Caradon's WILD/Hypnagogia Journal

[Caradon]

Thursday/December/31/2020

-I find myself out on the street in front of my house looking for the mail box. There is lots of snow (as there is in reality at the moment.) The mail box is gone and I'm wondering where it went. I look at the high bank of snow and decided that the mail box must have gotten buried in the snow when the plow came through. I'm going to have to get the shovel and dig it out or I'm probably not going to get my mail.

-Scene opens up, fully lucid. I'm in the  hall of my home. Same basic spot as two recent previous WiLDing moments where the door is that I hang my calendar. In reality, I also have my bike in that hall leaning up against the wall.(I've been keeping it there within view because it somehow helps me feel the presence of my lost friend.) When My dream opens up I'm standing there looking directly at the bike. It's not a stable scene at all it feels like it will fade away at any moment and I know it will. I rest my hand on the basket on the back that my friend rides in. And I use my foot to push the pedal, and spin the crank and pedal around. I kick the pedal with my foot several times feeling the motion of it trying to hold myself there for as long as I can. But ultimately fades after a few moments.

-Continuing to try to fall asleep I'm doing a weird thing with my mind that I don't know how to describe. I was playing with the focus of my awareness in different ways which was feeling weird but fun  and I'm able to drag myself into a scene which is in a room of a house within a virtual reality zombie apocalypse game I have. I feel like my lucidity at this point as the scene opens up is only partial as I feel a little nervous about the zombies. (The game itself in reality is actually very tense and the zombies are real threat.)

I'm standing there at the bottom of the stairway, and even though I'm saying it felt partially lucid, I know I had some lucidity because I was thinking to myself that it's odd that I would create this place as a dream to WILD into because it's scary. (And I did feel like I purposely brought myself into this particular scene at the time. But had I been fully lucid would not been worried at all, and loved to be lucid in this place... But I stand there nervously looking this way and that expecting a zombie could appear at any moment from any direction and preparing to defend myself. (If fully lucid I wouldn't have been feeling so vulnerable and wouldn't have cared if zombies attacked...) So was kind of weird but pretty damn cool WILDing into that place.

[Caradon]

Friday/January/1/2021

I enter a work scene without lucidity. It's kind of a stressful moment. Then I remember what is going on and that I'm dreaming. I get that total relief feeling when realizing you're dreaming in a shitty situation and knowing none of it matters. But the dream fades shortly after.

[Caradon]

Monday/January/4/2021

After a brief wake back to bed.

Projecting Onto A Dreamers Freddy Bus

I enter a scene with lucidity but what I feel is only partial lucidity since in the scene I believe that I have projected myself into another persons dream.

I'm on a moving bus. At first I'm looking for the little bald man with glasses. I know he is here, but vanishing the moment I turn in his direction. But then I forget about the bald man and think about the persons dream that I have projected myself into. I look out the window of the bus and watch the buildings passing by and I have an odd thought and wonder if the person whos dream this is is always dreaming that they are on a bus when they dream.

Then I turn and look down the isle to the driver in the drivers seat. I only see him from the back, of course. And I only see him as a dark shadow shape, a shadowy silhouette. But I can see that wide brimmed hat of his, and those long blade fingers on the wheel. Of course it is, I'm on the Freddy bus, of course. And Freddy is driving us to some hellish nightmare realm. And I come out of it.

-Took a short nap but didn't get anything for WILDing that I remember. 

[Caradon]

Tuesday/January/5/2021

I just remember the tail end of a scene I enter without lucidity. I'm on a ship at sea. It's on old wooden ship like an old pirate war ship. It's dark, storming, lots of rain. Someone in a soaked hooded cloak is grabbed and dragged to the side of the ship and thrown over the side into the ocean.

[Caradon]

Sunday/January/10/2021

-Feeling wide awake as I sit there eyes closed trying to keep my thoughts silent the scene of the kitchen I'm sitting in forms itself and it feels more somehow more  intense than usual.  I just sit there looking around thinking wow. For a moment it feels as if I might have successfully entered a full blown dream but it ends up fading as usual.

-Almost forgot this one it was cool. I didn't enter a scene at all it was pure sensation. Eve though it still felt as if I was in my chair, feet out I could feel myself floating. I started tilting to the side to my right. It felt really cool and I was wondering if I could turn all the way upside down. And I did. I somehow willed myself all the way over until I was hanging upside down. I enjoy the weird sensation for a moment and then will myself to continue so I did like a full barrel roll back to an upright position.

[Caradon]

Wednesday/January/13/2021

Sitting there eyes closed trying to force myself to fall back to sleep for a while I'm unable to do more than drift a little, sink in and out of almost sleeping. When suddenly my computer appears in front of me on the table. It's a weird feeling, feeling wide awake sitting in my chair and looking directly at my computer sitting there on the table but knowing it's an image from my mind. There is a picture on the screen, like the landscapes they show when first turning it on. I see an image of a river, more of a stream really. And the water is moving across the screen like as if more of a video than a picture. I'm just like wow, and stare at it until it fades.

[Caradon]

Saturday/January/16/2021

I hear a friendly male voice use my name in greeting so loudly and clearly it startled me awake and I nearly jumped out of my chair. It was as startling as if you believe yourself to be alone in a room and someone sneaks up behind you and randomly yells your name in your ear.

It's been a while since I've gotten that powerful an audio. But lately I've been trying to focus more on trying to get the audio first. It takes a lot of concentration since to do so I need to completely silence verbal thought.

[Caradon]

Sunday/January/17/2021

I enter a work scene lucid and I'm walking around pointing out dream characters and dreamsigns. Almost as if I was trying to keep reminding myself. Just walking around the place and each co-worker I see a I say to myself "You're a dream character. You're a dream character. This is a dreamsign. That's a dreamsign." Then it suddenly dawns on me that I've been walking around here doing this for a while now and I get excited thinking I'm successfully WILDing, actually staying in it. But my sudden excitement causes me to wake up.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/January/19/2021

I was having trouble falling to sleep. My mind kept wandering but at least I was mostly thinking about lucid dreaming stuff maybe that helped me to be lucid when I finally fell to sleep.

-I lose lucidity as I enter a scene where I'm laying on my back on a bed. And there she is again, my lost friend. Laying there with me curled up near the end of the bed near my feet. I reach out with my foot and scratch behind her ear my my toe and I come out of it. I was pretty amazed that she just appeared again like that. And thinking about it, kept me awake a while longer.

-I hear a voice speak a sentence I couldn't make out the words clearly but the sound of it had a bit of an echo to it as if it was spoken in open  place like a cathedral or church or music hall or something. I was thinking of it as a church. Then very clearly I hear the sound of someone coughing a few times. "Cough cough cough." the sound of the coughing has that same sort of echo to it as if in a church where everyone is quiet, then a persons sudden coughing in the silence.

-Then I begin to clearly hear music. Weird sounding music that sounds like it could be the theme music to the start of a TV news broadcast. As I listen to it that's how I'm thinking of it, as the start of the news broadcast. Then the scene forms and it's my living room. I'm in front of the TV which is playing the news on it. Only the news anchor person or what ever you call them is not on the TV set. It's a woman and she is standing in the room just off to the side of the TV with a microphone in her hand describing the news as it's being shown on the screen. But the scene fades pretty quickly.

[Wędajihs]

That last part brings new meaning to the term live broadcast.

[Caradon]

Lol, I guess you're right.

[Caradon]

Thursday/April/29/2021

A brief late morning WILD where I enter a work scene lucid and I see someone doing something ridiculously wrong. I'm thinking that is definitely a dream. I watch them with humor as they continue with their ridiculous task. I'm kind of surprised when the scene doesn't immediately fade away and I'm able to continue watching them for a little bit before it finally does fade away.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/May/4/2021

I couldn't sleep and I kept drifting in and out of weird scenes.

-There was a series of five or six where I kept drifting into the same scene of smoking a cigarette. Well the first one I was under my blankets and I had a pack of cigarettes.
There is somehow enough light to see and I flip to top up and I see a couple that are broken. I'm thinking about going outside and smoking one but I don't even want to get up from under my blanket.

-I come out of and, I drift back into a see now I'm actually smoking the cigarette and I keep drifting in and out of it. Sometimes the location of the scene changes but always still with a lit cigarette in hand.

-A weird one where I enter a public bathroom scene and there is some guy in the bathroom with an eyeball on his forehead.

-All of a sudden I'm looking around at the dimly lit inside walls of my tent. (Because that's where I was.) I can't even tell if my eyes are open or closed. I'm not sure if I'm looking at a dream scene or actually looking around at the inside of my tent. Finally decide it's a dream scene and my eyes must be closed. Then the scene fades away and I actually open my eyes, and I'm like duh. Because in reality it's so pitch black in my tent I can't even see the inside walls, and the blanket is over my head anyways.   





   

[Caradon]

Sunday/May/9/2021

I keep hearing what sounds like someone knocking on glass as if they are outside the house knocking on the window wanting to come inside. 

[Caradon]

Friday/May/14/2021

Late into the morning Saturday. Was kind of in a shit mood, despite previously being happy to finally have a day off after working ten days straight. But I was in a weird kind of crappy mood where I didn't want to be awake to do anything, and yet was too awake to fall back to sleep either.

I just kind of lay there with my eyes closed hoping to fall back to sleep but not really expecting to.

I end up drifting off a little into a scene where I'm in the back yard (Bright sunny day) and I'm watching a squirrel running around in the yard. I don't have any lucidity at first, but then there is a bright white light shinning in my eyes making it difficult for me to see the squirrel. It's as if the sun is reflecting off of something metal in the yard and shinning super brightly, super white.

But then I remember and become lucid and in kind of awe for a moment, at the brilliant white light. I recognize it because I've seen it before, During hypnagogia/Wake Initiated dreams. A handful of times (But it's been a very long time since the last time.) But I've come to wonder, and suspect, the light is the same as what people sometimes describe seeing during near death experiences. I'm kind of startled by my recognition of it and startled awake.

I then decide to just get up and watch some Netflix until I start getting sleepy again and go back to sleep but with no recall.