play area. I don't have patience for these things and counter invisible force with invisible force. I inwardly apologize to Beata, i have to go now, and i shoot myself out of the park.
I walk and walk along the streets, which begin to look like i'm closer to the beach. i see young people hanging out on sand dunes near the grassy areas. I get excited that i'm at the beach again. Immediately i run to the water and get in. i go up to my neck and let the gentle waves rock me. It feels so good that i let my head under water too. It felt so good that breathing didn't matter, i was in another state of mind, i was becoming the water, swaying and rocking i felt sleepy and i dont know how but i began to WILD while i become one with the water.
I briefly feel that my leg is bent, and when i stretch it straight i realize i am stretching my real life leg out in bed. I quickly return to WILDing and re-enter dream.

I'm walking around inside some building, still on the beach front. It looks like some very large bar which looks like a very large creamy walled house. There are some people playing arcade games, and a cigarette vending machine. By this time i was in deep thought about what i really want to do in this dream. I have this unexplainable urge to go to a nice part of Shibuya where i can meet a lot of interesting people, but i remember that i'm not that great at teleportation. Right then and there, i promise to dedicate time in future lucids to master this technique. I look around at the scene and figure, why not give it my best shot anyway.
I stand still and shut my eyes tightly. I imagine the place i want to be, but i also let my imagination guide me. Many images form, and i stop and open my eyes at the first interesting scene i see.

I'm in a very spacious hotel hallway painted in pristine creamy white. There are many doors and i walk through the wall to one room. Its an elegant Victorian style dance room with polished wooden floor. There are some people there dressed in that style, but i'm definitely not in England. They are Japanese people dressed in that style, i believe it is called "Hime" style or something of that sort. I walk out through the wall back into the hallway and think "well.. this isn't the type of Shibuya i was hoping for.."
There are 2 doors to my right and one at the end. I decide to poke my invisible head through each of them. Inside each room sits a "princess" (meaning girl dressed in that style) watching TV. The really funny thing is that all 3 of them in their separate beautifully lace-decorated bedrooms are watching the same sports chanel! lol 

Comment: I now understand what it means to struggle with recall when one has a long lucid. I re-entered dream so often. The above are only the parts i can remember more clearly.

How i can improve: i forgot my moon mission again, but since i now have the goal of mastering teleportation, i might remember it soon..
Hmm, i also didn't RC.. hmm..

[Caradon]

Congratulations! Nicely done. Yesterday I remembered to try rubbing hands together to stay in the WILD, But the movement caused me to wake up before I could even touch my hands together. Next WILD goal for me, put hand down pants. 

[miss_maya]

...Yesterday I remembered to try rubbing hands together to stay in the WILD, But the movement caused me to wake up before I could even touch my hands together. Next WILD goal for me, put hand down pants.  

LoL, this comment made me chuckle all throughout breakfast.

Lucidity level: 3.5
Dream sign: Boredom and dream feeling
Reality checks: something with my hands.

TRAIN OF UNRESOLVED DREAMS

There is a scene where some guy's are swinging on trees, i don't recall much here but this is what my notes say, lol.
After that we are hanging around indoors. No one is doing anything interesting and i become bored. Boredom makes me lucid so i RC. I tell the others i'm going out. They object and tell me that we are to stay inside. I remember how MM dreamers commonly report how DC's object when told it is a dream so i didn't bother arguing. I simply said "Its a dream and i'm going out, cya." and didn't listen to them any further. I open the door and fly away. I briefly fly through a very odd scene, i can see the sky and trees in the background, but i'm seeing it from the angle of a drowning person, dark water splashing up against my vision. This soon changes as i just keep persisting through. I'm soon flying among buildings covered in snow.. snow? well we don't have snow where we live, but i guess its a good time to start liking the cold since its a dream anyway. I allow my dream body to feel the cold, i get a shiver but its not uncomfortable at all, infact its invigorating. For the first time in my life i can say "i like the cold".
I eventually fly into some long warehouse where long pieces of wood are stored. I land in there as it seems difficult to fly in between the wooden racks. I look through a space between some of the wood stacked against a wall, i see that outside is moving very fast. I'm on a train cargo carriage. I move some of the wooden pieces aside and stand on the outer wall of the train as it passes a green foresty area. Some guards up the front see me and shout "invader get off!" The point their guns and shoot. I am bullet proof and move up to the front of the train. One guard/bandit shoots tries to cut me with a knife, i don't want to be violent, but i have no choice but to throw him off. I dont know where the other went. The train stops at a dead end. Which is basically a normal picket fence. I jump over it and see a black man with an interesting afro-ponytail standing in that jungle-looking patch of land.
He warns me not to go over the fence to the left, but i argue with him and fly over it as this is where i want to go. He shouts something after me that makes me stop mid-air.
"You just keep using dreams for your own selfish benefit!"
I turn around and consider that he may have a point.. so i go back to him to see what he needs, but he just starts a fight with me. I have to struggle free and i fly above him shouting "You're the hypocrite!"
I fly further over the hill and land at a little market festival. There are tents and buildings set up for a Baby themed festival. I pleasantly browse a stall of really cute baby goods, cakes and cupcakes. I greet a mother with 2 children in a pram with a smile. I walk further down and stop in my tracks.. Its Brian, my ex. He is running one of the stalls. How weird.. I walk up to him and he greets me with the usual comical greetings. It isn't a deep interaction, it never was his thing. I move on, but i'm now emotionally distraught inside. I try to keep it together, and i go to look at some presentations being held on the oval. However i can't concentrate, he is on my mind. I do my best to compose myself despite hurt, confusion, unexpressed feelings.. I try to ignore his presence a little longer by flying up into the air. I turn around on my way and see him looking out of the window of the building at me flying. His expression a little surprised that i am in the air. This by no means resolves anything, i angrily stomp on the roof of the building, and then jump onto the next roof, and then onto a tree which looks like a gigantic flower and the trunk looks like a leek stalk. I stand on this giant green flower trunk, thinking for a moment, and as i move my hand i notice tiny little harmless cream colored insects where i had just put my hand. Slightly annoyed i fly up again, and in that final instant i suddenly lose all control. I fly directly to where Brian is standing and grab his face, squeezing it painfully saying "You Bastard!! Do you realize what you have done to me!!" I look under my hand and discover its not him, but an old asian man with smaller eyes. I let go in shock and stand down. I say "I'm so sorry uncle" as respectfully as i can, but it doesnt change what i have done, i ask him what i can do to in apology for hurting him. He seems like a patient man and tells me i have to look after his market stall for 2 weeks as punishment. I get to work, with that horribly haunting unresolved feeling staying with me until i wake up.

Comment: Sigh.. a RL incident that is hard to get over can haunt a persons dreams for a long time.

How can i improve: I recon i should have RC'd when i saw Brian, because i lost lucidity when i became overly emotional. I will continue to RC whenever i notice emotion IRL and hope that next time something like this happens in dream i can remain calm and lucid enough to find the best dream resolution.

[Higurashi]

I tell the others i'm going out. They object and tell me that we are to stay inside. I remember how MM dreamers commonly report how DC's object when told it is a dream so i didn't bother arguing. I simply said "Its a dream and i'm going out, cya." and didn't listen to them any further.

Good job there. I have a hard time ignoring my dream characters, I not usually able to get past them.

Some guards up the front see me and shout "invader get off!" They point their guns and shoot.

Fools

He warns me not to go over the fence to the left, but i argue with him and fly over it as this is where i want to go. He shouts something after me that makes me stop mid-air.
"You just keep using dreams for your own selfish benefit!"

O__o That's an eye-opener. Too bad he didn't turn out to be special...

I get to work, with that horribly haunting unresolved feeling staying with me until i wake up.

And NICE NEW AVATAR!!!!

[miss_maya]

And NICE NEW AVATAR!!!!

teehee, this Killua from Hunter x Hunter anime. I somehow relate to how this character often feels.

Had to wake up really early today to drive my mother while her car is at the mechanic.

FA - I get roused by the familiar sounds of my mother getting ready in the bathroom. She reminded me last night that she wants me to drive her somewhere this morning.
I wake up for real and there is no one in the bathroom yet, its still too early...

[miss_maya]

During today's nap:

Lucidity level: 7 (just darn convincing)
Dream sign: none.
Reality checks: none.

RON PAYS A VISIT

I'm using photoshop to mess with my avatar and i get up for a break. I walk into the dining room and most of the lights are off... Ron is in the dining room waiting for me.
"Hey Ron, when did you get here?" i ask in total surprise,
"I tried to talk to you but you were all ..(twirls finger in the air) off with the fairies" he acts out a spacy version of me.
A few candles on the table are the only light in the room.
"Oh, hehe, sorry, i get like that sometimes" guilty as charged for often being spaced out. He has come over so that we can go to meditation together, and is naturally expecting me to be ready to go, as though we've gone together before.
"and by the way how did you get in?"
"Your door was open" replies ron. Without seeing around the corner i could tell that our main door was open, cool evening air entering into the house through the security door.
"hahah, ok, i'll go and get changed for meditation, be right back"
Its about half past 7. Without much thought i went upstairs to get changed.
FA - I find myself in bed thinking, what if i sleep too long during this nap, i might wake up late for meditation.
I wake up for real and its only 3pm and sunny.

Comment: LOL, Ron is my Reiki master. He's probably the most powerful spiritual person i've ever had the chance to get to know. What i mean by powerful is that i used to be able to feel the guy's aura from meters away, he's also made some accurate predictions about me.
However he's been very busy these days working night shifts so doesn't often come to meditation anymore.
I will literally FLIP OUT if he does show up at meditation tonight. lol!

How i can improve: It would have been pretty kool if i realized i was dreaming in such a life-like dream. Honestly was convinced it was really happening, even though Ron's never been to my house before.

[miss_maya]

Interesting.. They told me Ron was supposed to join meditation that night, but something came up and he didn't come. He came the next day. yay!

Lucidity level: 3
Dream sign: re-appearing clothes.
Reality checks: none.

FLYING GEEKS

Me and mum moved into a new place, looks a bit like Ivanhoe area. I walk down the street and every single house has cats, either in it or out the front. I finally stop at one house where the kitty walks out of the gate. Its grey with big blue eyes. I pat it.

I walk from an indoor car park into a swimming pool facility through some glass doors. Gabrielle is in the water. She tells me to hurry up and get changed so we can swim. I have a backpack with me which i take to the change rooms. I settle down and take my jumper off. I notice i'm wearing a school uniform, knee high socks, short darker blue skirt, and lighter blue shirt. For some reason i decide to pull the socks up and my skirt to an extremely short level and admire the result in the mirror. A friend of mine comments, but i don't really care, i think it looks cute. I look back in the mirror and i see an extra layer of clothing on. An open button school dress with the buttons open is draped over my whole outfit. Grr dream clothes.. I take it off. I just want to go back to the swimming pool. I try one door but its an elevator, i try another and it is an elevator too. I get really frustrated, and return to another mirror. I notice i still have too much clothes on! Its a challenge taking dream clothes off, it takes a lot of concentration. I'm so frustrated that i finally get down to my nude and have to make a few dream adjustments to the resulting body while looking in the mirror, one of which is a huge pubic hair patch, which i simply pull off like a wig. The final result looked normal and i want to admire it for a bit. Occasionally a DC walks in or out of the change rooms, but i dont really care. Whenever i draw my attention back to my body i seem to have clothes on, and i keep having to return to the mirror to struggle to take them off. I fet quite frustrated at this, so i begin to rip the clothes to get them off, they are dream clothes after all.
I find myself suddenly out doors at the back of some house. The house is empty and its just a dream house so i go to the window to see my reflection to keep trying to take my clothes off. The first window i barely see anything. I check the sunlight and the next window seems to reflect my image a bit better at this angle in the sun. I proceed to take layers off, and rip some of it, but they just keep coming back. After much frustration i go around the back of the house. On the other side of this house i see my geeky friend Seamew and one of his friends sitting at a picnic table after having a bbq enjoying the view. They greet me and ask me whats wrong. I tell them exactly my problem "i wanted to go swimming, i keep trying to take my dream clothes off, but they just keep coming back!". Seamew's friend is the first to get up, he resembles Howard from 'Big Bang Theory' sitcom. He says "i have an idea!" and he begins to fly. Momentarily i'm so surprised at this, i fly up also. He comes near me and telepathically suggests that we have lucid flying sex. I telepathically kind of only half agree to the idea. I still have all that sexual energy but i dont really want to have sex with this guy. We automatically settle for a compromise. I telepathically agree that he will show me how to fly properly in lucid dreams, while he gets to hold onto me. I'm still shocked at how he can be so lucid and wonder, is this a DC? a lucid dreamer??
Anyway we begin to fly. The height, speed and stability is amazing like we are being propelled by a jet. I'm looking out at the scenery, we are flying over houses and over streets without effort, with strong force actually, i'm really amazed, but as soon as i notice my amazement i also notice the price i payed for it. This guy is still holding onto me, biting/licking my neck in his own sexual ecstacy, rubbing up against me. I begin to feel a little depressed at how i could let myself be sold so cheaply. I look out onto the streets as he does his thing while flying, feeling shamefully pitiful at having allowed this. He suddenly gives a last jerk on the side of my hip and i know he had just ejaculated in his pants.. I'm not very surprised. He looks up at me with a guilty face and asks me where i want to go (to try and cover what just happened). In fact, there is something i want him to help me do. Since he is so good at flying, i point to some houses on a large hill. i say "i've never been able to get over hills like that in dreams". He says "Easy, no problem" and fly's me up that hill. There are 3 segments to choose from (easy, medium and difficult). The easy had one black house on it, the difficult side of the hill had many black houses on it. He points to the middle one. His flying is slightly weaker than before, but he is very confident in this task. We almost get over the hill when suddenly we end up inside the house. I stand there and the care taker greets me, explaining that this house is for wrestling sea monsters. I look around and the geeky guy is nowhere to be seen. I explain that i just want to go in that direction. I point to the direction which goes over the hill, and the very kind care taker takes me there explaining that this is the town of sea monsters. We part at the street. Indeed the houses look slightly different but there is no one around. I begin to fly down the street, i try to imitate the geeky boy's flying skill, but my energy is not as strong. Perhaps it will take some practice. I see a beautiful park on the way with weeping willows overlooking a large lake. I also approach a decorative creamy colored building with many offerings inside it, kind of looks like a small public Buddhist temple. "I didnt know sea monsters where Buddhist.." i continue to fly up i wake.

Comment: I dont know why, but Burned up's avatar comes to mind when i think about that nerdy flying guy.

How i can improve: I had this idea which might save me some frustration. Perhaps aummoning clothing, or in my case summoning nudity might be a bit quicker, instead of doing it the old fashion way.

Need to get my lucids strong again, i havn't been cognitive enough lately to remember any missions.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 3 (lowish level)
Dream sign: flying and remembering a mission.
Reality checks: none.

DONT GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS

Something about hanging around magic school (familiar dream place), i fly in and out. I fly around a supermarket and look at the hot dogs there, i'm so hungry i want a really big one with everything in it, i know since i'm dreaming i can get whatever i want. Mum and dad are paying for something at the counter.

There is a fighting competition on in a large building, like a tournament of some kind, lots and lots of contestants are in it, i'm not sure if i'm an observer or not, but i look around at them all. i see Hisoka is there among them in the distance. All kinds of people including aliens of all kinds keep teleporting in to sign up. 1 alien teleports in and is confused about what is going on, the guards find him and sort the confusion out.
There is a special platform where a contestant stands on one end and is permitted to summon the one person they really wish to fight. I see a pink alien guy summon Freeza from Dragon Ball, he wants his revenge. Freeza appears and rudely refuses to fight, but the rules of the competition say that once summoned he has no choice but to fight the contestant. What anime nostalgia!
One special lady in disguise arrives as a contestant, she wears sunglasses, a hat and some black clothing. She has long black wavy hair, and i suddenly recognise her.. Its my mother when she was my age!!
i wake !

I'm in some boring scene i cant remember, so i start flying. I fly above some houses and remember the technique i learned in yesterdays lucid. I remembered that the guy flew with just his energy, no flapping or paddling. So i concentrate on this, keeping my body straight and my arms to the side. I fly higher and the faster i go the harder it is to keep my arms out to the sides (dont know why i even did that). It seems to be working, i'm able to fly high enough that i can see the city and the sea from where i am kilometers away. I'm so high that its a little frightening. i decide to fly at this level for a while towards the city. I remember my mission to visit Japan and realize that i'm flying the wrong way. The airport and Japan are north from the city.. but can i really fly there? is there enough dream time? hmm, should i teleport there? crap i'm still not so great at that...
I land on top of a tall city building, i'm really high now but there are still 2 buildings taller than this. I fly onto some bridge-like platforms and fly to the second highest building. I concentrate on that flying energy some more and manage to get to the top.
One last tallest building to go. I'll be able to see my direction clearly from there. I jump and fly up to it, but as i rise up, and when almost there i lose the dream..
I'm on the ground in some random scene so i immediately try plan B, which is to teleport to my destination. I close my eyes and imagine a street i can remember during my last RL trips to Japan.
I see myself walking down a street and i can see blossom trees lining the street.
I'm disappointed, its not the real Japan because its actually spring here in Australia, and summer in Japan right now, no blossoms duh. I decide i'll check things out anyway.
Japanese people indeed live on this street, but its definitely not Japan or even the right location. I think about looking in some of the houses as i pass by, but what for.. i'm not in the mood to intrude. In my disappointment i feel hopeless and let the dream go however it wants..

To be Continued in non-lucid Journal

Fragment: I am standing on some balcony when i realize its vivid and i'm dreaming, before the dream gets a chance to disappear i grab the balustrade and touch it, hitting it and feeling how solidly real it feels, the scene became drastically and solidly realistic but.. i dont remember after that.

How i can improve: The flying to Japan thing has been a recurring dream for many years now, way before i learned to be lucid. Must not give up. Must persevere.. I got just that little bit closer this time due to a bit of lucidity.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 4
Dream sign: remembering a mission.
Reality checks: pull finger.

FLYING ENERGY EXPERIMENT

I arrive with Will at his friends house. She's a really funky girl our age with a colorful yet clean artistic taste in decorating. She isn't home yet, but later we somehow end up at the back of their house where we find out that she owns another house at the back, which will be vacant for a week. I half-seriously say that i'll stay there during that time. Will heard me and goes in with them. He comes back to tell me how much the rent is. Its shockingly high even for the both of us. I put my head back and say "ah well". On my way back to the house i see something small on top of the clothes line. At first the thing on the back of the mini toy truck looks like an audio jack floating in between the 2 ends, but on closer inspection, its actually a little rocket floating suspended between the back and front. I pick up this small impressive toy and want to take it back inside the house to the child who owns it. As i step up onto the back steps i notice something up with the weather. I look back and see one giant dark grey cloud growing larger against an otherwise sunny bright sky. It becomes huge, round and menacing, i wonder what could have caused it, i see a gigantic automatic crane appear to put out the fire that is going on inside a high rise building. I'm now among the roofs of high buildings. The crane (with arm twice as long as a high rise construction crane) moves as fast as someones real arm and plants itself at the best position to put water on the fire. However that doesn't seem to be its intention. I'm informed that the crane is going to cause precipitation. As soon as i hear this from my friend we retreat indoors so that we dont get rained on.
I sit on their staircase while watching the conversation inside, Everything in this house has a brand new stylish-modern feel to it. It begins to rain outside. A few seconds later, this warm yellow laser light shines through the window behind me. It lights up the stairway in thin horizontal yellow laser stripes. It seems to be coming from where the crane is. The stripes of light feel as warm as sun rays against my skin, it feels so wonderful that i take off my shirt to feel these warm rays against more parts of my body. So warm. I become aroused and the DC's in the house (very different people to before) are very open to my advances. After a bit of playing around, i suddenly stop and remember my recent mission to see whether sexual energy will strengthen my flying abilities. I stare at a wall with various colorful artworks on it while i think about this and stabilize my cravings. I still have enough sexual energy stored to try the experiment. I go out onto the driveway and RC. Its been a long time since i actually pulled my finger, but it works. Stretches like rubber.
Ok so now to the experiment. I concentrate on moving my sexual energy downwards so that it will propel me up. Without moving a limb i begin to rise.
Above the houses, above the trees, and i can make out the horizon with the sea. On my way i see beautifully colorful tropical flowers on one bush.
I begin to move my arms to change my direction, which works but doesn't feel so right to move. I soon turn around and see a slightly less beautiful scene of a train station and buildings surrounding it covered with vivid colorful graffiti.
wake up.

Comments: i think the mini toy rocket was a miniature clue reminding me to go to the moon.

How i can improve: I think i was on the right track, but perhaps its not just sexual energy that can propel flight, i recall a few other dreams where i was propelled from the navel and the strongest flight dream was propelled from the heart area. Perhaps it is a combination of these which makes good strong flight. I will continue to experiment.
Anyways it gives me something to do with those compulsive low lucid sex dreams.

[miss_maya]

AIR OF NIGHTMARE

omg, i had my first lucid nightmare.. It was so darn real/vivid that i totally didn't realize i was dreaming. I'd give this a vividness score of 7.5 out of 10. I just can't seem to describe how it felt in writing, so here is just the bones of it.

i was crossing a double street at night and there were no people, i'm not sure if i crossed at a green or red, but as i'm on the road i notice a dark slow moving train approaching. I speed up my crossing so not to get in its way. I get to the other side and it somehow ends up following me, which was weird.
I'm in my house at night and only the staircase light is on (it lights up most of the house anyway). I go up the stairs and a very angry invisible crazy person is throwing all kinds of stuff from my bedroom all over the house like an annoying poltergeist. I sense the dangerous vibe and want to leave through the back door, but the air outside is so thick and blurry that i get violently pushed back into the house somehow. The attacker appears. Sometimes he's invisible, trying to get at me, other times throwing me about, sometimes getting me in a head lock. Other times he's visible and wants to cut me with a box cutting knife. I have some blood on my leg already from the struggle. It all moves so amazingly fast that i hardly had any time to think let alone get lucid or do an RC. Another time i try to escape through the front door, the light is on outside, but the crazy energy is even more thick out there and i'm thrown back into the house again with the murderer. The only thing i can compare this particular energy to IRL is reaching ones hand out of the window of a fast flying airplane, the air hits you. It was like reality was being jolted constantly at high speed, causing the air to be speed-blurred and very tangible like the airplane air just described.
Anyway i'm still trying to think of ways to overcome the murderer as i move about the house. Fear of death is not important. The attacker laughs when i get thrown back into the house. i begin to get a little lucid in my escape attempts and begin to think at high speed, i summon Archangels, God, Buddha, i do it very strongly. It briefly puts me in a place of total darkness with one light shining onto the ground, which i stare at while i continue to summon and think of possible solutions. Its like i was simultaneously there and inside the house at the same time.. with the attacker still perusing. My awareness comes back into the house as the attacker gets close. Finally i come across the magical words that awaken me as the murderer tries again to grab me.
"mum and dad" i say out loud, but the word which really works is "dad" in my native tongue. i wake up IRL uttering the word out loud inside my mouth. Something about the way my heart opened up as i said it gives me a clue..

Comments:

Rule number 1# Upon waking, do not externalize any part of the nightmare. Do an RC IRL and once you are sure you're awake realize there is no more threat in reality (like someone waiting in the dark while you are on the way to the toilet etc.) Realize it is all inside you, even the attacker is a creation of your own mind, no matter how real/vivid it was. (This may sound like basic news to those of you who are experienced, but i found it helpful in dealing with the irrational fear that follows when one wakes up, i had to remind myself a few times actually).

Instead of becoming afraid, i lay there analyzing. If i hadn't have known better that it was a lucid, i may have been very scared due to the dreams sheer vividness, but having some experience allowed me to think clearly. I could have easily have gone downstairs and woke up someone, but i realize i've just been a bit stressed out over something IRL lately, so i chose to stay put and overcome it.
Instead of writing the dream down, i developed a Battle Plan for the next time i have a lucid nightmare similar to this one.

Nightmare self-defense suggestions for helpless situations:
- Say a prayer (say it from the heart, dont worry the words) and be strong.
- Summon Angels, God, Buddha, Uncle Tom (whoever makes you open your heart)
- Become insubstantial (realize you are a dream body, they can pass through you)
- Pure Mind Meditation (similar to above, but its more like entering a clarity of mind state, anything can happen)
- LaBerge mentioned something about overcoming and merging with the threatening entity, i'm still not sure what he means, but i assume it happens after you disarm it.
- Learn fight instead of flight, but also learn to discriminate when its not worth fighting.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 7
Dream sign: dream fade and vivid return.
Reality checks: rub hands together.

USUAL MISSION?: YET TO ACCOMPLISH

Fragments: there were lots of dreams before this i struggle to recall, one bit i remember is that i was out somewhere and having a lot of fun, i almost raised my arms in joy when i realized i still haven't de-haired my legs and underarms.

I was sitting and chatting with 2 young business men, and they were talking about a particular street in the city which they liked because it had really good businesses and good bars to go to. I recalled which street it was in my mind, recognize i've been there before and that i've always wanted to live in the apartment building there. So naturally i said "i like that street too"
"oh you know it?" they say,
"something like that" i reply.
We all decide to actually go to one of the bars there, its an upstairs bar, very cozy more like a coffee lounge feel to it than a bar, and the staff are super friendly.
We leave the bar and as we are leaving i see the staff through a staff room door. The kitchen staff to my surprise are Japanese women young and old. As we walk further down the stairs i notice the rest of the building are also shops and things owned by Japanese people, like a mini area of our city where they all live around. For a moment i consider putting my resume in or asking for a job, but i'll do it another time.
I walk around a lot in this dream, down the street, walk in and out of an asian grocery store etc.

I walk down the street of some houses. I walk to the back of one house, which i recognize as Seamew's friends house. I stand there staring at a wire fence which is going along the side of the house. There is a pathway behind it and there is a gap which can fit one slim person at the end. I stare at this gap thinking "why would someone leave such a gap in their back fence. Any kid can just get in and out.." A bike is nearby and i don't know why but i randomly imagine that the guy who lived there must have had to throw the bike over the fence before going through the gap then riding off.
I finally decide to go through the gap since there is nowhere else interesting to go, and once on the other side i can't see properly so i put my hand on the wall to stop from fainting. The moment i sense the touch of the wall, the sensation becomes so vivid. I clap my hands together and and rub. The dream becomes heaps clearer, i'm dreaming oh ok. So i walk around to the front of the house and look at the next set of houses. They are brand new units, and since i'm on a suburban street and nothing else interesting is around, i go into one of these new houses.
I go in and meet the owners, who invited me in so expectantly because apparently i was already invited earlier, to join them for a sex party they are going to have later on. I didn't feel embarrassed or too odd because they were just so friendly and acting totally natural. There were 2 kinda chubby Australian women in their 30's running it. They were fully clothed casually hanging about the house waiting for someone else to arrive. I looked around and although i momentarily considered it, i had to be honest with myself. I dont really want sex, not with these people anyway. So i idle around, and then find them sitting on the couch. They are chatting about something and i decide for the first time in my lucid life to actually talk with DC's about dreaming.
"Did you know that this is a dream?" they pause for a moment,
"heheh, what do you mean?" they think i'm talking metaphorically, so i lead them on.
"For example, ask yourself right now, are you dreaming?" i point to each one for their answer. One says "no" strongly, the next one says "i don't know" and another stays silent wanting to hear more.
"Well this is actually a dream we are all in right now. If you think you are not dreaming, can you prove it for me please?" they start looking around and talking about how you might prove it, but they seem to be way off. I tell them "look i'll prove its a dream now", and i jump into the air to float around the room.
They become excited, chatter and laugh, they want to know how to do that too, they want to know more. Just to solidify the proof before i begin to teach, i fly around the wall dividing that room and the kitchen 3 times. While i pass the hallway i see the father and his son (in his late 20's) about to head out. They briefly pause to look at me.
I ask them "Do you want to fly too?" the father takes a pass on it, so i ask the son, he also declines. What unenthusiastic people, i try to liven them up by saying "come on, its fun, you can fly too, i'll teach you", they begin to look slightly annoyed and bothered and head for the door. I notice their unwillingness fully now, in fact their blunt ignorance breaks my heart. They see it right in front of their eyes yet they are still blind to it.. (much like many "sleep walkers" i see IRL) I watch them walk down the driveway and my heart sinks remembering the kind of society we live in.
The party inside is going swell, their spirits have lifted and i totally made them forget about sex.  
I walk out of the front door and the dream fades. As it fades i think "oh no, i still had things i wanted to do! not now!" and quickly clapped my hands together to rub them. I recall a brief flash of being in my bed rubbing hands (in a FA) and success! i'm back in the same dream in the drive way! yay! i never managed this sort of thing so efficiently before.
Ok so now that i'm back i dont want to waste any time. I jump in the air and paddle upwards like a frog. Without any thought, i already know my goal. Its the same goal as always. I look into the blue sky and chant "Dear God of wind, God of the sun, Take me to Japan." over and over again. I expected the power of wind and energy of the sun to sweep me up and take me flying swiftly to where i need to go, but nothing happened.
OK, plan B, i probably shouldn't be paddling, what a bad habit! I concentrate on emitting energy from the base of my body to propel me upwards. It works only until i start to realize that at this rate i'm not going to get to my goal in time.. I'm still chanting during all of this.. Plan C, teleportaion. I close my eyes and need to concentrate on a place i've been to IRL Japan, but i cant think of any because i'm busy concentrating on flying and chanting, in fact the more i think, the less i stay in the air. So i frantically keep trying to imagine that place while i let myself fall to the ground. i get much closer to the ground and still haven't visualized it damn!... I lose the dream in the midst of visualizing and falling, its too late, i made it too complicated and confusing.
LOL, when will i remember to do things one at a time..

Comment: Surprised how well i handled the DC conversation, i'm so glad i had them interested and open to the topic! I'm pretty sure its because i spoke to them like humans and not like DC's.

How can i improve: sigh, old habits die hard. I've been attempting to fly to Japan in my dreams years before i learned how to lucid. Lucidity is allowing me to experiment with other ways to achieve this personal mission, but it seems to take some effort to overcome all those past failures. I know why i keep stuffing up.. its because i'm so used to it.
I need to rehearse and incubate a successful version of this dream. i'll look over old photos and scenes i want to visit, perhaps that temple where we listened to a monk chanting might be a good place to start. Next time i think of this mission in a dream, i will settle and take my time in concentrating.
Teleportation or portals are the only other ways i can think of to get there right now, they are challenging. If this keeps failing, i may resort to taking an airplane..  

[DrTechnical]

That was a fun lucid. Next time, try the sex party .

But seriously, I know it can be tough to get a good response from a DC, especially when you challenge them with the brutal reality that it's a dream. This never goes too well for me, and I've more or less given up on that type of DC interaction.

The teleportation technique which sometimes works for me, is passing through a wall and imagining the target location on the other side. You might give that a try. I've nailed it quite a few times, totally cool.