Caradon's Dream Journal

[Caradon]

Sunday/July/14/2019

 I had a little trouble falling to sleep last night. That's a little unusual now a days as it's usually more of a struggle to stay awake when I want to. I Lay down to sleep a little after 7:00pm but probably didn't fall completely to sleep until sometimes after 9:00pm. I reluctantly set my alarm clock for 4:30am because I didn't want to miss the morning sunrise on my day off during the rianstorms that the forcast promissed again, but again, failed to deliver on.  I'm always reluctant to set my alarm If I don't really have to wake up for something important  that I have to be on time to, like my job for instance.  Because I don't want to be potentially woken out of any good dreams, lucid or not, for no important reason. But as luck would have it, I did wake from a vivid dream literally seconds before my alarm went off. So the alarm didn't ruin the dream for me at least. Some people like to set alarms for WBTB, which I believe  to be an unwise practice. Because one could already be in the middle of a good lucid dream when that alarm goes off.  But then I'm the kind of person that wakes up often during the night, naturally, and can do as many WBTB's as I like when waking on my own. Maybe not everyone is like that.

I'm happy with last nights recall. I recalled something pretty much every time I woke up, I think. And my list of notes takes up more lines in my notebook than they have in a while. Mostly short bursts of recall, and nothing overly exciting, but the blow job dream was good... 

Zombie Chamber

I woke up from this one after something like an hour and a half of sleeping. "Zombie Chamber" is exactly what I wrote in my notebook to remind myself. 

I'm standing outside of a giant sized/maybe building sized metal storage container. The doors of the giant container begin to swing open. The dream has a powerful feeling tone. Somehow I'm aware that there are zombies inside and I'm preparing to combat them, decapitate them as they charge out at me. I know that they are not just normal zombies, but runners. And not even the normally easily dispatched runners. The bigger, more powerful, military runners that one occasionally comes across in my favorite zombie parkour game. "Dying Light."  The doors swing open fully, the chamber inside is huge and gloomy, difficult to see all the way in. There is dramatic music playing. I peer inside, intently, preparing to dispatch any charging monsters. And I wake without actually seeing a single zombie, darn. That could have been fun and intense. Well had an intense feeling to it even without that actual zombie battle so it was good.

Jessica Jones

The dream begins involving my 20 something year old, lying, thieving, back-stabbing nephew.

The first thing I recall well about the dream is that I had borrowed my car to my  nephew which would never happen. I remember him being gone for a really long time before returning.  I don't remember all the details of the dream that well. My piece of shit  nephew comes to me and admits to me that he and a friend of his decided to take my car for a joy ride into Canada. While in Canada they get into trouble with the law, as they had entered the country illegally, and of course doing no good stupid shit while there as well. And he now has to return to Canada to face criminal charges and punishments. I'm annoyed that he had used my car for this venture, but not surprised in the least as it's just more of his typical untrustworthy bullshit.  I hope the Canadian authorities keep him there. 

I tell someone else there, in the dream, what he had gotten himself into now. My nephew seems upset that I had told someone about it, but I don't care.

A random event as I look at the floor and see something crawling on the carpet. It's a weird looking bug. (Missed target dreamsign as bugs in the house are showing up in my dreams a lot. And I try to remember to RC every time I see a weird bug or beatle  or spider in the house.) The bug looks like a little tiny yellow scorpion with pincers. And in the bugs pincers, it's carrying a large green leaf held up in the air.  Similar to how you might see an ant lifting something much larger than it's size. I'm contemplating the bug as I watch it crawling for a few moments.


Then the next thing I remember. Is that I'm in a different part of the room now and Marvels Jessica Jones is sitting in a chair. And there is some guy laying on a cot on his back. Jessica is being mean and rude to the guy, as she often comes off as a total bitch but in reality a very good person only trying to help people. I have a sense that she is annoyed with the guy laying there, thinking him rudely flirting with her. I seem to know who the guy is, in my mind at least he is another Marvel character. Though in reality I don't know who he is just a random DC.

I have a fond memory of this moment of the dream, as I seem to have a sort of affection towards  Jessica Jones. But not in a  physical or sexual sort of way. At least not on a conscious level anyways. You just have to like her.

"Jones!" I say loudly. Jessica looks over at me.  With a little fond amusement I feel like I know something she doesn't know yet, but will find out in future episode of her show. "Be nice to the man!" I say to her. "He is one of the good ones..."  It's  a line I stole directly form her because I remember her saying that about someone else in one of her episodes. Jessica raises an eyebrow at me, seeming to half believe me but deciding to take my word for it. Jessica looks over at he man and says to him. "You're one of the good ones huh?" In a tone that implies a question.

Blow Job In The Shower

A part of a longer dream I'm at a house with some people when I decide to take a shower. A nice lady randomly shows up in my shower and gives me a nice blow job which was great. And later in the dream I'm more than a little surprised  when she starts unashamedly and openly begins telling everyone in the room about the blow job she had given me and describing the finishing results in detail  lol. 

Talking Urinal

I enter a public bathroom and there is a voice coming from the Urinal. I look again and I see that there is a person that  somehow managed to climb up inside the urinal. The persons head is way up inside it and hidden from view.  The persons legs are protruding out from the main opening. The person is apparently trying to freak people out. Talking in a dark ominous voice, pretending to be some sort of urinal entity.


Later, out of the bathroom, it's apparently some sort of shopping  center.  I ask someone if they had seen the guy in the urinal. They say yes and agree it's a very weird person.


Bear In The House


I have a rare bear dream  where the bear is friendly and in no way threatening. The bear is in the house like a pet dog. It's a brown bear, Not huge in size,  but still quite large for being in the house. And the bear is also no threat to my small dog and I'm not worried about it at all. I think the bear wants to go outside to pee so I get the leash. The bear gets all excited like a dog wanting to go outside and jumping around the house and following me around. I wake as I'm getting leash to bring it outside.



Rich Dot Com

I'm hanging out with a pretty blonde co-worker, just as friends nothing relationship wise or sexual going on in the dream. Except for she keeps ending up removing her cloths. I'm definitely admiring her body,  but not trying anything. I'm surprised at her being so comfortable that she doesn't mind me seeing her nude at all.


But then another appearance of a TV character. (Blind Spot) appears in the dream. Rich dot com.  Again I don't remember all the details of what had been going on. But I find myself having a discussion with someone man in an office building. The man is telling me that the previously mentioned pretty blonde is very upset with my affiliation with Rich dot com as friends. Because there is something suspicious about this man that she is uncomfortable with.  Because Rich Dot com has a completely clean record as if his identity had been comepletely wiped. And they think that he must be some kind of bad person because of this.


But I know him, because I have been working for the same government agency that Rich has been. Rich and I have been working together with an entire team, for the FBI, to fight against terrorism. And in fact we  have saved the world from destruction   more than one occasion. Rich has special advanced hacking skills he has been employing to help the governments  and the  world to stop evil criminals from causing thee public serious harm. His previous  identity had been wiped, because he had had a dark past and served time in prison. But he is now a special operative for the government trying to do good for the world.

Very badly I would like to explain all of this to the man, and pretty blonde that I'm having this friendship with. But the government has made all of us involved  sign a form of secrecy  under penalty of treason, that we are not to discuss our involvement  with the terrorist fighting branch of the FBI. I wake from this dream moments before my alarm goes off. 


 
 

[Caradon]

Monday/July/15/2019

Tree House People

I'm on a walkway that is built on the side of a cliff that rises up over a body of water. It's an odd sort of labyrinth walkway naturally built into the cliff. As if it's tees and roots have grown to create the walkway. It switches back and forth as it rises up and around. Looking back along the side of the cliff, it takes a moment, but I see a structure built into the side of the cliff in the same natural manner. It's difficult to make out at first because of the structures naturally camouflaged nature.


At first the structure appears to be a deck built off the cliff face overlooking the body of water. I see a dark haired lady on the deck as I try to find  a path up the winding walkway. I hear the lady make a smart ass comment, making fun of me for not being able to find the correct way up the walkway. I'm only slightly annoyed by this, as I know the correct way, but I was for some reason trying to see if I can find an alternate route through the beams and tree limbs.

I decide I'm going to show this lady the proper way to climb this odd tangled walkway. The parkour switch flips in my mind and here we go. I'm running leaping flipping up and over all these long wide twisting tree limbs and boards making up this labyrinthine trail to the deck. As I do I realize the maze is sort of a natural defense to the people who I now realize live in what has become this giant treehouse.

The dark haired tree lady sees my fluid agile run up through the natural maze and I see her  give  a slight nod in acknowledgement of my prowess and right to be there. I do a flip through the air and land on my feet on the deck. The dark haired lady has now already retreated inside the tree house.

The dream has a very magical feeling tone to it now. And the tree people have a very Avatarish quality, even sprouting monkey like tails. As I enter the main hall of the tree, I notice many of the tree people sleeping, curled up on the floor. I wonder at the time. Is it night or day? I thought it was day. Are these tree people nocturnal then, I wonder?

I see the dark haired tree lady sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by the others sleeping. Oddly the tree lady is rolling what I somehow know is a marijuana joint and lights it. Still in parkour mode and  not wanting to disturb the sleeping tree people.  I do a leap and long fully extended body flip over the top of the sleeping tree people and the dark haired tree lady. As I'm upside  down in the air, above the tree lady. She throws the joint up into the air towards me. And I'm surprised  when I easily catch the unlit side of the joint between my lips and land easily on my feet on the opposite side of the room. I inhale a long drag from the joint and exhale.


Just then, in the entranceway that I had just leaped away from, appears a male tree person. The tree man has dark hair as well, soft round faced features. His tail lazily waving behind him. The tree man squats in the entrance and takes a visual survey  of the room. I watch  as the tree man puts a finger in his ear, wiggles his finger around in his ear and pulls out a big glob of earwax that is clearly visible on the end of his finger. He casually  puts the earwax in his mouth and eats it. More than a little grossed out at this at first, I wonder at   his eating of his ear wax. Then sort of aware this entire situation is not real, I realize that the tree man was just written to do that by the writer that created this story.  I shrug it off as not a big deal. That's the last thing I remember before waking.   

[Wędajihs]

Nice lady indeed.  Interesting batch of dreams. And very well recalled and written. I was thinking about trying to dream my way to visit the pot smoking weed people until I read the last part with the ear miner.

[kineticwaves]

Yeah, the tree people dream was really nice! Nice reference to Avatar btw. I just watched that movie a few days ago. 

[Caradon]

Nice lady indeed.  Interesting batch of dreams. And very well recalled and written. I was thinking about trying to dream my way to visit the pot smoking weed people until I read the last part with the ear miner.

Thank you. I don't know what the pot smoking has been about in my dreams lately, I've not had any in twenty years and don't want any. Though it would be fun to smoke some and do some VR stuff, especially the animated VR movies where you are literally in the middle of the cartoon. I'm not ever going to though, I'm well  aware of what pot does to dream recall. And I'd rather be dreaming. 

Yeah, the tree people dream was really nice! Nice reference to Avatar btw. I just watched that movie a few days ago. 

Thank you. Nice... I should watch Avatar again too one of these days. I have the 3D Blu-ray and last time I watched it I watched it on the large screen inside the PSVR headset it was awesome... 


 

[Caradon]

Tuesday/July/16/2019

In Dream Awareness Work

I was wondering when this was going to start happening as it's happened to me in the past. Just a fragment of being I my house with to people there as guests. which is a dreamsign in itself. But  the two people were there playing video games on my Playstation.  And I was trying to practice staying focused on my awareness throughout the distraction of having them there and interacting with them.  I only recall a little bit of it. Maybe if it had been longer I would have eventually checked my watch  as an RC too.

Fire!

I'm at the Townhouses where I lived  as a kid, up until early teens. I smell smoke and the smell gets stronger every second. I realize there must be a fire, I can almost feel the heat of it as well. I look at  the ceiling and in the corner of the ceiling I can see char and smoke billowing out through what appears to be a hole beginning to burn through. I realize the entire upper level must be ablaze. For a moment I wannt to go look but I decided there is point. I think it's too late, the house is lost. I'm not afraid of being able to get out because the door to the outside is just right there.

I scoop up my dog in arms, and I wonder if I should try to save anything else or just ditch the place. I decide the only other thing worth saving than my dog is my guitar, as it has a one of a kind paint job never to be found again. And also a lot of sentimental value attached to it. My guitar is just right over there, already in it's case. So simple to grab. I have the dog in one arm, and guitar in the other hand. I run outside and immediately see a pickup up truck parked and engulfed in flames. was I mistaken about the house fire? was it just the truck all along?. I'm not sure. There is a little more to the dream that I don't remember very well. Talking to some people about the truck fire nd figuring out what to do about it.

[kineticwaves]

I've had a couple of dreams about fires, too.

And yeah, Avatar was awesome! They're coming out with another one.

[Caradon]

I've had a couple of dreams about fires, too.

And yeah, Avatar was awesome! They're coming out with another one.

Every now and then I get fire dreams. Fire acts s weird in dreams. It's pretty tough to put out too.  I've  had  dreams where there is a fire in the house and I'm trying to put it out before it gets out of control. But it's kind of like light switches, now that I think of it. I've had dreams where I'm trying to turn the lights off in the house or apartment, every time I turn around they are back on again lol. It's very annoying. I think it has  gotten me lucid though before.

Avatar was always supposed to be a trilogy or more.   The first one just being the beginning of the story.  I don't  know why it's taking him ten years to make the second one. I know James Cameron is a perfectionist when it comes to his movies and all. And I've always loved his work because he always takes such pride in his work and tries to push the boundaries of what can be done technology wise.  But ten years between movies is getting a bit ridiculous in my opinion...  At that pace half the fans will get old and die before they can watch them. And James Cameron himself would be long dead before completion and someone else will have to finish it for him lol. Since he isn't so young anymore either. Well, I looked it up and looks like the third one is planned to come out a year after the second one does at least. 

[kineticwaves]

That's interesting!

I have to agree that 10 years is a ridiculous amount of time to create a movie lol. I know artists do tend to be the perfectionists type, though lol, but I want to see the upcoming movie. At least the third one isn't going to take another 10 years.

[Caradon]

Yeah it's one I won't want to miss. Make sure you watch the 3D version...

Wednesday/July/17/2019

Didn't sleep much. I took an hour or so nap before having to get ready for work. Alarm annoyingly woke me from a very vivid very pleasant dream. Just going to try and hold the visual of it and feeling of it in my mind as much as possible throughout the evening.

There wasn't any WILDing, that I remmeber anyways. Maybe a little audio/random voices before falling to sleep.

[Caradon]

Thurs/July/18/2019


Queen Of Hearts

I'm at work and I have an old photo of a girlfriend that I had between the years of  something like 17 and sometime in my twenties. Someone who left a lasting impact on me. Last time her and I talked was sometime shortly before I took off to Colorado Springs in my twenties. (We had met at a Valentines day party that a mutual friend was throwing. At the Valentines party she had introduced herself to me as being The Queen Of Hearts, and that was kind of a running nickname from then on. Our first movie date was "Bill And Teds Excellent Adventure" When that movie just came out in theaters.")  In the dream I had the photo with me and accidentally left it sitting out. Someone saw it laying out in the open and asked me about it. I explain who she is and show a few other people at my job the photo, showing off how beautiful she is. It's a beautiful photo of her, long strawberry blond hair with black highlights on the ends. I didn't recall the dream until I saw the actual photo that I had recently taken out from my box of memorabilia in reality and set on a shelf in my living room. When I saw the real photo of her the dream all came flooding back to me.

[kineticwaves]

That's beautiful! It's cool that the dream came flooding back to you when you saw the photo. It's amazing how some people have such an influence on our lives (past friends, gfs/bfs, etc).

[Caradon]

That's beautiful! It's cool that the dream came flooding back to you when you saw the photo. It's amazing how some people have such an influence on our lives (past friends, gfs/bfs, etc).

Well she has always been the one. The one true love. The one that will forever be at the core, and the symbol, of that emotion for me.

Yesterday I was thinking about something she had told me once. As I was lucid dreaming a lot back in the days when I was with her. She once told me that she believed that her dreaming mind was different than her waking mind and that when she wants to have a certain type of dream she asks her dreaming mind to bring her that type of dream.


So I had started doing that a lot with lucid dreaming. So I would start asking my dreaming mind to please help bring me a lucid dream. And in times of bad recall also ask it to help me remember my dreams. And it did seem to help. And I had forgotten about that. So yesterday I was doing that, asking my dreaming mind to bring me a lucid dream and to help me remember my dreams. It apparently must have did something. Because I got lucid that very night. after a WBTB.  Granted my awareness level has been starting to get better while I'm at work as well the last couple of days. Which is tricky, many distractions. But that could be a benefit in the long run if I can get decent at maintaining awareness with lots of distractions going on around me, and interactions with people.

[kineticwaves]

That's really cool that she gave you that advice. If it's okay to ask, do you guys still know each other?

I had a friend that the universe introduced me to, and it seemed like we knew each other in a past life. Sometimes I feel haunted by not being able to see each other that much, but I know we were meant to be friends.

I have another friend - online friend - that I know I was also meant to be friends with. She's one of my best friends to this day.

I know they're my friends but what you mentioned struck a chord with me.

Maybe I'll connect to old friends through the dream realm if I try hard enough.

[Caradon]

That's really cool that she gave you that advice. If it's okay to ask, do you guys still know each other?

I had a friend that the universe introduced me to, and it seemed like we knew each other in a past life. Sometimes I feel haunted by not being able to see each other that much, but I know we were meant to be friends.

I have another friend - online friend - that I know I was also meant to be friends with. She's one of my best friends to this day.

I know they're my friends but what you mentioned struck a chord with me.

Maybe I'll connect to old friends through the dream realm if I try hard enough.

No I have no idea if she is still even alive. The last time I talked with her was shortly before I took off to Colorado Springs for a few years. Late in 1993 or early 1994 something like that. A time before internet or cell phones. The world was a much more peaceful quieter place back then. As much as I enjoy the internet, and especially my Netflix streaming. Sometimes I wish it was never created.  It's a continuous non stop distraction in life.

There was no email back then, no texting. The only way to communicate was through a land line phone, or write a letter on a piece of paper and send it in the mail. The last time I talked with her on the phone, there was a tone in her voice that had made me feel like she was irritated that I had called her. I had decided I couldn't take anymore of all the hurting I was going through.  After our last conversation, I hung up the phone. Said a silent goodbye to her in my head, wished her a happy life. I had the phone company disconnect my phone service. And I moved out of state soon after in order to spend time back-packing in the mountains. I never told her I was leaving. Though I assume she found out where I went through mutual friends.

I had a deeply profound love for that girl, the queen. And for a while at least, she had me convinced she felt the same way about me. So that only  deepened my feelings for her even more. Until things started going all to shit, and I was pretty much destroyed inside. After her loss, I didn't even want to be with anyone else ever again. And for most of my life I didn't even want to try. Until I was like 40, I tried again.  And that was huge stupid mistake that led me down dark  roads of pure hell and depression. And that's where I've been since I stopped being a part of the dreaming communities.

I've recently been using my memories of the queen, at least the good portions of those memories, to try and heal and bring back a part of myself that died when her and I parted ways. The part of  myself that could still feel the magic of a childhood crush. The part that could still dream of a fairy tale romance. I came to realize, I don't actually need to live it  to feel it. And wanted to at least be able to feel the magic of the fantasy of it, the dream of it. The way I use to be able to, before all the hurting began...

Once sitting with the queen, she tore a dollar bill in half. She handed me half of that dollar bill and kept the other half to herself. And she told me that for as long as were are ever apart in life, each one of us, will only be halves  of a whole. I still have my half of that dollar. Now, she is more of a symbol to me than anything real. Represents those magical emotions. And I still have that old photo. And I swear, even in that old photo, she still seems to glow like an angel.

But now, I'm purely an Isolationist. All I want in life is a nice quiet place to be left alone to enjoy the rest of my time in this world in peace and quiet and my dreams, stories, and fantasies. I don't talk to anyone outside of work any more than I have to. If I could afford  to, I'd do a disappearing act. Have an underground bunker built on a nice chunk of land that I never have to leave. A place where no one would know where I am or ever be able to find me.