Leaving Her Hanging, pt. 2

[Desert Beacon]

Hey guys, I have started having even more dreams about my girlfriend and need some help interpreting.

So I know it'll be difficult to give me the best interpretation without all of the specifics but lately there has been
an overall pattern in these dreams and that's what I am trying to figure out, rather than the individual dreams.

Lately whenever my girlfriend is in my dream my interactions and feelings towards here usually end up negative.
For example last night I was up in her area and needed to get back home. A ten minute drive but a very long walk
at night time. I called her to ask for her help and she simply said she couldn't help me, and then said bye, and hung up.
A lot of time in the dreams we will be with a big group and I will go to do something and she always stays back and later
I find myself wondering where she is and wanting her to be there. She'll get really catty with me or say things that just
upset me in general.
 
The weirdest part is she has never been like she is in the dreams IRL. Not even once has she come close to being like my dreams have been portraying her lately.

What do you guys think these dreams can mean? Feel free to ask questions in order to give a better answer. I also have good dreams about her mixed in there as well.   

[greg lousy]

I'll give it some thought and maybe come back with questions and follow up.

   my first impression is that this still relates to the long distance thing.
 actually, that's my first question - you went away to school as I recall.  Did she go away too or is she in the same place? Are you home now for the summer?

[Desert Beacon]

I was away but now I am home for the Summer. The last negative dream I had about her was before I came home for the Summer!'
She was at home while I was away, she did not go anywhere.

[greg lousy]

you're brave for posting about strong and personal dreams here.  If I were in your shoes, and these were my dreams, I would think about them something like this...

A lot of time in the dreams we will be with a big group and I will go to do something and she always stays back and later
I find myself wondering where she is and wanting her to be there. She'll get really catty with me or say things that just
upset me in general.

  the premise seems literal to me, only instead going to school you just go with some group of people.  Maybe her reaction in the dreams is something like the worst possible version of how you think she might feel about it.  This doesn't imply there's any truth to it, since we are after all talking about your subconscious and not hers.

     the other bit about you being in town and her not helping you.  That one's kind of interesting because you are the one "left hanging".  I won't guess at why that is but to my mind it still relates generally to the theme of concerns or worries about your connection.

     I operate under the idea that a feeling has to be a part of you to arise in dreams, but that's me, I'm worried about being too forward so please take all this with as much salt as you see fit.

     I'm also wondering what would happen if you talked to her about these dreams. 

    another question - now that you've done a year of this long distance thing, have you two talked about how its going for you?  How you feel about it?
no pressure to answer

in any case, I wish you both well

[Desert Beacon]

Well the strong personal dreams are the ones I would most like interpreted.

Is it very common for worries to play out or affect dreams? That would make sense in this situation
but it all must be happening at a subconscious level.

I talk to her about all of these dreams and she doesn't know why it happens. She just wonders why
I dream about her in such bad ways!

We have talked about it yes and things are going well. Since I have been home from school the dreams haven't
been happening as much but still one every once in a while. Last night I had one where I was with a new girlfriend,
one I didn't see during the entire dream. What I do remember is looking at a picture of my current girlfriend and
feeling extremely sad. I had another dream about her later in the night where we were together and happy.

I don't want to look into these dreams to much and over think anything. I am just so curious as to why I am having
them in the first place and what they mean!!!

[greg lousy]

Is it very common for worries to play out or affect dreams? That would make sense in this situation
but it all must be happening at a subconscious level.

   I'm convinced it is common for me at least, and I've had many distressing girlfriend/wife dreams as well.  For me though, they've been more clearly connected to waking life issues with the relationship.  Sometimes, they have been close replications of waking life scenarios with the only difference being that my emotions are much stronger and less "controlled".  that's how I've understood a good deal of them - as experiencing purely the feelings that I evaded or denied with my waking mind.

Some would suggest that such dreams come from preexisting states and feelings and your girlfriend's image just helps them come out (some would say our waking life relationships are also this way).

don't want to look into these dreams to much and over think anything

that sounds wise to me.

More questions -1. so at this point, if you had to guess, where would you say these dreams come from?

2. Is it a regular 4 year college that your going to?
 

[Desert Beacon]

That will help me figure my dreams out a little better, for some reason I never looked into my worries or fears playing out into dreams which, seems obvious now.

If I had to guess... At first they stemmed from fears of getting my girlfriend in over her head, and then for some reason I would leave her behind. Lately though
I feel like that might have switched because I wasn't the one leaving anymore, she was the one changing. So perhaps a worry of her just walking one day. Like
I said before though, things are not on the course, at all. They are great, no signs or reasons anyone would leave.

It was a regular four year yes, but now I have decided to stay next year and will be going to a community college.

[greg lousy]

that would make sense (to me anyhow) - a lot of commitment on both sides, all during a formative age (I'm assuming your about the average college going age)


is she part of the community college decision?

[Desert Beacon]

Yeah, she's a little younger though. Well she is happy that I am staying and doing community college and was
one of the deciding factors but not the main one. I decided that on my own pretty much taking her opinion
into consideration. I feel like going to school really messed with my dreams! A lot of stress and worry..

[greg lousy]

I think that going away to college is a very significant and often difficult transition that people are often expected to do, then left to deal with with little to no processing or support.  Kind of like, "well this is what your supposed to do now", when it really is an important and personal process.