Note: This was originally written for a DV audience, and intended as a piece of satire at first (as explained in the text), so please try to look past some of the obnoxious prose. =)
'Sup?
In this fairly spectacular, quick n' dirty guide, I'm going to reveal how you can take full control of your dreams and do all the things. Not just some of the things, not even most of the things. Nope, we're talking about all the things.
Right now, you might be speaking quite eloquently: "But, dude whose name I can't pronounce!" you implore, "Surely, you don't mean that literally. There's no way a single forum post can show me how to do everything imaginable."
Well, good sir and/or madam, that's where I can surprise you. And before you start talking at those pretty lights in front of you again, no, it has nothing to with belief or any of that mumbo jumbo. Though, this was originally conceived as a piece of satire, I decided not to waste your time with that ol' rhetoric and, instead, am offering you an invaluable piece of esoteric wisdom and well-tested knowledge.
Indeed, prepare yourselves for a straight-forward and simple method that will allow anyone to easily achieve total dream control. The method is so effective and effortless that, hilariously, reading this introduction takes more work.
Once implemented, you'll have complete and total control over your dreamscape; your will shall manifest at a thought, and an unlimited world of possibilities shall subject itself to your desires.
Ready?
The method is simple: achieve self-awareness
That's literally it. All it takes is recalling and actualizing your state of existence: asleep, dreaming, the creator of your entire environment. Then, after you achieve self-awareness within the dream, however you choose to do so (be it meditation or sheer force of will), you'll have achieved total control.
Once again: self-awareness = total control
And that is how anyone can achieve ultimate dream control.
