fisherj's journal

[fisherj]

First Post:

Okay, so I have become pretty used to writing these down as opposed to typing them, so I'll see how I go!

(21/8/10)
Non-lucid

Driving/Georgia's house

I'm in a car with Georgia, I'm driving and we seem to be going pretty fast.. There are all these people in the back form my school and they all decide to get out and skinny dip somewhere. Georgia tells me to drive off and leave them, so I do, and when I come back they are all angry/cold, as it's night now. We are parked at some sort of petrol station, and there are about 10 trucks parked next to us... Then for some reason I'm at Georgia's house, it's a lot bigger ans has heaps of windows. James and Bronte come over and are running around the house, taking pictures of themselves, I want to join in but for some reason I know if I do something bad will happen (?) Georgia's mum gets home, and Bronte and James run away form her, Georgia is annoyed because they left without saying goodbye. I'm prettysure I have a FA here because I remember trying to write this on my iPhone..

I'm sure there was more to this but I just can't put my finger on it!

Skin
Half-lucid?

I'm in a brightly lit, white room, with a yellowish tinge to it. I'm looking at my arms and I can move my skin.. Hard to put into words but it's kind of like play-doh. I poke through my arm and at this point it clicked that I was dreaming, so I tried to bend my finger weirdly and it made a horrible noise and I woke up.

Hard to explain how lucid I was, but I knew I made a conscious choice to try and break my finger, and obviously that scared me. Frustrating!

[pj]

Question about that "half-lucid".  Was it a daytime nap in a well lit area?  This bright light thing often happens to me when I nap during the day.

[fisherj]

It was towards the morning, interestingly it was light when I woke up! I have found that light has that effect on me too, which is frustrating! But quite amazing how the outside environment affects dreams so much!

[arliatis]

Skin
Half-lucid?

I'm in a brightly lit, white room, with a yellowish tinge to it. I'm looking at my arms and I can move my skin.. Hard to put into words but it's kind of like play-doh. I poke through my arm and at this point it clicked that I was dreaming, so I tried to bend my finger weirdly and it made a horrible noise and I woke up.

Hard to explain how lucid I was, but I knew I made a conscious choice to try and break my finger, and obviously that scared me. Frustrating!

Sounds lucid to me.
Interesting how you say it made a weird sound when you bend it. When i used to use the RC when i put my finger through my hand, i could feel/hear my bones breaking.... wasn't nice but it worked.

[fisherj]

Yeah, I would say it's the most lucid I have been in a while  Yeah, I'm prettysure I could feel it too- did it cause you to wake up? I think I need to learn to control my adrenaline more, I get way too excited..

[Wolvendeer]

Yeah, sounds lucid. Quite interesting experience with your skin there.

[fisherj]

It was a really.. odd experience! I think I rationalized it in the dream somehow, too 

[arliatis]

Yeah, I would say it's the most lucid I have been in a while  Yeah, I'm prettysure I could feel it too- did it cause you to wake up? I think I need to learn to control my adrenaline more, I get way too excited.

ummm don't think so..... i'll have to look back on it tho.
i spent a good half a year, trying to learn how to control adrenalin, with a few techniques you should be able to control it
i'm sure there's topics on the subject, but the most effective way i find is to slightly alter your dream goals. for example, lately my main aim has to been to follow the dreams plot, and do tasks that branch off it. Stops me rushing everything, leading to me waking up. Sacrifice of freedom for time.
I find even when i do tasks that would normally involve adrenalin, i'm able to stay in the dream tho.

[fisherj]

That's a good idea, I think I get too focussed on my dream goals which don't really have anything to do with the dream... Need to learn to pay more attention to my surroundings
 

Sacrifice of freedom for time.

I like that, if I wake up too early tonight i'll try to use a phrase like that when MILD-ing.

[fisherj]

Ridiculous amounts of false awakenings
Non-lucid
 
Okay, so I attempted to WBTB last night, setting my alarm for about 4.30 in the morning. Before this I had about two or three False Awakenings.. I honestly for the life of me can't remember the dreams which came before them at the moment, but I guess the FA's were dreams in themselves:

FA 1- annoyed

I wake up because my mother comes into my room, talking really loudly about something. I yell at her and explain that I don't want to be disturbed before my alarm goes off. This annoys her and she keeps talking, so I shut my door on her.

FA 2- phone
I wake up, and check my phone, It doesn't tell me the time, instead it has a countdown until I need to wake up, but I don't seem to find this strange so I just go back to sleep.

After this I did actually wake up (automatically did a RC, yay!) and I checked my phone and it was about 3.30. At the time I thought all those awakenings were real, so I turned off my WBTB alarm :( Argh! It's almost like my subconscious was trying to sabotage me, which wouldn't surprise me  

[Wolvendeer]

Wow, interesting FA's.  Mine all include me barely being able to move or breathe, no matter what's happening, and with each compounding FA it gets worse for me.

[fisherj]

Wow, interesting FA's.  Mine all include me barely being able to move or breathe, no matter what's happening, and with each compounding FA it gets worse for me.

That sounds rather scary, hope that goes away!

[arliatis]

Argh! It's almost like my subconscious was trying to sabotage me, which wouldn't surprise me 

From my little experience, my SC hates me when i become lucid. I spent my first 20 or so lucids, trying to get past barriers it set up. Only recently has it been less aggressive.

[fisherj]

From my little experience, my SC hates me when i become lucid. I spent my first 20 or so lucids, trying to get past barriers it set up. Only recently has it been less aggressive.

I think it has to do with our conditioning- our mind is so used to perceiving something in one way that it automatically tries to reject anything else..

[fisherj]

Okay, so I managed to sleep through my WBTB alarm (I have no idea how that happened either) so not as productive of a night that I thought it would be..  
I did take some Melatonin last night, I have had kind of effective results with it before, but I think I took too much... That could be why I slept through the alarm?  

Grandparents/ Frozen Watermelon

Non-lucid

I am with my step-mother, and we are entering through a long, dark hallway to get into my grandparents house down south (it's in the country, on about 100 acres of forest IWL) and it seems quite similar here. As we are going in we go past a few caravans, and my step mum keeps asking me if I can ask my grandparents if she can make something, I think it's a cup of tea. I ask my grandparents and they seem to say yes although I cant see their faces/them. The atmosphere is strange, some moments are really dark (like nighttime) and some parts are similar to daylight. (I have a theory about this: that my SC is using memories and piecing them together, thus, the ever-changing feeling of my environment?) So I start making one for me too. My step-mother is talking about how awkward it is to go into someone's house and ask for things, and from what I can remember from her speech she said:

"I hate going into other people's houses and asking for things, it's so awkward! It's like, that time I went into ____'s house and I had this watermelon, and I was like well if you want this watermelon frozen then I have to put it in your freezer!" (She was talking like a teenage girl at this point, in a really overly high pitched voice)

So after I made whatever I was making, I think it was tea, she tells me that I accidentally made hers and she needs it more, so I give her half of mine. When I do this, she has turned into my actual mother.


Leavers

Really low level of lucidity
I'm at this big house somewhere in the country, and with most of my group, it feels like leavers. We are looking out the door to see if other people are coming, and eventually all these other people my age come in. I feel like I have met most of them before but I can't really place where. I feel really outnumbered by the group but end up seeing this guy, who I think is meant to be my boyfriend/have some sort of relationship with. We start kissing on the couch and one of my friends laughs at us about something so we stop. I then get really annoyed at this guy and we have a fight, and I start ignoring him. (I remember feeling really... used at this point of the dream but don't know why) and then it's the morning and everyone has left, and then they come back and we all go to some sort of festival, kind of like big day out, and we all take drugs before going in. But as soon as we get in we are all arrested, but it's similar to being suspended at school.

The reason why I put this as a really low level lucid is because I remember trying to change the events of the dream, but it was as if I couldn't be bothered to? Grrrrrr