A Mind Of Your Own
If dream characters (DCs) are a projection of our subconscious, why do they always seem to have a mind of their own?
Over the years, I've seen this question addressed a number of times on these forums. It seems a contradiction at first, but upon further reflection it shouldn't be all that surprising. Our thoughts and desires are complex, and our minds hold simultaneous competing and conflicting needs and beliefs all the time. Any decision we ponder could be viewed as two or more competing parts of our minds battling it out for dominance:
Should I forgive my brother or tell him off?
Should I eat a healthy lunch, or go for that amazing looking pizza?
I need to go to the bathroom, but I really don't want to pause in the middle of this scene on TV
Is this job worth the ulcer it's giving me?
I like to think that these competing sides sometimes manifest themselves as DCs. In the case of a seemingly non-cooperative DC, you have a goal in mind but he wants something mutually exclusive from that goal. The same battles waged while awake continue in the dream world, but now the conflicting need is fully manifested as a believable personality. Or maybe the DC is just completely disinterested because she represents that part of you that really wanted to paint a picture today. I like to celebrate these encounters as discoveries about myself. I think it's amazing and useful that we can hold completely contradictory ideas in our heads.
On the other hand, sometimes it's just annoying. We find ourselves completely lucid in a dream, and nobody wants to make it easy for us. If what you want is to be able to modify their behavior, or bring them around to your point of view, what can you do?
Test Case: Make-Out Night
A week ago, I had a night jam-packed with short LDs. For the most part, my sleep was fitful, and I woke many, many times. And each time I fell back asleep I continued my LD or went directly into another one. I have no idea how many times this happened, but probably at least 15 times. The pattern became very predictable. I wouldn't be able to do anything huge, but I could do a whole lot of small stuff!
So I started doing what I normally do when I haven't otherwise thought out what to do in my next LD: meeting women. And in this case, a lot of women. They were all different -- each seeming so detailed, unique, and alive. Some were friendly, some unfriendly, some indifferent. I asked each their name, and tried to get them to kiss me. Some did, reluctantly or enthusiastically -- others turned away. But what I was interested in was the effectiveness of my different approaches.
This is the part where I tell you what worked in my brain, and I make no promises for yours. But I'd love to hear of anyone else's experiences here. And please excuse me for seeming so shallow for trying to get helpless DCs to succumb to my desires... it's just the nature of the dreamworld sometimes. I think this logically extends to many dreams of a "non-kissing" nature as well.
The Heart Of The Matter: How To Get That Kiss
You can be excused for skipping ahead to this section, considering my long preamble. Some of the dream women went right for the kiss, but for the more resistant ones I tried the following approaches:
1. The Quiet Grab-n-Kiss
The least effective method. Occasionally worked, but just as often ended in fear or revulsion.
2. The Suggestion
"You should kiss me" worked better, but only if there was already a bit of a rapport.
3. The Demand
"Kiss me!" was hit-or-miss. About as effective as #2, but could really turn them against me if the answer was no.
4. Transferring the Desire
By far, the best approach was to smile and say "You want to kiss me." I offered it to the DCs not in the manner of a hypnotist implanting an idea, but rather as if it were a reminder of something they already knew. This worked every time, and even worked a couple of times after a previous approach had failed on the same woman.
I'm thinking this really demonstrates the power of stating something as a fact when attempting to affect the dreamworld. It reminds me of my attempts to get better at improving the lighting of a dark dream. Nothing seemed to work too well for me until I tried confidently saying out loud "The sun will rise in 10 seconds." It also helped me locate an old friend when I said "she is behind this tree."
The takeaway -- if you want something to change in your dream, try simply telling yourself (or your DCs) that it is already so. Works for me!
