27Feb2021
Recall: 4/5
Clarity: 5/5
Lucidity: 0/5
Where's My Baby?!
I'm sitting in my chiropractor's office waiting room in the dark. I don't notice this in-dream, but it doesn't resemble the waiting room in real life. For example, the chairs are hard plastic rather than wooden and cushioned, and they are lined up along the wall that faces the entrance rather than placed all around the room. The room generally feels dark, cold, and sterile (whereas the real life waiting room is cozy, warm, and inviting).
Since my chair faces the entrance, I am watching the door. Also unlike the real life office, there are windows to the outside on each side of me; the scenery and noise resemble those of a bustling city rather than the quiet town in which the office is truly located (although, again, I didn't think much of it in-dream). The office and town felt more like my hometown (which is much less peaceful and less safe than my current town).
I see my chiropractor (Dr. D) appear at the entrance with her keys (not sure how I even got in if the doors were locked, but I didn't question it at the time). She seems surprised, but happy to see me. I usually go once a month, but it's only been a week. She acknowledges this and asks what's wrong. I tell her of an eye problem I am having, and something about a blister (not things I would typically go to her for). She says something somewhat nonsensical about the blister, along the lines of "disease is building up in it and a spinal adjustment should help with the drainage". Even in the dream, I question whether this makes sense.
At this point, I realize that I have my 8-month-old daughter (M) in my lap. I wonder where I would be able to set her down while I get my spine adjusted.
Next thing I know, M is nowhere to be found. I look all over the office with no luck. Dr. D comforts me and helps me look; she eventually points out the window at M waddling toward a playground (in reality, M doesn't walk independently yet). I aggressively push the window open and jump through it to go after her - only, when the walking baby turns toward me, I realize that it's not actually M.
Panicked, I chase after every baby in the area only to find that none of them is my M. I think about potential kidnappers and other worst case scenarios.
I am back in Dr. D's office, which is now full of other patients. I'm going back and forth between sobbing about not being able to find M, apologizing for various things (breaking the window, making a scene, etc.), and continuing to look for M; I think some patients volunteered to help search at this point.
Comments:M has been attached to me like Velcro for the past few weeks, including frequent comfort nursing - especially in bed during the early morning hours. I think part of what triggered this dream is that when she's not actually on me, I feel like something's wrong; specifically, I think the period of time when I was able to sleep/dream must have been when she wasn't latched onto me, which could have triggered the "off" feeling.
Another event that likely inspired this dream was a recent walk around the block with M (with her in the "kangaroo" carrier). While on the walk, we encountered an older woman who walked toward us on the street as we approached her house. I don't know this woman at all, but I believe I have seen her before on previous walks - typically, she'll comment on how adorable M is from her porch, I'll smile and thank her, and then we'll be on her way. This has maybe happened once or twice.
This time, she got a little too close for comfort. My instinct when people invade my space is to back up, so I did just that, but she kept inching closer. My (unfortunate) instinct when people make me uncomfortable is to smile and/or make small talk, so I did that as well. She kept staring at M, repeatedly commenting on how adorable she is. In between comments about how cute M was, she was complementing me as well (she liked my glasses, my boots, etc.) and asking personal questions, like what street I lived on, who my neighbors were, and if I was currently working. Another bad habit of mine when nervous or excited is that I tend to overshare - so, this led to me giving out a little more information than I would have if my brain were fully functional. At some point, she lets me know that she's available if I ever in need of a babysitter; I politely thank her and say I'll keep her in mind. I think this was the point I was able to break away from the conversation and be on my way (I blamed it on the cold and needing to get M back home to warm up).
The optimistic side of me suspects this woman was just lonely (maybe COVID-related) or otherwise a little harmlessly socially off; I've known plenty of fine people who have a different idea of personal boundaries than I do (and to be fair, some of my boundaries are damage-induced). The fearful side of me obsessed over the potential bad intentions this woman could have had; I couldn't stop thinking of worst case scenarios and regretting giving out the information that I did. (Ironically, I went on that walk to help clear my head of other/unrelated worst-case scenario thinking!!)
On a happier note, I think the idea of M walking toward a playground with other kids was inspired by her eagerness to become independently mobile, and how excited the neighbor kids are for her to be old enough to play outside.
Regarding Dr. D's nonsensical comment - My chiropractor has helped my back pain immensely (particularly during pregnancy), but I am aware of how chiropractors may sometimes dabble in areas that are not quite under their umbrella of expertise. My experience with Dr. D has been positive, but there have been a couple comments here and there that have led to some mild skepticism on my end. I think that may be part of why Dr. D's dream comment didn't trigger a reality check, even though it was the most blatantly nonsensical part of the dream (if I'm to become lucid, I'm typically clued in by character comments rather than by environmental details).
I think the blister thing specifically may have been fueled by my recent experience/obsession with nursing blisters (ouch).
Generally, I've been under a lot of pressure lately and the anxiety is definitely coming out in my dreams. I also suspect that my thyroid may be acting up, so I have an appointment with my doctor to check up on that. I'm hoping that this will help make pleasant and/or lucid dreams a little more likely.
