Caradon's WILD/Hypnagogia Journal

[Caradon]

I need to try and update this more. I've been getting stuff now and then I've just not been writing it down. For a while I was falling to sleep listening to my music so that was making it difficult for doing any wake initiated stuff. But there was a few instances where the sound of the music was creating scenes. But most of the time I would just fall to sleep to the music. 

Saturday/July/3/2021

While trying to fall back to sleep I'm laying there trying to keep my thoughts as silent as I can and just watch the darkness behind my eyes. All of a sudden I'm fully lucid and looking at a refrigerator. On the refrigerator door is is a drawing on a piece of paper attached to the door somehow. I can't remember what was depicted in teh drawing, I was more focused on the amazingly vivid detail of the scene and thinking about how incredibly vivid and realistic it seemed And I just stare at the image for a few moments before coming out of it.

There was something else too but I don't remember what it was.

[Caradon]

Sunday/July/4/2021

I must have been more tired than I had thought. I lay down and close my eyes and almost immediately begin to hear a random voice counting numbers. Then I hear another voice talking about hearing voices. Then a scene opens up and I see a man in front of me talking, I don't remember the details of what he was saying. But I had thought he was talking to me. But then I realize he is not actually addressing me, but some woman who was off to the side of me out of view. I watch as he walks over to her and takes her in arm and they begin to walk off together. But then they both stop and turn around and walk up to me wanting to tell me something but I come out if it pretty quickly at that point.

I then just end up falling completely to sleep. I'm on a bit of a wake back to bed right now. If I get anything else I'll edit in later.

[Caradon]

Monday/July/5/2021

-I hear a random voice clearly say "I couldn't do that." Immediately after hearing the words I'm all of a sudden looking at random scene. Just an ordinary back roads street with houses along it. A few trees here and there. On the right side of the street is a yard with a tall wooden privacy type fence around it. I see some small birds fly up and away, from somewhere near the fence. I just watch the birds flying off into the distance as I come out of it.

-I enter a scene of being in my home, well, I'm just walking in actually from the porch door. A rabbit runs in through the door before I close it and off to some place in the house that I don't see. My lost friends appears and she is excitedly running around this way and that looking for the rabbit, trying to figure out where it went.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/July/6/2021

-The on thing I was able to get before giving in to the urge to roll over and just go to sleep as an image of some chips and Queso cheese dip (which I had been eating on my day off.) 

[Caradon]

Saturday/July/10/2021

I was still unable to get much of any sleep. I tried falling back to sleep for a couple of hours before going to work but just couldn't. I mostly just kept drifting in and out of work scenes I don't know how many times.

A couple moments of interest.

-Laying there I can feel pain in my spine and I'm just trying to keep my thoughts silent as I float within myself and direct my awareness throughout my body. Focusing on directing my awareness through the painful area of my spine and trying to massage the area with my mind. As I'm doing what I'm doing, I think I lose awareness a little as someone approaches me and starts asking me about my back injury. I'm a little annoyed by them distracting me from my meditation as I make some attempt to answer them without losing my concentration.

-I enter a work scene and I see Joan. She randomly says something like "This is happy hour." ( Her comment I'm sure is in reference to something we had been joking about the previous day in reality. There was some kind of fair going on in the area called a fun fest. And I had joked that we were having our own fun fest right here. And that was kind of the running joke throughout the day.) Anyways, when she says it's happy hour. I say to her. "Yeah, I'm already getting into hypnagogia." Then the scene fades.   

[Caradon]

Sunday/July/11/2021

-I enter a work scene lucid and right away I notice too many people bumping into each other while trying to get past each other. I come out of it and wonder what is with all the work scene HI stuff.

-Then another scene fades in and I'm looking at a vivid image of my hand and I turn my hand and see an insect crawling across the back of my hand that looks like one of those water bugs. I just observe the bug crawling on my hand for a bit before coming out of it.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/August/3/2021

After my wake back to bed I lay down to sleep and slip into this weird scene without lucidity and I'm watching this creature that I can only describe as being gargoyle like. Wings, greenish skin, bald head, long claw like fingers. The creature has several children that look much like itself only little, child like. The creature it's feeding it's children one by one some kind of unpleasant looking mixture out of a bowl. With it feeds them it strokes their heads lovingly. I come  out of it wondering where the heck that oddness came from.

[Caradon]

Wednesday/August/11/2021

Listening to some voice speaking random sentences. I wish I could remember the exact words but I can't now. I remember the sentences were kind of nonsensical and I was amused by them and thinking about posting it it here. After falling to sleep and waking up I was disappointed that I couldn't remember what was said exactly. I do remember the spoken sentences  opening up into a scene where I'm viewing two people in an outdoor setting, sitting in a grassing meadow and having a conversation.

[Caradon]

Saturday/August/14/2021

You know you're tired when the instant you close your eyes you begin falling into hypnagogia.

I lay back and close my eyes attempting to stay aware. The instant I close my eyes I enter a work scene fully lucid. There is a lady there that I've not seen in a while. She looks at me with a big smile and says hi to me, calling me by name. And then I come out of it. After that I just fall completely to sleep. 

[Caradon]

Monday/August/16/2021

After I wake from my nap I try to sleep some more but I just keep drifting in and out of scenes fully lucid. Most of it is just looking around inside my tent and I had one moment that felt almost as if I was leaving my body. The most significant of these is when I find myself in my bathroom looking around still fully aware it's a dream and trying to hold onto it/keep it from fading. I'm somewhat successful for a little while trying to focus on the scene in a way I'm not sure exactly how to describe. But I'm a little surprised that it's working as well as it is and I'm holding onto the scene for some time and beginning to think maybe I've got this but then it slips away from me.

[Caradon]

Monday/August/23/2021

Last night I had a lot of looking through my eyelids to the point it was almost getting annoying. The first couple of times I felt so wide awake while it was happening that I wasn't sure if my eyes were actually open or still closed. I was laying on my back in my living room tent and I kept seeing the inside of my tent and looking up at the ceiling of the tent. I finally got tired of that and rolled over on my side just wanting to fall asleep now. Still having trouble falling to sleep I was still getting more looking through my eyelids while laying on my side and interesting enough my view switched too, too looking at the side wall of my tent in the direction I was laying on. Until eventually finally falling completely to sleep.

And also seemingly directly into dreams as supposedly not supposed to happen when first falling to sleep. But I woke up from vivid recall of a dream that was so humorous I woke myself up laughing so hard. And when I looked at my clock it had only been an hour and a half since I lay down. I don't know how long I was actually sleeping it seemed like I was drifting in and out of looking through my eyelids forever before finally falling to sleep.

But that was the beginning of a great night of recall and eventually getting a full blown lucid.

[Caradon]

Monday/August/30/2021

I had a bunch more fading in and out of looking through the eyelids thing going on. A couple of times I actually forgot and didn't even realize my eyes were actually closed for a moment as I was staring up at the ceiling of my living room tent. Then suddenly remembering my eyes were closed and the surprise of the realization making me come out of it.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/August/31/2021

I enter a scene without lucidity. My mom is sitting on a couch and has my lost friend in her lap and working on giving her a hair cut. (As she sometimes did in reality.) Mom is momentarily distracted by something on the TV as she has the TV on. My lost friend takes advantage of moms distraction and leaps off of her lap and runs over to me. And I come out of it.

[Caradon]

 Update Monday/April/24/2022

I might begin working on this again. The reason I've not been is mostly because of my back injury. I had started sleeping laying down in my living room tent again (apposed to sitting up in my office chair) but laying on my side as laying on my back is not such a good thing when pressure is being put on the wrong point on my spine. And as recall has been pretty good I was just trying to fall to sleep as quickly as possible and get myself into dreamland. But I think I might have found a way to lay on my back in a position that is both comfortable and also puts pressure from my weight on the right spot in a way that feels good is good for it. I'm going to give it a try anyways and see how it goes.

I have had some weird bits of hypnagogia here and there laying on my side that I've not posted but rarely and far between as I usually fall asleep too quickly on my side.

I had a little bit going into my nap that I don't recall very well but I remember suddenly finding myself in an outdoor scene lots of trees around and the air filled with falling leaves and the whole thing had felt pretty nice. There was something else before that too but I don't recall what it was now.

[Caradon]

Tuesday/May/3/2022

-The face of a woman with long dark hair appears in front of me. Her lips part and a long thick curving tongue snakes out of her mouth the image very demon looking. She is licking at my face when I come out of it. I'm wonder if that is like an old hag thing people talk of. Nothing frightening to me about it as I was fully lucid freaky but cool. (It's actually the second time since my last post a sort of demon woman appears in front of me like that. Last time was freakier as the woman's mouth opens wide showing rows of long needle like teeth. Almost vampire like. My thought as I looked at her was wow freaky then it faded.)

-I begin to drift off again. Another woman appears this time seeming to hover just over me as I'm on my back her face very near to mine. Then it fades.

-Drifting off again I lose lucidity as I'm in my living room tent and the tent is suddenly full of light and for a moment I believe I accidently left my little lantern on. I move to turn off the lantern and I come out of it realizing that it was just a dream scene and all is actually dark. (This also happened before since my last post. Random light appearing and thinking my lantern still on.)

I then fall completely to sleep.