Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy)

[analyst]

ON THE RIVERSIDE

Walking along
I’m at a cliff with a bridge
Which passes to the other side
I hear howling sounds
And dogs barking at a distance
The riverside is below and accessible
Across the bridge
Which descends to where my sister is
What a wide perspective
Of the scene I see

I am conversing with her
Me on the bridge, starting to cross
Her below me on her riverside

She is calling me to join her there
But with the dogs and the darkness
I choose to remain on the bridge

I tell her of a conversation I had
With our youngest sister
With what she’s moving through
Spiritually and emotionally

And my sister below yells up
A snide remark about her
To cover over her own pain
Distract from her own position
And her own faults
Yet in the very process
Displaying one of them

I stop crossing
And stand my ground
And remind her of what she knows
That nothing new lies in evading herself
By drawing attention to another’s illusion
I will not join her there

She wakes up some and
Stops calling me down to her riverside
Instead saying to wait for her
That she’ll be right up
Wishing to join me
I smile seeing through her desires

On second thought, she says
That’s she’ll be up when she can
It’ll take more time than she thought
And until then enjoy the journey
I smile with her sense of peace
And acceptance of what is here
Made by her

I encourage her to enjoy her own
That the mortar of life
Filling the space we see
Between all objects and occurrences
Holding them together
Is made only by our own perspectives
So choose them well
Or at the very least
Acknowledge their power
When we’re unconscious—to derail us
When conscious—to point us towards
And guide us to
Healing and wholeness
Until we can change those perspectives
Which seem less constructive

She thanks me
And says she’ll contend with the dogs
That their her own responsibility

+TTMBS+

[Caradon]

Wow interesting dream.

[analyst]

Wow interesting dream.

Thanks, Caradon.  I've been getting more consistent dream recall lately with consistent intentional focus, so I'm happy I decided to come back and journal them here.  I'm also relieved that the content of my dreams is mostly fun, constructive and reassuring.  Whew!

[analyst]

MEETING STEVEN WILSON

I’m single
About fifteen years younger
And living in an apartment
And my mom and my dad are alive

I won a day with Steven Wilson
And he arrives at my home
Dropped off by car
I go out to meet him
And invite him in
For coffee and conversation

He's very personable
I do not feel nervous or anxious
And I'm relaxed and happy to talk
I'm in the moment
Engaged in conversation
And we're connecting really well
While we’re hanging at my apartment
He simply feels like an old friend

My dad arrives at some point
And reminds us that we should get going
As the dinner reservation is approaching

We continue to talk a lot
As we go out to eat
And Steven explains why he's decided
To do "spend the day" meetings with his fans
After the main course
Steven suddenly leaves
And I am reminded
That I didn’t get to show him
My music library or book selection
Or even jam together

While slightly disappointed with that
I awake and feel like I really met him
Amazing

+TTMBS+

[analyst]

ESCAPING LARGE BUILDING

I'm in a basement level
Of a large building
And I'm trying to leave unnoticed
Why?
Am I being pursued?
Yes.
Who?
I'm not sure.
I move quickly along a corridor
After emerging from a stairwell
And I catch my fall
From side of the building
Down a steep embankment
Hanging by one hand
I pull myself back up
To enter the structure

NEW JOB FOR D

I'm starting a new job
It is my first day
Along with a coworker
At this new company
We followed D here
After my wife somehow
Got him laid off
At our prior company

We both go through
A loose orientation
While I carry my guitar
And a backpack
This seems important
To show D
When we finally see him

There's three storefronts
At this new place
One across the parking lot
And no boss in sight

We meet D
Who I wish to console
But he pushes off
The emotional side of things
And is all work
Or "Buddy, let’s go get a coffee"
Yeah, that sort of thing
As a diversion

So we do

+TTMBS+

[Lucid Lyra]

Oh man, the first dream seems quite different form your usual stuff! Some fun SC stuff in there. 

Oh, D - all work, no emotional stuff. I know one of those. 

[analyst]

APPEARANCES

I’m arriving at the office
It’s getting late but M is there still
Working in a main common area
Which appears like a classroom
At her desk in the front of the room
Hers is facing forward and quite near the door
I greet her, guardedly
Wondering if she’ll adjust her routine

I tell her a lie
That I have so much work to catch up on
To get what I want
Without risking exposure
Of my feelings
Which are quite complex
Intense
And dissonant

She says it’s nice to see me
After so long, with the pandemic
But she must go, get home
And I walk to my desk--
It's along the back wall, facing sideways, towards the windows
And so she packs up to leave
And she goes
And I pretend that’s fine
And that I’m fine
And I pretend to focus on work
Of which there is nothing pressing at all

I sit in my lie after she’s gone
Thinking
No
Overwhelmed with thoughts
Of self denial
Anger
Envy

Why am I here?

After some time
Realizing I still sell my own self respect
To an internal monster within
Simply for appearances
I get up and walk around
As a diversion
And leave the building
To get coffee

I have a hard time getting back inside
But the facilities staff helps
Wonders why I’m still there
As well, so do I

I’m close to finished

[analyst]

HOLE

I must be somewhere
But it doesn’t matter
I feel my chest with my hand
And with the smallest pressure
A hole forms

No pain and I am curious how
As I touch more it grows
I feel compelled to find
The boundary of
This core weakness in me

I push slightly
And it grows further
To my whole chest
And I see my organs
No rib cage here
I'm concerned about the blood
Will it pour out?

Major structural damage
How could it ever heal?
In time it will
I know it
I tell K and the kids
They’re fascinated

No one is so worried
Just how to prepare the wound
To live this way
And encourage healing?

+TTMBS+

[Lucid Lyra]

I tell K and the kids
They’re fascinated

No one is so worried
Just how to prepare the wound
To live this way
And encourage healing?

Wow, so much potential symbolism in this one.

But I love the part quoted above. <3

[analyst]

CATCHING MYSELF

I am at some sort of conference
And am staying overnight
But working late in a hotel lobby
Or business center
Catching up on some work

A few within my team are present
And a new hire comes over to me
She's just started working for
A parallel team within the org

She leans in close to me
And comments on today's session
How much there is to learn
It seems so overwhelming

I offer my help
Given my own background in the topic
And feel the pleasure of doing so
We exchange smiles and glances
And she tells me she'll take me up on my offer
After she changes into more relaxed clothes

As she walks away it give me time
To reflect on my internal energy flow
My intentionality, motivations
And how this unfolded
Are my habits to help
Potentially putting me in a position
To betray my own integrity?

I awake, feeling both the pleasure
And the underlying mixed currents
What prevented me from getting
In front of this in the dream?

I reflect on it being a constructive dream
Showing me I have more internal
Self-facing work to do


+TTMBS+

[analyst]

THE UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION

My friend and I
Arrive on the island
To find our 2 rooms
Were double booked
Really now, one room
Which has to be shared
With another 2 guys
Friends themselves

The desk clerk tells
Us that the room discount
Is contingent on us
All sleeping together naked
In the king sized bed
As two couples
My friend with one of them
Me with the other

We agree
Expecting to find
Some way out of
This uncomfortable
Position
Once we’re in the room

That night
We’re in bed
All together
And talking through
Our discomforts
“How did we allow this to happen?”
“We didn’t get ahead of it!”
“You agreed. I never did!”
Accusations fly
But we’re left
With the uncomfortable truth
That we each never stood up
For our own needs
And now we are paying the price

By morning
My friend and his new friend
Grew closer
But me and mine were at odds
We bickered all night
While they were more accepting

The desk clerk said we fulfilled
The requirements last night
But must do so each night
My stomach turns

At breakfast
I ask to switch my partner
But my friend is unwilling
He knows I have
The more belligerent one
To contend with

I guess tonight I just
Have to calm him down
“This will suck”
I mumble to myself

At our room, now a suite
There are 2 women naked
One in her 40s
One in her 60s
Both attractive women
And very forward
“Oh you’re here for the party?
Just sit. We’re just getting
Some work done.”
Is this their room?

I sit and turn on the TV
It is an adult film
About a naked family
With a small monkey
And I can’t seem to shut it off
Or switch the channel

The electrician walks
Out of the bedroom
I try to hide the program
He doesn’t notice it
But comments on
How good it is
To work on this island

All I can think of
Is how to get out of here
Ugh

I awake thinking
What the hell was all that about!?

+TTMBS+

[Lucid Lyra]

Wow, that is quite the dream!! 

Contending with the more belligerent one ... Oh, I feel that!! 

[analyst]

RISKY FISHIES

I’m in my own shop
A business selling plants
And designing an automated
Irrigation device

It starts simply
A couple of chambers of water
A timer
And…
Huh?
Two little fish
So tiny
Living in the water
In the holding tank
How did they get there?

Well, I could dispose of them now
But my device should do this automatically
So I decide to keep them alive
And use them to test
Let me see…
I’ll design some water purifier
Or some chemical to auto-add
To deter growth of any eggs present
That’ll work

Huh?
I look again and the fish are bigger

Ok.
Just finish up on this chamber design…
Then I’ll get to the fish thing
A little more tweaks on the feeding mechanism

Huh?
I look again and the fish are bigger
And one has sharp teeth, the male
I gotta get rid of them

Ok.
Almost ready to switch gears here…
Just another tweak

Wtf?
I look again and now there are babies!
About 25 in all
Holy smokes!!

I wonder what in the world I need to do now
I awake and realize the fishies are symbols
For a work situation I am included in
Where the details may erupt into something larger
And dangerous
Risky fishies
Indeed

+TTMBS+

[analyst]

SLEEPOVER

I am with my friend Chris
And he’s driving us to his house
We pick up something on the way

Once we get to his house
I passively let him decide what to do
I love just being there as a sort of latch-on
Just spending time with him
Like I would an older brother
Like I've done much of my life
With many people, actually!
Just tag along
Or go along with
Whatever situation happens.

He is being pretty independent
And securely assuming his role
And following his own needs
Not really inquiring of mine
Which feels perfectly fine
And in my own comfort zone
And I go with the flow.
We watch some TV
He has his beer
We chat
He goes to bed
And I lay down in the same room
Although I am not tired
So I just chat about life, memories
Really, I am just happy
To hang out chatting about the day

I see his wife
And we talk about the kids
They then arrive
And both look quite young

While I am in bed I recall
I need to take my medication
And I don't have my laptop bag with me
Where it would be located
I find a few old pills
Wedged in a crease
Of the bag I did bring
They need cleaning of mold
And they got a bit soft
But it is a success
Chris' mom is there
And helps guide me in the process
I just want to make due with what is available
And not make special actions for me
I don't like being an inconvenience

I get up and go outside
And continue to talk with his mom
This time, about my dad, who has passed on
We're standing in a parking lot
As I describe my dad's love of her energy
Her face transforms into his.
I freak out
Though I'm somewhat
Over-positive and enthused
As I take this as a sign
Of the truth in spirit as I professed
I describe to her what I see
Once her face reverts back

+TTMBS+

[analyst]

$20k BOOTS

At the office
I walk into a meeting room
And greet those there
M is there with others
And I sit along the far wall
Quite apart from others
The room is huge
White
It feels very clean
K looks in quickly
Takes note of the room without concern
Asks when I'll be done with work
And as strange as that would be
No one notices it except me
We begin

(gap in dream)

Somewhere else in the building
It feels like M's house now
I notice some nice boots
On display up on a high shelf
I ask what they are
M says they are the best investment
And urges me to check them out
I comply and grab a step stool
Pulling one down
The display gets shaky
Another falls on the shelf
Some socks too
I come down with the one
While repositioning the others to stand
I am admiring the boot
Very sturdy--looks like they will last forever
A one time investment
OK, I think
I go on Amazon
And I feel good complying with M
I order it
And then suddenly realize they're $20,000
I have a sense of doom
Of what I've done
In justifying such an expense
And of letting K know of it

+TTMBS+