::Maya's Lucid Journal::

[miss_maya]

Update: 25th October 09

SUPPOSED TO BE EASY

I'm riding on a train or tram with some people i know, and i see the stop i want to get off at, but i wait until the next stop to get off, because it should be fine to get to my destination from there too. When i get off its a little further than i thought but i decided i can still fly there. I fly up and see where i want to go, its a university located slightly back towards the stop i had missed before. I keep flying but it becomes a hard time. I try to pull the scene towards me with my hands, which only works a little, then i try to claw forwards along the vivid looking grass, which only works a little. I finally try imagining theres a rope and pull myself towards my destination.. i think "hey.. this is supposed to be easy!!"
i wake up needing to pee.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 6.5
Dream sign: change in surroundings.
Reality checks: awareness of odd surroundings.

EMO GIRL GOES HOME

Walking around suburban streets.
The area i walk to becomes a nice street with nice clean houses. I fly along the footpath and notice how the top of the railing is really rainbow colorful like this one bracelet i have IRL. It alerts me that its a dream and i become so happy. I'm too happy to change anything in this dream and just enjoy the moment, just flying along.
I arrive at a playground and reach the monkey bars where i begin to do chin ups for no reason (just something i can't easily do IRL). I stop and gaze at the sky.. i wonder how i can prove that this really is a dream, the sky has a big grey cloud on the horizon and everything looks normal. I test the dream by doing something which i'd find difficult IRL. I lift myself up on top of the monkey bar (my arms are normally weak and skinny), here i find it quite easy. I do a flip and somehow avoid getting my face in the dirt. When i'm back up again my cousin P is on the bar next to mine. He wants me to show him to do more flips, but i don't feel like it. I just keep staring into the open field watching people here and there.
I somehow begin to fly and sing an improvised song, half Japanese half English. I see young people below me. I'm singing about them, how they are a beautiful garden of flowers on the ground below. Which is how i perceive them from here. However i also sing that there are not many trees in this garden, and i have this irresistible urge to fly among trees. Which appear in front of me as a forest. I fly into it and soon i am surrounded by trees. Still singing, I soon feel over crowded and want to fly back out, which is quite challenging. I manage to find the football field of the park i was previously at. I land for a short rest, feeling the freedom of being in the open again.
I fly up again and suddenly notice something is dragging me and slowing me down. its not the usual tiredness i get in dreams, i feel fine. I keep trying, pushing harder and faster. it doesn't seem to work, and suddenly i think to look behind me. I hadn't noticed before, but a fat girl has been holding onto me the whole time. She has black hair and black and purple clothing (kind of emo). I ask her "who are you?" She tells me something which gives me no real answer.  We land on the ground and i ask her again, this time holding her shoulders and looking directly at her "What part of me are you?" (knowing its a DC) She looks confused and goes silent. i say "I know you know, just tell me"
She works around the question, but does not deny that she is part of me. i say "just give me a clue, i can work out the rest" We begin to have this abstract conversation which leads to a description of a mildly disturbing scene which would normally make me feel like fainting IRL. She was describing it like she was the one about to faint. I stop her right there, i have my clue.. This DC exists with some relation to my fainting condition. The depressed looking fat girl need speak no more, i pick her up and carry her. I just automatically know where i am supposed to take her. I carry her through a door in a large wall where the people have to show their ID and tickets. Since i know its a dream i don't have to show any tickets or anything i just walk straight through. On the other side of the large wall, i walk towards the right. To the left there are some terrorists mucking about. I keep carrying the girl to some place where she is meant to be... unfortunately i don't remember where..

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 8
Dream sign: Sudden vivid awakening in new scene.
Reality checks: pull finger.

LEMME RIDE A GUNDAM

Non-lucid Fragment: I watch Trey or David draw something very elaborate in pencil and he's using an eraser to make some lines look smoother..

Me and my parents are exploring a tourist village somewhere. There's this open air restaurant with many levels and balconies on the side of a hill. It's quite busy and lit up with many colorful lights. My mother, grandma and i go in and enjoy some drinks. mum is playfully entertained with her drink. When she places it against something cold, like another cup full of ice, the drink magically cools down (condensation and all). At the same time one of the decoration lights above her would turn green or blue. When she places the drink on something hot, the drink would warm up and the light would turn yellow or orange. She does this back and forth a few times, even getting the waiter to come and watch. I become a little embarrassed at how overly-enthusiastic she is being in public. I'm quite aware that magic drinks are commonly served here.

I think i may have walked from there to an area near the sea. i stand and admire the water from the beach. There are cliffs nearby. I watch the sea waves form. The more i keep looking at it the higher the waves get. Everyone else has already left since the waves had gotten so high, but i stand there, no need to move, for i know the waves are only doing this because the water is connected to my mind.
I just let it happen, i relax my mind and let the waves to just form and distort however they want. There were some impressive tsunami sized ones, but i just stood there, they did no damage as they swept the shore.. More warped gigantic waves form, they wash over me many times, but i just stood there looking forward.. unaffected. Knowing if i just keep looking straight ahead the wave will simply pass. And they did. Quite interesting was being inside one of these waves as it passes over me. I feel surrounded by the greeny rushing, blinding water covering my head and face, yet i'm so grounded. It passes and another wave comes. I enter it again.. this time i don't recall coming out the other side.
I'm suddenly standing underneath a veranda facing some generic building. Totally aware, totally lucid, "how'd i get here?" i RC by putting my hands up in front of me to pull my finger. I don't remember what i did with my fingers now, but i recognize that i am unmistakably dreaming, and appreciate how clearly i seem to be thinking.
I walk around the corner to the garden, the first thing i want to do is meet someone. i call out "hello! is anybody here?" i walk around and there's no reply. i call again this time louder... "hello! is anybody here?" ..why do i have an American accent? lol.
I decide to have some fun and call out in Japanese "Dareka! aruno?.." [subtitles: is anything here] ..oops, i immediately correct my grammatical mistake and call "Dareka iruno!??" [someone here??]
still no answer, but i begin to sense a presence. I walk around this garden which leads back to this house, from the edge of a cliff i can see the sea. I keep calling out in Japanese.. and for some reason i hear music which i begin singing to, in Japanese (no idea what the words were, just improv). 
As i look out to the sea, i hear a faint violin playing to my song. I want to hear it louder so i put my hands up in a way you would hold a violin and start playing my invisible violin (hoping it might lucidly turn into a visible one). It takes a while and a bit of concentration, but i manage to play my invisible yet tactile violin and make the beautiful music louder. Meanwhile something is happening as i play. A person appears nearby silently watching myself and what is happening on the side of the cliffs below us. I keep playing..
A gigantic metal door opens on the cliff side (few 100 meters below is the sea), i keep playing, and out comes something which is supposed to be a Gundam!? i seem to be making it unfold and it gets taller as it stands up. I get excited and hope to be able to eventually jump into it and ride/control it. The onlooker simply stands and watches. I get the feeling it is the owner of the gundam robot standing below me.
I concentrate on making the gundam bigger and grand looking with wings and everything, but for some reason it stops forming about 3/4 my intended height.. its shape is too rounded and not tall enough for me to jump onto from where i am standing.. It just stands there ankle deep in water (still an impressive gigantic height).
I now stop playing my invisible violin as nothing i seem to do is working on the gundam anymore, and look at the person near me. She is a Japanese lady who takes me to meet someone. We walk up some stairs to a nice balcony belonging to a house on the side of a hill overlooking the sea. On the balcony sits a young man drinking with his friends. I'm introduced to him and he begins to show me some rather cool small gadgets. While he is talking i check him out to see if he's good looking, he's pretty average to my taste, so i just watch their futuristic gadget demonstration. He and the lady ask me if i am impressed and i politely say i am, in truth, i am mildly offended that although very polite, they are treating me like such an foreigner..

wake

Recurring Fragment:
(Its the 3rd time this week i've dreamt of a woman screaming for her life.. whats going on?)
A woman seems to be sexually tortured and is screaming for her life. I see strange utensils and i hear a lot of metal repeatedly banging against itself. It wakes me up.

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 7 (for the brief toilet moments)
Dream sign: Seem to have known it all along.
Reality checks: I'm obviously sleeping in bed and shouldn't pee.

CAN I RLY PEE IN A VIVID LUCID?

I'm at a school and i'm one of the students. Its the end of term and we are running around enjoying no more classes. I enter a classroom where Trevor the black man from the previous dream is the teacher of the class. I have the knowledge that he had not been a very nice teacher. He tells the class (mostly girls) that he has a surprise for them upstairs. Sort of an attempt to make up for being a bad teacher. He tells them he has brought ponies for them to play with and that they are waiting on the second floor (everyone gets excited). As soon as he finishes i reply.. "No there isn't.."
The students become awkwardly confused and Trevor goes angrily silent. I casually float across the room. I have a clear gut feeling that he is not telling the truth and i sense no ponies upstairs. I keep floating out of the classroom and decide (despite my clear intuition) its probably best if i actually check if there are ponies upstairs or not. Just as i thought, the rooms above are empty. I float back down and feel like doing something interesting (lucid) the only annoying thing is that i don't think it will be a very comfortable dream since i need to pee.
I float into some toilets thinking "ok i'm lucid now" and i vividly feel the solidity of the door to the toilets. In the first cubicle there are 2 adults having sex standing up, i go to the next one and i know i can concentrate on making this as real as possible if i want.. but then i question "can i really relieve myself in a lucid dream??" i really don't want to have to wake up right now, so i give it a shot and open the first toilet to see that it is not a real toilet. I quickly go to the next one, and this one looks real enough to pee in, but at the last minute, i think "truly, i'd better wake myself up to pee and then i can return to sleep and have a more pleasant lucid dream afterward.."
So i go through the whole SP experience in reverse till i'm awake
i go to the toilet IRL.
..Only drawback to my plan is that its morning and i wasn't sleepy anymore..

[DrTechnical]

Risky question.

I personally would suggest against it. If it were me, I would have went back to that first stall.

[miss_maya]

lol, i answered my own question in a lucid today.

Its totally possible and safe go to the toilet in lower level lucids when the connection between you and your sleeping body is safely disconnected (as i experienced today).
However in cognitive (stronger awareness) lucids there seems to be a higher connection with the sleeping physical body (most lucid dreamers might have already experienced the physical orgasm upon waking experience). At this state it would not be advisable to pee or poo in dream.. but anyone is welcome to prove me wrong lol.

[miss_maya]

Update: 4th November 09
Lucidity level: 7
Dream sign: probably Snoop Dogg.
Reality checks: dream feeling.

THANKS SNOOP

Roaming around and i roam into macdonalds (Russel street), where i meet Trey and his Asian friend who had just come back from some goth party. I realize i'm badly dressed in my daggy long denim skirt.
I go to the upstairs part of macdonalds where i meet Snoop Dogg, he's very accommodating and i recognize him from a dream i had earlier that night. i think about this for a few moments.
Suddenly i'm at home in the dark, and i'm lucid. I go out onto the veranda. i notice a beautiful dawn sunrise through dark clouds, (happening where the sun usually sets, but it didn't matter), and the air smells wonderfully fresh. My doggy comes out of her dog house and sniffs me as usual. I instinctively want to stand on top of the veranda railing to fully enjoy the atmosphere, but i can't seem to get up there.. its as if the memory data of actually ever doing so IRL is missing so my mind is struggling to come up with the correct feeling (or something). However the thud i make on the wooden flooring feels surprisingly real, i even jump a few times to feel the wood bounce back under my weight. The lucid sensation of solidity still manages to surprise me every time..
I notice something happening next door, i randomly begin to sing..

[miss_maya]

Update: 5th November 09
Lucidity level: 3
Dream sign: the oddness of a local scene
Reality checks: dream feeling.

NO ROOM FOR COMPULSION

I'm down at the local shops near my house, there is an Italian restaurant there and a nice chubby lady behind the counter gives me a banana, i peel it and there is an assortment of other fruit in there. i say "Hey how'd you get those in there!?" she just looks at me and smiles. I eat my fruit and start swinging on the next shops sign. Since the street is kind of steep, i decide to take a big swing and see how far down the hill i land. I seem to just slide all the way down like a water slide.
When i'm down there. Little kids are playing outside a second hand goods shop, i briefly look inside the window, but i feel no attachment to anything there.
I walk up the street again and this time some teens stand outside one of the stores, they wear really grey/worn looking emo clothes, typical of those who don't get out into the city much and have no idea of real fashion sense. Their misguided arrogant stares guide me to look at myself in the shop window. I'm wearing a gorgeous black silk dress (flares out at the waist and finishes just below the knees) and an original white head dress arranged tastefully with plastic leaves. The combination of white and black not normally supposed to match impresses even me. I become very happy and lucid.. and more happy because i feel lucid now. i walk all the way up the street towards my house. I see a hot Asian boy about to cross on the other side. I think, oh what a great dream opportunity! Since its a dream i decide to get his attention. i manage to do so by playfully running across the road and jumping onto the raised middle section. I stupidly wave my arms around like a kid while on the middle division of the road pretending to fall off (thinking maybe he'll come help), but it causes me to fall off and the dream to change. Sigh, i didn't get to meet the boy..
I drive into a car park similar to the one at my job center. Its at night and i park my car a bit further where there is more spaces. I'm in a house/apartment party walking around (just a few people around, chilled out). I seem to know some of the people here. The radio plays some kind of 80's punk style song. I hear the lyrics "i can hurt you" a few times, but it works with the mood.
1 girl says she's going to bed. I walk around some more. Trey takes me through a dark room, strange because i thought it was the same room the girl went to sleep in but she doesn't seem to be there. Trey carelessly slides the balcony door wide open and stands out enjoying the night air. He seems to want me to stand with him, but i cant help but to compulsively go back and close the door, when i do this i begin to lose the dream and never got to enjoy the balcony with him..

[Vex]

The ol' damsel in distress routine, huh? The guy must have been pretty self absorbed to not have come to your rescue.

Men...

Funny how our DCs can be so uncooperative considering they're our creations.

[miss_maya]

The ol' damsel in distress routine, huh? The guy must have been pretty self absorbed to not have come to your rescue.

Men...

Funny how our DCs can be so uncooperative considering they're our creations.

lol, i was acting pretty stupid i must admit, he was probably thinking "lol, whatever.."

..which answers the second part about them being our creations, its probably just what i would think if i was that guy, lol.

[Man of Shred]

 haha, that was a funny short lucid. too bad you didn't catch his attention. and I hate it when lucidity goes away after so quickly.

[miss_maya]

Update: 26-11-2009
Lucidity level: 8.5 (record vividness/stability)
Dream sign: constant suspicion i might be dreaming
Reality checks: check stability of scenery, reading numbers.

REVERSE GRAVITY

hang at zen temple building, i kind of missed being around spiritual people, but mainly missed the peaceful atmosphere of a true zen setting.

I'm in some sort of class, like primary school, this is a very vague random dream where i go to sit on a toilet and start peeing. I keep peeing and peeing.. and peeing.. it takes so long (in the back of my mind i know i'm dreaming, hence i don't care much about the people around me) i think i need to stop peeing..
i re-join the class of kids running around doing random stuff, a special guest arrives.
Its Koutei Sennin (a male dancer i was a fan of in the past), only now he's married and has a pot belly, i go and hug him anyway and tell him i was a fan. He performs a magic trick for us. he somehow creates 2 mini versions of himself. I shout "kawaii" (means cute in Japanese) and i play with one of his mini clones.

Such a vivid scene, i'm sitting in a room looking out of a window, everything seems soo real, soo stable, yet i'm pretty certain i might be dreaming.. i look around, and decide to look at something pleasant to RC, i spot a maroon colored modern house, i stare at it to check for dream inconsistencies.. sure enough as i move eyes up and down the house, the silver curtains move from one window to two windows, then i see a woman smoking in one window, then she teleports to another downstairs window. i'm definitely dreaming. i look around to see what there is to do.. for a moment my mind destabilizes as i look out the corner of the window, but i dont want that so i move to an appropriate position.
I feel so good, i'm always happy to know i'm dreaming, i feel free, and the air is fresh.
look at various things, power lines, overcast sky, parts of buildings, they are all unusually so stable for a dream they dont move, warp, change or anything! although my vision is a little boggle eyed.
Where do i want to go? i spot the city scape.. yes, i want to go into one of those high buildings, i jump and fly out of this window, and as i'm aiming for one of those high rise buildings, gravity seems to pull me off course, but its not pulling me down, its pulling me UP!! i let go control and ascend, omg, i'm rising without effort! this is much better than what i had planned! i let go and am pulled high up above the city, i watch the high rises get smaller below me till i reach the clouds or some place of pure white.. and still ascending. omg am i reaching a white consciousness? suddenly i find self in my white bedroom (not realizing my real bedroom is not remotely even close to white in color and arrangement) so i thought it was over.

I'm wandering a market with lots of stuff, but i'm looking for something specific. There are children and people i know around and then i'm standing outside in front of a table of bbq goods. i hold a shiny silver beer wrapper, i read text and numbers to check if i'm dreaming, i turn it upside down, and back.. the numbers change, i'm dreaming! i wander off, soon find myself in some vehicle with many people, its crowded like an elevator (looks like elevator inside) i'm facing a hot guy, his hair dyed nice dark blond color, i endulge in staring at him from behind my arm, all the girls in the truck want him.. "he's mine" i can hear them thinking.. so i think "ok he's so popular i'll let him com to me" i turn around to face mum, mum gives me some advice, which i cant hear properly or make sense of. i ask her to repeat but she doesn't want anyone 2 hear so refuses to. i'm trying to decipher whatever she said in my head.. i get muddled and annoyed that mum is distracting me from my dream concentration.

FA : i wake and need to toilet, go to bathroom in sleepy mode (stumbling).. "hang on this scene is wrong, i cant reach toilet".

[Pride]

i spot a maroon colored modern house, i stare at it to check for dream inconsistencies.. sure enough as i move eyes up and down the house, the silver curtains move from one window to two windows, then i see a woman smoking in one window, then she teleports to another downstairs window.

Haha, that's pretty cool.
nice lucid dream, i need to remember to stabilize my lucids more often

[miss_maya]

Lucidity level: 6
Dream sign: flying and scenery
Reality checks: realizing i'm flying

STILL WISHING

i'm in some street at night, there are lots of trees around and the air has a summer warmth about it.

I suddenly realize i'm flying at night but all i can see are silhouettes of trees in front of me which i am infinitely flying towards. I instantly know i'm dreaming by the feeling, but decide to confirm it in my thoughts "am i dreaming? yes, i'm flying.." and then the next question naturally arises, what to do now with this dream freedom?
Deep inside one knows that once lucid anything is possible, so the one thing i've ever really wanted in my heart pops to mind (god its embarrassing to write this because of stereotypes)..
As i fly i wish deeply to find myself in Japan, but all i see is those trees i'm forever flying towards.. "it would take a very long time to fly there" i think, so i decide to try and teleport via a sort of meditation/concentration while flying.
First i bring up that deep lingering desire to go there, then i gently allow the visuals to slowly change.. I have to keep my mind stable as i notice it becomes very easy to lose focus during all this.. I begin to feel this looseness deep inside my being, it feels something like gaining new access to a deep gentle cool breath with some forgotten part of my mind..
unfortunately it felt so good i lost lucidity and cant remember what happened next.

Morning hypnagogic imagery: as i lay there in between sleep and awake one image stands out, i see myself, looking directly back at me. I'm so beautiful. Style and make up very similar to what i've recently been doing, but my hair is a slightly different shape and my face seems smoother, missing certain flaws i usually worry about.
I think i might try that hair style out.

[Bro]

I suddenly realize i'm flying at night but all i can see are silhouettes of trees in front of me which i am infinitely flying towards. I instantly know i'm dreaming

That sounds surreal..and beautiful.

I'm the same way, flying almost always triggers lucidity for me, and it always just feels so good.. I've been trying to figure a way to kind of incubate the theme of flying more frequently into my dreams..to produce more LD's.

Anyway, great job.